Really, it's just coincidence. A few people in a particular circle of friends is not a statistically significant sample. Definitely not something to base decisions on. For what it's worth, I had a tumour removed surgically, and I'm doing just fine. Granted, it was a wussy cancer, but still... It hasn't come back, not even as a wuss.
So sorry you're having issues with hubby. But you know, most marriages go through a rocky period, and with all that you guys have on your plates, it is not at all surprising. My husband and I got through our rocky periods because we were both committed to finding solutions. I also had to put down my foot with my husband at one point, but I can tell you that I let him know at the same time that there were many things I admired about him, and I thought our marriage was worth fighting for. And, to be quite honest, I had things that had to change too. It's rarely a one-way thing. He did appreciate my acknowledgment that this was not a good guy/bad guy thing. (I'm kind of kaleidoscoping things, it was quite a bit more complex than that.) Anyway, a marriage is worth fighting for and if you can agree you'll fight together for it, you can make it. It does sound like removing some of the external sources of stress could be helpful.
If he is reluctant to go to counselling, maybe you could check into Mark Gungor's DVD marriage seminar. He might find that less threatening, and the laughter does help ease the stress. I haven't seen the whole thing, but the chunks I have seen were excellent. It could be a good starting point anyway.
I will be praying for you guys. And do remember what it is you admire about him too. It's at times like this that we most need that list...
5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again
More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
- Lewis Mumford