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Thread: What vegans REALLY eat… (tatertots taste better!) page

  1. #1
    thaijinx's Avatar
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    Talking What vegans REALLY eat… (tatertots taste better!)

    Primal Fuel
    I have a facebook friend who is constantly posting up videos from PETA, recipes, and other goodies for me to read. Needless to say he’s just become a RAW vegan. (I know, I know, I should delete the poor fool!) But, he’s a nice guy, and really I don’t give a damn about what he eats… (I don’t know why he thinks everyone does!) I just wish he’d keep it to himself.

    Today, I almost… almost… hit the reply button too quickly. I was ready to give him a rollocking. Instead, in the name of friendship, I took the moral high ground (yes vegans, we can do it too) and I held back from saying what I really thought. Instead, I thought I’d share with you guys some fine postings.

    Poor, poor vegans…

    Today’s facebook offering was a recipe for Onion Cheese Bread… it sounds…erm… yummy…?

    Ingredients:
    • 2 cups raw almonds, soaked, rinsed, drained
    • 2 cups onion (peeled, quartered)
    • 2 cloves garlic
    • 1/4 cup sun-dried tomatoes (I used sun-dried tomatoes soaked in oil)
    • 1/4 cup water
    • 1˝ tsp sea salt
    • 1/2 cup flax meal
    • 1/2 cup psyllium husks
    • 1 cup nutritional yeast (I prefer Red Star brand)

    Eating psyllium husk? LOL As a meal!

    AND they forgot to add the cheese!

    Perhaps they could add some ‘Mozzarella Soy-Cheese Slices’ into the recipe I thought, I mean, to REALLY make it proper Onion Cheese Bread.

    Mozarella Soy-cheese Slices (made by Tofutti). Ingredients (from the website):

    Water, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, tofu, soy protein, carrageenan, maltodextrin, vinegar, calcium phosphate, potato flakes, salt, guar and carob bean gums, nondairy lactic acid, adipic acid, dairy free mozzarella cheese flavor (derived from vegetable source), natural color, and potassium sorbate.

    What the...! That's a seriously nuts ingredients list!

    So I looked into some more allowed foods and found another bunch of processed crap...

    ‘Doritos’ are vegan, and ‘Unfrosted Blueberry Pop Tarts’ are vegan!

    (I guess they don’t mind eating any old artificial crap, so long as it doesn’t contain animal.)

    Fantastic faux franks, chicken-free chicken patties, flavored soy, chips, dips, cookies, candies... this list is endless:

    Cap'n Crunch Peanut Butter Crunch – vegan
    Snyder’s of Hanover Pretzel Pieces – vegan
    Krispy Kreme Glazed Fruit Pie – vegan.
    Pepperidge Farm Turnovers, Murray Butter Cookies, and Cracker Jacks - all vegan!

    It seems that vegans are a mainstream food manufacturers and marketers wet dream, with their vast array of mouth-watering goodies. Yum!

    Maybe their home cooking is better? I thought. Eh, then again, maybe not...

    One day he linked to tribe.net, and their vegetarian/vegan recipe exchange page.

    Taking a look around the site I had to laugh, as I found this old post. It basically sums up vegan food! LOL (No wonder they eat so much processed rubbish!)

    topic posted Tue, January 23, 2007 - 11:05 PM by Badger

    OK, Your WORST receipe idea.
    C'mon, ya know you did it.
    It sucked.
    You buried the remains rather than leaving a hint to your garbage pick-up that you actually thought it was a GOOD IDEA TO COOK THAT!
    Seriously...
    What's the worst recipe you evah had???


    DENSE:
    My recent attempt to make a boiled chickpea powder dumpling.
    Dense, and oh so horrid.

    PLASMA GACK:
    Yellow split pea soup. I guess I didn't cook them quite long enough and it was terrible and gritty. My guests, quitely smiled and ate it anyway.

    oh gawd me too with the yellow pea soup >>
    it separated into 2 unblendable layers
    plasma on top, and naRsty gack on the bottom!

    CREAMY CAT FOOD CASSEROLE:
    About 6 or 7 years ago I tried to veganize a recipe for chilaquiles. I'm going to guess my first mistake was starting with a recipe on the back of a bag of tortilla chips...
    It was so fantastically bad that it remains to this day my family's measure of how bad food can really be. It's the only thing I've ever cooked that was so inedible it had to be thrown away. Think creamy cat food casserole. YUCK!

    NOT EVEN RACCOON’S WOULD EAT IT:
    So many screw ups from which to choose, the upside being I inevitably learn something from each mistake. My WORST, most inedible ~ like I wouldn't even feed it to the raccoons ~ gross recipe gone awry experience had to have been the pumpkin fudge brownies I *tried* to make for Christmas. That was how I learned you can *NOT* substitute baking chocolate for cocoa powder in a recipe. OMGAWD! It was sooo nasty ;-)~

    TATERTOTS TASTE BETTER:
    Before I went vegan I attempted to vegetarianize my friend's recipe for tater tot casserole. The original recipe contained ground beef mixed with onions and a can of cream of mushroom soup topped with tater tots and cheddar cheese. I started the tots in the oven, then mixed cream of mushroom with some cut up boca burgers and I was gagging so bad that I tossed the whole thing and just had tater tots for dinner... okay so at least it had a happy ending

    SCRAPE THE REMNANTS:
    I bake all the time, and I also move all the time...which means I'm constantly getting used to new oven temperatures and adjusting my cooking times/temps accordingly. In my most recent house, I FINALLY figured my oven out, set it 25 degrees lower, and put the baking dish o' brownie goodness in the oven. You see, I live with chocolate freaks, who, regardless of monthly cycle, ravenously devour every bit of chocolate they see (and somehow remain stick thin!!). Anyway, I completely forgot about them and they waaay overcooked. The top was still delicious, but there was about a centimeter of brownie brick just stuck in the pan. So, I brought out the dish and a load of spoons and we all just scraped the deliciousness off the top. The baking dish seriously had to soak for 3 days in warm, soapy water before I could scrape the remnants out.

