Making plans for how to spend money with my husband raises my blood pressure. We both have our desires - he wants to do something fun with overtime money (and who can blame him? He worked hard for it) but I'd rather do something responsible so that later we don't NEED overtime money to have fun... so anytime he approaches me about how to spend some money, my blood starts to boil - not in an "I'm furious" way, but in an "Oh, shit, here we go. Let the fights begin" kind of way... maybe this is the fight or flight mode they talk about? That being said, I totally bowed to him... the stress of finding a way to make finances work is lesser than the stress from fighting with him on how it should be spent. I'll just have to fit everything that I wanted to take care of this week elsewhere.
interesting, he just sent me the following message:
This is my response:Be honest with me, do I need to just lose weight to get you to be more interested in me? Sorry to bring it up again but I'm just not very happy with "us" right now. It's not only referring to sex either it's attention in general. If you would rather talk about it in person that's fine too. It's just easier to type it than say it for some reason.
It'll be interesting to see how the rest of the day goes... I can already tell I'm probably going to need an ativan to bring the cortisol pumping down... I'm in full blown fight or flight mode right now.It probably wouldn't hurt... I would definitely like to see you lose weight, but more for health reasons than sex related reasons. I worry about your health way more than I do your physical appearance. But there is also something to be said about physical attraction.
I think the biggest issue with 'us' is how we treat each other - how we talk to each other, the tone we use, the way we listen/don't listen, etc, the way we CARE for each other.
Last edited by jenn26point2; 07-29-2013 at 12:18 PM.
He asked me to elaborate on the last paragraph. This is how I elaborated.
It made me think of you, Tomi, when I mention "non-sexual touching" the lack of desire toward being PAWED at.We just don't seem to talk to each other with love in our voice anymore. When we stand next to each other, we don't touch. We don't act like we're in love.
Don't get me wrong - I know you love me and I love you too - but most days we don't act like it with the way we talk to each other, bicker over stupid stuff, and with our lack of "touching" each other - non-sexual touching. There's no hand holding anymore, no arm around the waist/back/shoulders, etc. I think that would go a long way in improving our marriage too.
Basically, we don't act like your parents, for lack of a better example. I know we're not your parents so everything about our marriage isn't going to be like theirs, but I wish it was more like theirs. The mutual respect, the desire to do things to make the other's life easier, the little things they do that solidify their relationship. That's what I want to see for us.
With the things above, I think our sex life would improve, too. I was actually going to initiate last night, but he's been working so incredibly much and on so little sleep that I thought it would be better to let him sleep.
Yo Jenn!! Have gone back a little ways & read up on ya. Wowzers on your picture!!! You are looking so good!! I'm inspired by your success so far!! The pics of your little ones are so cute! Sorry about the problems with your foot. Hopefully you will find the answers. That is so awesome that you are running! I can barely walk these days! lol.
Keep up the good work!!! Will check in again later.
Goal: Don't worry be happy!
Well, it's definitely a good beginning that you are talking to each other about your relationship, and that he started the conversation in the first place! It means you both care . Good luck!
OH! HOLY HOT DUDE at the gate this morning. It seems they've put a different guard at the gate and boy, is he fun to look at! *fanningmyself* He's a looker! Beautiful piece of manhood there! Ranks right up there with Hot Office Guy - it'd be a tough task to determine which one was hotter... hehehehehe (Geeeee, I'm beginning to think my hormones are finally getting righted!)
Day 1 of the Whole30 is in the books. I did well with no slips. I was tempted by Kenna's M&M's (potty training incentive!!) but didn't eat any. Had two BIG bowls of watermelon while my feet were stuck in an epsom bath.
Today is Day 2. I have an appt with The Princess of Pain this afternoon that I am NOT looking forward to. I know it's going to hurt and recently it hasn't been doing much good, so it seems like I'm subjecting myself to pain for nothing. I am going to ask her about Cold Laser Therapy today and see if she thinks that'll help. It's not covered by insurance, but she said it's only about $30 for a session and that's pretty much what I pay for the other stuff after insurance, so whatev... will try to remember to ask about acupuncture too - but I don't think they offer that there.
Brad asked about Whole30... asked if he should do it now and take a day off for his birthday or wait til after his birthday. I suggested he wait until after his birthday and "practice" until then by eating primally. I bet the pounds would just melt off him if he picked up Whole30 - and I bet a lot of his digestive issues and phlegm issues would go away as well. I hope he's serious about it and really gives it a shot. I'm rather excited about this! I know there's a hot dude under that protective cover!
We may have made a decision regarding how to spend some of the extra money from Brad's check. Our kids have NOTHING to play with in our backyard - I swear it. So, I think we're going to buy a trampoline and a swingset (nothing fancy, just an A-frame wood frame and a couple swings/slide). We still have the money set aside from the car accident that we were going to use for the swingset that we never bought, so we'll take that and a bit of Brad's overtime to hook the kids up with some backyard fun - maybe they'll stop going to MIL's every chance they get if they have something to do at home. The rest is going to be spent "responsibly" on an oil change for the truck (What the hell?? It cost $100 for an oil change on a diesel???), school registration, new clothes for the boy (I'll go to a second hand store most likely - need to go this weekend and take advantage of the Tax Free weekend!!), apply a little bit to the racecar debt, blah blah blah. I wish I was putting a huge chunk toward a credit card...
Oh joy! I just got an email indicating our furlough days might be reduced to either 6 or 8 total unpaid days. That'll free up some cash. That cash WILL be used toward household debt. No question. Reducing to 6 or 8 days will prevent us from losing vacation time too. Sweet! It'll really throw a wrench in my half marathon training though - no more fridays to run my miles. Speaking of half marathons - I contacted the director for the one scheduled for September 2. If I am not able to run it, I can defer my entry to next year and run it next year instead. That's mildy comforting.
Rambling... I suppose I'll go read some journals and maybe get to work.
somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug
What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony
Well, I thank you very much, kind Sir... now if you would simply direct him to frisk me, life would be ahhhh-mazing!