I used to follow the primal (type of eating). I worked out hard with kettle bells, muscle confusion, you name it. I looked and felt great! For years I lived this lifestyle.....it came easily.

Then over a course of 6 months or so, after an event of family, financial crisis, low hypothyroid and stuff. My simple life became hectic and stress was on top of me like never before. So I had this brilliant plan (I thought then) to go on the "Master Cleanse" and whip out this body fat that found me......oh boy did I lose weight!! But I lost so much more and really messed up my body!! My muscle mass was eattin away and I suddenly had saggy yucky old lady arms ...ick!! Needless to say, I gained back all that weight too and my skin and body had lost it's beautiful muscle mass and now I am Miss Frumpy.. . I lost my primal ways and instinct and so here I am...trying to start over again of a life that is in many ways, new to me....(house, family, home, money, etc...)

Today, I have been working all day on my ass...my feet feel swollen and firm. Yea, I am going to get my butt downstairs and pick up my dusty kettle balls and throw them around forsure because I know I need too. Add a few hard core lunges, grab my kettles and hike them up and down my stairs, jump rope, , stomachs, ballistic ball and ok, so good for me, right? But geeze, hard to feel so excited about this when I realize, it's ground zero again....that's what is beating me up now and I hate it!

Trust me I do care and I do want to look good in my bathing suit this year. I hid behind close doors for the last few years and I hated every minute of it. While the world seem to be enjoying life I was fearful of showing my skin considering I had nothing to wear nor would I buy fat clothes...NOT ME!

I need to lose at least 15 or 20 pounds...but for me, that's a closet full of clothes I that are screaming at me to pick up again.....I have tried fad diets in the worst of many of ways and today I realize, I got to do this slow and the right way......it's a life time thing..and I know this even more now....

I really hope I can get those "sweet" tight arms again. I am concern I really messed myself up now...

I want to be happy about who I am and what I see...I need this and I just can't take another failed attempt and I don't want to hurt my body ever again, either.

So here I am and time to scoot...gotta get to those kettle bells and do this the primal way!!

Thanks for reading.