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My Leptin Reset Journey
F 5'9" | 32 yrs old | small frame | HW: 187 | CW: 182.5 | GW: 135
Morning all. What a whirlwind weekend!
Dad ended up in the ER again on Saturday night. He was released from the hospital on Friday evening with instructions to resume normal activities, so of course, that's what he did. He was scheduled to take an Emergency Medical Services class called "Harm on the Farm" which focused on farm related accidents. VERY important for his EMS work. Anyhow, he went and I guess it wasn't anything too strenuous. Sit at a table, get instruction, practice some practical and take a test. That night, his right leg was so swollen, it was hot to the touch and red, and he said his foot felt cold (but to the touch it was warm). So, stepmom took him back up to the ER, where they got conflicting instructions from what the original doctor told him. The second ER doc told him that it would easily be a year before the clot dissolves and the risk dissipates. He was told not to sit too long and not to stand too long... so he's like, ok, what about work? He works in maintenance, so he could be standing for a good part of the day or he could be sitting working on a machine in the plant. Sure, he can take some time off work, but not an entire year. The doctor didn't have advice for this question.
Then of course, my stepmom is terrified! She's not sleeping well, she's not eating well, she's sick to her stomach. She's a ball of nerves. She doesn't want to leave his side b/c what if he develops trouble breathing? How will he get help? (I joked and told her he needs Life Alert, but in all seriousness, I don't think it'd be a bad idea).
The biggest problem is that, like me, Dad is an EMT so he knows quite a bit about all things medical. He knows the severity of the problem he's facing, but at the same time, he knows too much b/c that results in him delaying seeking medical attention. He'll wait until it's absolutely necessary to seek medical attention before doing so. So, if he develops a tiny bit of breathing difficulty, he'll likely wait so as not to over-react, ya know? Same as me.
He's been given specific instructions by Stepmom that if he so much as takes any extra breath in the next minute, he's to call 911 b/c she'd rather pay for 100 unnecessary ambulance rides and ER visits than pay for another casket.
Everyone expected them to hold him til the clot started to dissolve and shrink, but no one realized that it could take a year for this clot to dissolve. So everyone is up in arms b/c the hospital isn't doing more... I've been down this road before (a year ago one of our family friends discovered he had a clot from his knee to his groin and he's still waiting for it to fully dissolve) so I knew it was going to be a long term concern. Stepmom is scared to death that she's going to wake up to find Dad dead or come home and find the clot has broken off and he wasn't able to call for help. I can't say that I blame her. I'm scared too. But I also know that Dad's smart enough to call for an ambulance. He's got friends on the fire department who would be there to help him in a quick minute if he needed to call 911 (that's the joys of having a very small town with a very large department).
The other concern is that they live in a mess... as in almost hoarderish. There would not be room for a gurney to get through the house to transport him out to the ambulance. And my dad's a bigger guy, probably pushing 300 lbs, so carrying him out is probably not an option for the most part. Luckily, the front door is close to the living room, in case it were to be needed.
He's supposed to go see his physician today for follow up and to get more relavent instructions regarding his activity level, what he can/should be doing, and about work. I'm anxious to see what his doctor has to say about this.
In the meantime, he's on lovenox to reduce his clotting factors and Coumadin to thin his blood, for probably the next year. It just seems so surreal! Like, is this really happening? Am I really at a great risk of losing my dad? I don't even want to think about that!
Sounds like a whole lot of stress for everyone. I'm sorry. I understand that fear of not knowing, from when my dad had a heart attack a couple of years ago. I didn't even know it was a heart attack at first because no one used that phrase. It was scary.
Would they accept help in cleaning up, even if is just as a precaution for easy access. Maybe you can help them find someone to hire, if not help clean up. My mom is really bad at getting rid of things on her own, but she does really well when I'm around and helping her sort. Actually, my dad is the same way, but with books & car things instead of clothes & paperwork.
Journal on depression/anxiety
Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).
Jenn, sending positive thoughts your way. It's so hard when our parents have serious health issues. When my mom fell & broke her hip the first of the year I was afraid to go off & leave her...even at the hospital. She's 76. At least your dad is still young & has some medical background...& friends close by that will be there to help quickly.
Keep us informed as to his progress. How are you holding up?
Goal: Don't worry be happy!
The problem is that they don't do a very good job of picking up after themselves, so things just end up stacked all over the place. They have a very large house but you'd never know it b/c there's so much stuff in it. She used to have a compulsive shopping problem. She'd buy stuff just b/c it was on clearance and then never use it. It would sit in the shopping bag on the floor for weeks, sometimes months, before she'd touch it again. That has finally come to an end. I think they ran into money trouble when she had her gall bladder removed so she doesn't shop much anymore.
