Primal Challenge Journal: Hanna - A Swedish restart page 8

[Sabine]

Hey, there! Good to see you back.
Infinite restarts allowed.
Yay for the good stuff, sympathies for the not.

[Hanna]

Thank you Sabine!

I had a good day yesterday, food wise. Today as well so far. I am getting acupuncture this afternoon, and I am hoping that I will have the energy to go to yoga afterwards. I could get into work for an hour or so in between, but I am considering having a coffee all by myself instead.

I am having issues with the constant cookie presence in our break room. I would consider making some kind of statement about them, asking my coworkers to help me say no, but that would lead to questions about why, and i don't feel ready to share...

Just say no, I guess...

[Sabine]

Do the cookies have to be OUT? Could you stick them in a tin, so that they aren't visible or filling the room up with their cookie smell, but still right there on the table for those who want them? You could always pass it off as 'keeping the cookies fresh'.

[Candy in Wonderland]

Hi Hanna, good to see some good has happened, hoping for the bad things to pass quickly!

Maybe you could make a statement, but without making it a "lifestyle" issue. Maybe you can say that you just want to regain your health and that those cookies aren't helping you in any way, because they make you feel icky?

[Hanna]

I am so angry with myself I just want to cry.

I weigh the exact same as I did the first week of 2012. Yup. I lost, and gained, 15 pounds. And I am having areally hard time breaking the gaining cycle.

What is it about me that makes me gain weight whenever I am in a relationship? It's stupid. And here's the thing, I want to run! I WANT to run, but I am so out of shape that it seems impossible. I need to break this cycle NOW. The weekend was OK, until Sunday, and yesterday was a disaster. I use being in a long distance relationship as an excuse to over eat, and that just won't do. I was feeling so much better this spring when I was eating well, and jogging. NOw, I seem to be in transition all the time, constantly worrying about finding a job and moving. I need to find a way to keep my focus here and now, even though I want to go somewhere else. Maybe find some kind of routine that I can keep regardless of whether I am at his place or mine. I relaly need to figure this out. Because I do NOT want to be fat again. And at this rate, I already am...

[Hanna]

November 20:

B: 2 eggs
S: banana and tea
L: minced meat and cabbage
S: orange
D: omelet

Move: jogged at lunch
Play: Choir

[Sabine]

Hugs.

[Hanna]

Awww, thanks Sabine!

I did well yesterday, and I have a head ache today, which I interpret as a good thing.

Plan for today:
B: 2 eggs and multivitamins
S: coffee
L: soup with meat and veggies
S: Banana
D: 2eggs
Evening: greek yoghurt and berries

Move and play: Yoga class

Tonight and tomorrow will be hard, but I hvae yoga classes both days, which usually helps me. I did a 5 min mindfulness meditation before bed last night, which was nice. I am planning to introduce evening meditations to P (the "boy"friend) this weekend and see how he reacts.

[Sabine]

I had a sugar crash headache after a camping trip with the Girl Scouts this past weekend. Not pleasant, but very gratifying when it went away after a dose of 'good' food. Sometimes feeling bad, and knowing why you do (and that you are getting over it!) can be very satisfying.

[Hanna]

Weirdly satisfying, yes!

Wednesday and thursday were great primal days. I am feeling the bloat go away, and I am enjoying eating the way I know that I benefit most from.

I fear that it will be trying weekend. P is coming to visit. I have already warned him that I have stopped eating bread and sugar. Need to figure out an evening meal for tonight.

I bought some moose from a friend, and I am considering making some kind of roast for Saturday dinner. with oven roasted veggies and mushroom sauce. makes my mouth water! lol! I need to find some recipe!