    TATER TOTS AGAIN:
    I have a tater tot casserole that I think is just yummy (no burger of any kind boca or otherwise). Put the tots in a casserole dish, mix the mushroom soup with some sour cream & pour that over the tots, then top with the cheese. Add a little salt and pepper if you like. It's yummy and totally a comfort food!

    BLACK SAND:
    Black Quinoa. no recipe. I love quinoa so much I decided to try this black variety which is much more expensive. I have no idea what I did wrong but instead of coming out fluffy, like it's cousin, it was the consistency of sand. I tried to eat it with my dinner but eventually gave up and threw it away. It was very disappointing.

    RAMEN-BURGER CAKE SOMETHING:
    When I was in college I was super, super poor. So poor that I joined every club imaginable for the free snacks at meetings and I stole condiment packets from the cafeteria. If I got there early enough when the staff was setting up I could snag handfuls of saltine packets and peanut butter and jelly tubs. Anyway, I was hungry one night and was sick of top ramen and sick of condiment cracker sandwiches so this idea was born... something of a ramen-burger cake something. I cooked up the ramen but didnt use the flavor pack. When it was done I mixed in ketchup, mustard and pickle relish and then formed it into patties and rolled it in a crushed saltine and mayo mixture and pan fried it. I did eat it, mainly because I'd used up all my other ingredients, but I never made it again. Other top ramen experiments turned out better, including ramen mixed with flavor packet and peanut butter and ramen and Taco Bell sauce.

    BLUE GLUE CHOWDER:
    my brother once tried to make a chowder.
    sweet jeebus. it was like flavorless glue. so very sad. He asked me if I knew any tricks that would maybe salvage it.
    when his back was turned, I added a few drops of blue food coloring and quickly stirred it.
    When he saw it, he laughed and it made him feel ok about throwing it out.

    Taken from: OK, Your WORST receipe idea. - Vegetarian & Vegan Recipe Exchange - tribe.net

    LOL. Seriously vegans! SERIOUSLY!
    Last edited by thaijinx; 03-19-2012 at 11:00 PM.

  2. #2
    bloodorchid's Avatar
    bloodorchid is offline Senior Member
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    the nutritional yeast was the 'cheese'
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  3. #3
    j3nn's Avatar
    j3nn is online now Senior Member
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    I've seen similar cracker/bread recipes on Paleo sites actually. The nutritional yeast is the cheezy part; it's delicious and pretty nutritious.
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    onalark's Avatar
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    I admit I miss nooch sometimes.

    And WTH? You can totally make vegan chilaquiles. Sure, you can't make them with chicken, but you could sub in some sauteed mushrooms and strained coconut yogurt.

    And goddammit, I can still come up with ways to veganize things. QUICK, THROW SOME BUTTER ON ME.

  5. #5
    bloodorchid's Avatar
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    i'm makin it RAIN butter sticks
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  6. #6
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    I knew a vegetarian whose diet consisted primarily of chocolate chip cookies.
    Vegetarian =/= healthy
    Btw, after numerous health issues, and several doctors later, he was finally convinced to begin eating meat. Once he did, his health issues resolved.

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    iniQuity's Avatar
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    I was in TJs the other day and for lulz I decided to read the ingredients in the meat-free sausages and hotdogs and stuff. One of the very first ingredients is "vital wheat gluten" ... now, does this mean whoever is marketing this is saying this wheat gluten is VITAL as in: we need it? or vital in some other way? vital for the product? I was just very confused by the wording, does anybody know if this is simply a marketing ploy?

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    I think the tatertot cheese burger recipe sounds pretty tasty actually. Primal use it or heck just use the cream of mushroom soup for my 20% and devour with ketchup.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
    Starting squat: 45lbs. Heaviest squat: 180 x 2. Heaviest Deadlift: 230 x 2

  9. #9
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    *cringes*

    I haven't met a vegetarian or vegan who wasn't overweight and/or extremely unhealthy. And severely self-righteous.
    A Post-Primal PrimalPat

    Do not allow yourself to become wrapped up in a food 'lifestyle'. That is ego, and you are not that.

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    To be fair saying all vegans eat this way is like saying all of us omnivores eat hot dogs and twinkies all time. I know of a few vegans that pretty bad-ass. What i will say about them is that their vegan diet is a close to a primal/paleo diet as you can get without the meat(high fat/moderate protein and carbs). In my opinion their protein sources are less than optimal, but they are making it work. They have their ethical reasons for not eating meat. I disagree with those reasons, but we have to do what we think is right and I don't knock them for it.

    This guy(Mike Mahler) is a vegan. He has some of the best info out there when it comes to strength training and hormone optimization.
    My blog: My Primal Adventure

    "I've come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass...and I'm all out of bubble gum."

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