A week... but a week without weight loss on Whole30 is like an eternity - especially when the trend has been 1 lb lost every 2-3 days.
Brad and I had a little bit of extra money this week so I talked to him and he ok'ed me to get a pair of VFF's, so I went to UPromise, logged into Road Runner Sports, used my VIP discount and free shipping and got hooked up with a pair of VFF's for $54. They're not pretty (chartruse and gray), but they're cheap. I can try them out, see if I like them, and maybe splurge on the next pair. According to RRS, they'll be loaded on the truck in 2 hours and shipped my way. So excited!!
I also got 7% of the sale refunded and placed in my kid's college fund. it's a whopping $3.79 but when you include the 10% discount on the shoes and the free shipping ($16.99 savings), it's a definite win! UPromise is the way to shop online if you have loved ones to put thru college. Anyone can set up an account and anyone you designate can receive the funds (kids, grandkids, nieces/nephews, neighbors - whoever). I just got a $8.27 deposit when I bought checks!!! Sadly, Amazon is not affiliated with UPromise, or I'd have a LOT more than just $21 in that savings account. lol
So, I'm just going to vent for a minute... please excuse me.
My sister has always kind of been the "favorite" in our family... she's also always been the most needy, and I think that's b/c she was the favorite and didn't have to become Miss Independent like I had to.
Growing up, things were given to her that I had to work for. My first car, I had to pay for. It was a piece of shit that lasted me just over a year, but drained my savings account. My sister's first car was a brand new truck, paid for by my parents (parents being mom and step-dad).
I got my first cell phone at the age of 21, paid for only by me. My sister - 17 - paid for by my parents.
When I went to college, I wasn't allowed to pick my college. I was forced to go to one that 2 hours away from home and live in the dorms. I asked to stay closer to home and stay living at home, but was told no. My sister had different rules. She chose her college and she lived at home...
My sister chose a life of cosmetology, whereas I went to school to get a "real job" where the likelihood of getting paid didn't rely solely on how many people I serviced in a day. If the pay was guaranteed, I'd go back to waitressing b/c of all the jobs I've ever held, waitressing was my favorite. (If I'd been allowed to pick my own college, I'd probably be a doctor right now b/c I would have chosen the University of Iowa instead of Northern Iowa).
When my sister left her husband, she moved in with my mom and lived there for 2 years. When she moved out and got an apartment, my mom bought her all the window coverings, a kitchen table, etc, that she would need. I supplied a couch and a coffee table that she uses for a tv stand.
Now she's moving into a house. Her ex-husband ignored the divorce decree which stated he was to remove her name from their mortgage, but because the two of them together couldn't afford the house, he certainly couldn't afford to have it refinanced to remove her name, and now it's in foreclosure, so she can't buy anything on her own. Instead of finding a new apartment to rent, they look for houses for her to buy... ok, she's currently the defendant in a foreclosure suit, so there's no bank in the world who will lend her money for another house. Enter our parents again... They are BUYING her a house. She will supposedly be buying it from them on contract, but they are still BUYING her a house.
This last week my mom has painted the entire house, top to bottom. She has cleaned the house, top to bottom. She had taken my sister shopping for furniture, and I bet my very last dollar, she bought said furniture for her. They are paying to put escape well windows in the basement so the basement can be used as a toy room for the kids. The house is TINY, so the kids will have to share a room (a boy -6, and a girl -4) and eventually they won't be able to share anymore, so she'll either have to move again, or build on. As a cosmetologist who can't get a mortgage for a house, I sincerely doubt she'll be able to get a home equity loan to put on an addition.
When Brad and I decided to move in together, my parents didn't help us move. When we bought our first house, they didn't help us move. They didn't buy us any furniture, and they didn't paint. When we bought our second house, no one helped us paint - I did all the painting myself with an 8 month old under foot - and we had friends help us move. When my parents built a new house and had to move out of the old one for it to be demolished, Brad and I were both there helping them unload the house.
