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Thread: My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal page 553

  1. #5521
    jenn26point2's Avatar
    jenn26point2 is online now Senior Member
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    Honestly, Tomi, I have absolutely zero interest in talking to him right now... like none, whatsoever.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  2. #5522
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    so, I take it that means those were Brads words........ or your interpretation of his words?

    Sorry, Jenn. I hope it gets worked out very soon.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    Weight goals:
    Highest weight: 216
    Current weight: 189 (7-16-14)
    Goal weight: 140

  3. #5523
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    They were his... no interpretation needed.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  4. #5524
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    Ouch. So he gets his race car tinkering and driving and all that and you, to be a "good mom" get nothing? Um, yeah, so not okay.

    As said by others, you might be better off doing what you can to find some other childcare placement that does not include inlaws. For your own mental health, if nothing else.

  5. #5525
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    *hugs* for the family drama. That all thoroughly suck a sloppy wet one.
    As to Brad's take on it, I'm at a loss. That makes so very little sense. He gets ALLL this him time, but you take you time AT ALL, and it's too much? Sounds like a double standard.
    As to MIL/ SIL, it smells like a giant cop out. Not just the racing track stuff, but the "Oh, I'm pregnant, I can't do my damn job and neither can Mom" stuff too.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  6. #5526
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    I don't even know what to think or say or do and so I've remained silent, and will remain silent til I figure out how to handle this. The things he wrote in that email were hurtful. And I guess that's the opinion of everyone on that side...
    Last edited by jenn26point2; 04-17-2014 at 06:23 AM.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  7. #5527
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    So sorry, Jenn............ the whole thing stinks! and seems totally unfair to me. My opinion....... don't give up the things you do for you. If you give up the things you love and feel are important for enriching your soul and your mind then you will end up resenting those who insisted you give them up. And - if you don't take care of yourself you will have nothing to give to others. Brad needs to know how deeply his words/feelings/thoughts have hurt you. MIL/SIL can go ......... well, you know. Find other daycare for the kids even if it isn't as convenient for you for a while - even if you have to pay a little extra to have transportation for your kids from daycare to school. Next year you can do the latchkey with both kids right?? So, you just need to find an option for the rest of the school year and for the summer.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    Weight goals:
    Highest weight: 216
    Current weight: 189 (7-16-14)
    Goal weight: 140

  8. #5528
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    Brad and I are on speaking terms again... but I'm still pissed and hurt. The problem is that he just says what he thinks and doesn't take the time or effort to soften the blow or think about how what he's saying will make people feel - he has no filter, if you will. This is why I worry about how he'll react to things and tend to keep things from him - he speaks before thinking... I am still not ready to talk to him about what he said b/c I don't feel I'm over the hurt and anger enough to say something without making a bigger mess of it all.

    MIL/SIL - I have zero interest in speaking to them. Absolutely none. SIL hasn't done anything directly, but she's so much like her mom that I'm sure she's right by her side. She also has a perfect husband who also has no faults per that side of the family...

    I thought about going over to the garage earlier, but the thought of having to say hi to MIL kept me home. This may continue for quite some time. I've always felt like I was being judged based on how she did/does things and it's always bothered me. Now that I know she thinks I'm such a bad mom that she can't stand to be around me with the kids anymore... well, that just seals the deal. F*ck her and her pristine white horse. I am not perfect. I have never claimed to be perfect. I know I have shortcomings. I know I have things I need to work on. It's hard enough to be fully aware of your shortcomings and not despise yourself for them - I don't need others pointing them out to me and judging me based on them and making me feel even less adequate.

    My house is often messy - but it's livable... there are always clean dishes to eat off of, clean clothes to wear, and clean beds to sleep in - I'm not concerned by a few pairs of worn socks or toys being scattered about. I forget things constantly and have to have reminders on my phone and calendar and I have to write notes about everything. I'm impatient. My kids faces are frequently messy. There are days I don't do anything with Makenna's hair - and I don't mean I don't do it up nice - I mean somedays I don't even brush it - it all depends on her mood that day. I try but if she throws a fit, I let it go... MIL/SIL made it a point to put her hair up everyday last summer and commented that it was fun to do a girl's hair so I let them do it... didn't realize they found fault in my leaving the hair dos up to them... But my kids are fed. They have clean clothes. They are safe. They get lots of hugs and cuddles and kisses and I love yous. I bathe them and tuck them in every night. I tuck them back in if they wake up at night... I guess if that's not enough, I'm a failure as a mother... guess it's only right that I also be a failure as a wife, gardener, bill payer (b/c wouldn't you know it, the bank sent a "reminder" that our boat payment was due on the 5th and it wasn't me that opened it), and everything else... It seems to me the only thing I AM good at is running and that's subject to interpretation too... I also have no friends and am lonely quite often, so I guess I've got it all going for me, huh? It's a wonder I have anything at all to be happy with...

    And at this moment in time, I'm having a really difficult time thinking of anything...
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  9. #5529
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    Jenn -- I know this is a hard thing to do....... but turn off the noise in your head that is telling you what OTHERS are thinking or saying about you. THEY don't matter! You're a good mom and wife - stop there. You run because you love it --- stop there. You love your kids and your husband - stop there.

    Don't let others dictate what you think and feel about yourself. SCREW THEM!

    Go home tonight and look at the smiles on your kids faces........ feel their hugs and hear their laughter! THAT is all you need to know you are a success in what you do.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    Weight goals:
    Highest weight: 216
    Current weight: 189 (7-16-14)
    Goal weight: 140

  10. #5530
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    Remember that invite I sent to all the ladies on my Facebook friends list? SIL initially RSVP'd yes... she has since changed her RSVP to no... That's nice... It's so hard not to care.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




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