Dad never picks up after himself. If he's done with a coke, the bottle/can sits on the table next to the couch until it falls off, where it stays on the floor until stepmom picks it up. She tries - really tries to get the house in order. She has marathon cleaning sessions where she'll clean the kitchen and have it looking really nice, but a week later it's trashed again. It's the same issue we have at our house. Things start to accumulate on the counters until it gets out of control and you just get overwhelmed by it so you do nothing b/c you don't know where to start. I know her pain with the house.
I do want to help her with her house, but it's hard to say "I'm going over to Dad's to clean" when I can't even keep control of my own house...
Speaking of which, I did some work at home yesterday. Brad got the kids to pick up their toys in the living room, and then I vacuumed really quick before the carpet got covered again. By then, I was in the mood, so I put the kids' toys away in the dining room (we don't have a proper toy room, so there are 4 tubs of toys and a toy shelf in our dining room along the wall). I then swept and dust mopped (OMG the amount of pet hair that accumulates in such a short time!) and after the kids went to bed, I mopped. Then I went through my FlyLady daily routine of getting things ready for the morning, doing dishes, straightening the kitchen, etc. Brad spent this whole time folding all the laundry. He put his stuff away. After he went to bed, I hung the kids' shirts/dresses and paired their socks and mine. I put my clothes away and will put the kids' away tonight (I didn't want to be messing around in their rooms while they were sleeping). I sat down when I was done and just looked around. I realized just how big our house is when things are put away, and discovered I still like our house. For a while there, I thought I hated our house, but what I really hate is the mess. I'm hoping FlyLady and I will stay in contact with each other (she tries, I'm the flake) so the house will stay this nice feeling.
Paula, how do you feel about a FlyLady Whole30? I loved your idea and I think we should do it. In 4 weeks we could cycle through all four zones and have a happy home again. What do you say?
Wow - crazy and scary weekend for you and your family Remember they said it "could" take up to a year - not that it "will".
Some family intervention to get the house in order might be necessary right now. Are they open to allowing a clean up weekend?
Read post #2626
Don't give up what you want MOST, for what you want NOW
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I love the fly lady! I have her books...somewhere! Several years ago I tried her system... Never could get it right. I'll have to check her out again & see what's new with her. My house is so tiny I only have one zone! lol
Goal: Don't worry be happy!
I'm game for the Flylady Whole30. I still need to find a system that works for the mail counter and "action item" corner (a corner of the coffee table reserved for stuff that needs to leave the house to go somewhere else, like outbound mail and stuff for his family. )
"No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
My Primal Battle Tome
I have to work on that too, Naiad. My recent approach to mail is to pick it up once a week, sort out the week's junk mail before I leave the post office, and then burn the rest. I pay most of our bills online and only need a couple of statements in paper form (like our cable and municiple bill - neither are high tech enough to accept plastic). I get a lot of insurance statements of benefits paid, but I usually just pitch those too. I know soon enough how much insurance paid when the hospital bills arrive... I have a box in my garage that is serving as the "burn box". I fill it up with mail that should by all rights be shredded, then I take it to my mom's to be burned on burn day. So much easier than shredding it all. And they burn their mail too, so I know he's careful to make sure it all gets destroyed. The other option I've heard of people doing is to gather their mail daily, sort it and bring their shredables to work - and shred them there. It's only like 3-4 pieces each day, so no one notices, really. But I've never been good about that habit.
So for a FlyLady Whole30 - so far there's me and Naiad... anyone else?
As far as a clean out weekend at my dad's? While it's a good idea, I don't know that stepmom would be all that thrilled with it. Not because people would be going through their stuff or b/c she's a control freak or anything like that... but because she doesn't want to waste anyone else's time. She knows it'll never STAY cleaned out so she'd tell us all to find something else to do. But to add to her cleaning stress, they've got Grandma's house now (Dad and I come by our untidy house genes naturally). She's been working on getting it cleared out too (grandma's is easier - you don't know what's in there, so if you just pitch it all, you're not missing anything). There's a big pile of stuff to go to Goodwill, and they've already had a garage sale. But still lots of stuff. The upstairs is cleared out though, and that was the biggest mess as no one used the upstairs when she was alive so it was the perfect place for storing crap you didn't really need but didn't want to throw away just yet.
I think my problem is ADD related. I'll be unloading the dishwasher, placing dishes on the counter (I stack the dishes for one cabinet and then carry them all over at once), then get distracted and it sits there for a while before I get back to it, and sometimes I forget. Like the tupperware like dishes - I've discovered at times that they'll sit on the counter for a day or two if I get distracted before they get put away. Which is why FlyLady is nice - if I get distracted I can just look at my list and see where I was so I can get back to it.
Her website has changed and I'm not sure I like it that much... I have to do some more exploring. FlyLady.net
After a week of following my evening routine, I think I might venture into zones this week - starting with the kitchen. I'm a much happier person if my kitchen is clean and decluttered. Usually it's clean, but not decluttered. Decluttered will be a nice feeling.
Last edited by jenn26point2; 09-16-2013 at 09:46 AM.