I'm not saying I need this stuff b/c I'm perfectly independent and can totally take care of myself... the problem is the lack of offering to do these same things. The lack of equality and fairness. I feel like I'm always just ignored.
Oh, and even though sister is buying furniture (or maybe mom is) I'm not getting my couch or coffee table back... I'm a little peeved about this b/c I thought we had an agreement that she was borrowing them until she no longer needed them. I reiterated to her when I learned this that I DO expect to get them back at some point.
My step-mom has noticed this same thing. My step-mom and dad believe everything should be equal between the two kids.
Anyhow, I'm just a little peeved by all this. I'm sure Sister is just assuming I'll help her move this weekend, but I think I'll make her ask. Since she has so much help buying things and painting and cleaning, I'll assume she has the help to move as well. Besides, I have no one to watch my kids... Maybe I'm just being unreasonable and whiney. I don't know, but I certainly think you should treat your kids equally and provide for them equally. If you provide for one, you should offer the same to the other.
Or at the very least, STOP providing for the leech and make her grow up and take care of herself!! She chose her life... now let her live it! The longer you keep providing for her, the longer she's going to expect it, rely on it and take it for granted. She's always the "victim" and mom and step-dad always step in the save the day. CUT THE FREAKING CORD ALREADY! Geesh!
Last edited by jenn26point2; 07-26-2012 at 11:49 AM.
So, I have decided I will be doing a whole 30 for August. Which means I'm going to lax up a bit for the rest of this one. I'm going to allow some things back in - namely, dairy - until Wednesday when I restart the challenge.
I have learned this time around that I am using fruit as a sugar crutch which is causing me to continue craving sugar - especially chewy sugar like fruit snacks.
I will be adopting an 80/20 Whole30 thing for the remainder of the month of July and start fresh on the 1st. Basically, I'm tired of eggs and want some cream cheese pancakes with whipped heavy cream and strawberries. lol
wow............. sorry about the family stuff. doesn't make any sense to me. we are a blended family - my son and his 2 daughters and we've always provided equally between them. Right down to spending the same amount of money on each kid at christmas. Have you ever asked your mom why so much is given to your sister? Could it be that they would have also given that much to you, but because of your maturity and independence you just never asked? Perhaps she asks for everything and they don't know how to say no to her? Is she manipulative? It will someday be evident that they made a mistake with her - and will be proud of you for being strong and self-sufficient!
Surgery on the sinuses most likely means polyps. You'll be happy you had it done once the healing is complete! My ex had his sinuses cleaned out and he was shocked at how much better he could breath.
Will be waiting to read the results of your ENT visit tomorrow! I don't see any results of your CT scan --- just that you may need surgery? Tell me where to look please ????
And thanks for the birthday wishes! It was a good day!
Last edited by tomi; 07-26-2012 at 12:20 PM.
Read post #2626
Don't give up what you want MOST, for what you want NOW
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Tomi, I haven't heard why I need surgery yet, just that he wants me to consider it. I will find out tomorrow what the CT scan says - I hope.
Sister is very manipulative in a passive aggressive kind of way... she'll make herself out to be the victim, and then will mope and pout until someone steps in to fix the problem for her.
I guess my problem is not so much that things aren't "equal" but that I was forced to grow up and they're not also forcing her to grow up and make something of herself. They keep providing to her like a kid instead of like a 30 year old with two kids of her own. I mean, she's grown up enough to own a house, but not grown up enough to have to pay for it herself? I had to pay for MY own house... ya know?
It's just stupid, if you ask me. If she wants to buy a house, she should have to buy it herself. If she can't, well, I guess you're slummin' it up in an apartment for the next 7 years while your credit clears up. Besides, if I was her, I'd rather have an apartment - no maintenance or upkeep, furnace goes you call the landlord to fix it instead of the furnace guy who'll leave the bill with you, move whenever you want to, don't have to worry about landscaping, roof repairs, painting, etc. It's ALL someone else's responsibility. You buy a house as a single mother and the roof starts to leak... if you can't afford it, what do you do? I guess she'd probably go back to mom... it's just ridiculous. They really screwed up with her. She acts all independent until she needs something or someone pisses her off. Then she plays the victim and the "Oh woe is me" card until someone takes care of the problem for her.
"The removal of nasal polyps via surgery lasts approximately 45 minutes to 1 hour. The surgery can be done under general or local anaesthesia, and the polyps are removed using endoscopic surgery. Recovery from this type of surgery is anywhere from 1 to 3 weeks." (per wiki)
They're kidding, right???
Kidding how? Local anesthesia? Yeah I don't think I'd want to be awake while someone was digging around in my nose, but it's probably cheaper.
I definitely commiserate on the sister inequality thing (do you have other siblings?). I always felt like my sister was the favored child, being the oldest. She had better grades than I did and everything she got became the baseline for anything I got. So her first laptop at 16 meant my first laptop at 16. That one isn't/wasn't a big deal, but there were other things that I felt were really unfair to make me wait when it was something I was already mature enough to handle. Hell, my first stereo is still in use by the family and we took it on vacations all the time. It only started to skip CDs when my mom was the one handling it, after I graduated, instead of me. I guess my thought is, while the case you've described is pretty extreme with house-buying and all, you are different people. Your parents may not realize that you, the independent person you are/have always been, would like to be offered these things too, even if you will turn them down.
When I had to go to family therapy with my parents, I expressed my hurt over the perceived unfair treatment of me versus my sister growing up. They were shocked that I felt that way, it had not occurred to them to consider different treatments for us and generally stuck to one rule for one is the same as one rule for the other. They definitely treat us differently now, though it's much simpler now since we've both moved out and they don't have $$ to shower on us anyway.
Journal on depression/anxiety
Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).
I was talking about the 1-3 week recovery...
I do not have other siblings. Things were pretty equal until I moved to college. I was 18, she was 16. That's when things started skewing to the right. I am the oldest and I got the best grades. She's always been the whiney, pouty one who would determine how everyone else's day went based on her mood. When Dad used to pick us up for visitation, he said he could always tell if it was going to be a good day or a bad day based on whether or not she came out of the house smiling or not. If she was in a bad mood, everyone had a bad day. She's STILL like that. In fact, she could probably stand to take some meds for her moods b/c they are seriously all over the place.
She also has this thing about her that if she shows interest in a guy, he had BETTER become faithful to her like RIGHT NOW. The other day, she got pissy b/c a friend of ours (on our pit crew) didn't text her when he woke up like she told him to. Really? He's an adult. You're not his girlfriend OR his wife. He does NOT have to answer to you, and I'm glad he didn't. It's always either her way or the highway and sadly, I think it's that way b/c my parents and her ex-husband used to cater to it all the time.
Quite honestly, if she wasn't my sister, I'd have nothing to do with her b/c she's not the type of person I would choose as a friend. I love her and all b/c she's my sister, but I think she's a spoiled brat who thinks she's entitled to whatever she wants and it drives me bonkers.
And please stop me! I decided to put a stop to my whole 30 and the first thing I did was buy two bars of Green & Blacks 60% chocolate - one in mint and one in cherry. I've eaten about half the mint bar and 1/4 of the cherry bar... geesh. This is why I NEED the Whole30... because I don't DO moderation.
Ah sisters. Yeah, I'm not a huge fan of my sister right now either. We don't talk or hang out anymore. She's pretty invested in her newish boyfriend and I'm tired of her going through adolescence again/for the first time at the age of 25 going on 26. I guess I just don't have the patience for her. We grew up fairly close, but I'm tired of being the only one to reach out and try to make something happen, so oh well. I'll still be here when she grows up.
Journal on depression/anxiety
Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).