Page 320 of 584 FirstFirst ... 220270310318319320321322330370420 ... LastLast
Results 3,191 to 3,200 of 5833

Thread: My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal page 320

  1. #3191
    jenn26point2's Avatar
    jenn26point2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,774
    Primal Fuel
    Rant away... we all have reasons to rant at times and it needs to get out.

    I just feel like in the last year or so my relationships with everyone have started falling apart and that it's completely out of my control. My relationship with my mother-in-law has gone down hill since she found out she's got fibro. I can't pinpoint the time when the relationship with my SIL started to slide. Our relationship goes up and down... it's good most days, but drops others. And I don't know if my relationship with my husband has always sucked and I'm just starting to get fed up with it or if something happened to it along the way. I don't know if the problem is me as the common denominator or if it's something else.

    Quite honestly, it feels like since I discovered primal, my personal relationships have gone to shit, which is right about the time MIL found out she had fibro.

    But with all this crumbling around me I want to escape and get out. Abandon ship before it fully sinks and pulls me down with it, ya know? I've developed this feeling like I don't belong anymore. Like I don't fit in. Like everything is forced instead of natural anymore. I don't even like to be around them anymore b/c I don't feel like one of them like I did before. I used to hang out at MIL's house every night when Brad was on second shift - sometimes eat dinner with them. We're not even invited to dinner anymore.

    I don't know... is my depression not actually better and I still need meds or were the meds masking shitty relationships or making me a different person and now no one likes me? And if that's the reason, how do I fix it??

    Do I even WANT to fix it? It's a really weird limbo and I don't like it.

    Gawd, I need therapy... *sigh*
    Last edited by jenn26point2; 05-09-2013 at 10:02 AM.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  2. #3192
    InSearchOfAbs's Avatar
    InSearchOfAbs is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    NorCal
    Posts
    1,452
    OOh girrrl! I know this feeling you speak of, BOY DO I KNOW IT.

    And yeah, it IS rough, and a tough spot to get out of, but you will, I promise.

    In the meantime, book a trip to California and come play with me for a week.

    We can go hiking, you can have your own bedroom and a buncha other fun stuff.

    When you get home, at least Brad will be bowing to you the minute you walk in
    the door with the revelation of ALL YOU DO and what get's done by you ISN'T MAGIC.

    He'll forget about it in a month's time, but that's precisely the time to plan another
    trip to my house.

    Yes, that's it, monthly trips to California.

    See, I have it all figured out.

    Julia

  3. #3193
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is online now Moderator
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    12,144
    I think your final conclusion is a good one. Now sounds like a good time to hash it out with a pro and find out the root of things.

    Semi-related: are you still taking 5-HTP and feeling like you are getting any benefit from it?

    Sometimes things just suck, sometimes our brains are screwy, and sometimes it's both. What's most important is being able to deal with it. In the end, you CAN eliminate poisonous relationships in your life and forge new ones, but you can't do that without your head on right, you know?
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  4. #3194
    jenn26point2's Avatar
    jenn26point2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,774
    I am still taking 5-htp. 100 mg a night. Some days it helps, others it does not.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  5. #3195
    jenn26point2's Avatar
    jenn26point2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,774
    Quote Originally Posted by InSearchOfAbs View Post
    OOh girrrl! I know this feeling you speak of, BOY DO I KNOW IT.

    And yeah, it IS rough, and a tough spot to get out of, but you will, I promise.

    In the meantime, book a trip to California and come play with me for a week.

    We can go hiking, you can have your own bedroom and a buncha other fun stuff.

    When you get home, at least Brad will be bowing to you the minute you walk in
    the door with the revelation of ALL YOU DO and what get's done by you ISN'T MAGIC.

    He'll forget about it in a month's time, but that's precisely the time to plan another
    trip to my house.

    Yes, that's it, monthly trips to California.

    See, I have it all figured out.

    Julia
    That would be fun, but... money would prevent it from ever being a reality - at least for the next few years.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  6. #3196
    jenn26point2's Avatar
    jenn26point2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,774
    So, apparently I have been noticed at the gym by a rather attractive (although not my personality type at ALL) black man. He saw me coming up the steps to the gym today and opened the door for me. He said "I saw ya comin' and thought Ah here she comes! Rain, sleet, whatever, you be runnin'! You're a beast!" I respectfully disagreed with the beastmode comment, but said "yes, rain... whatever, I'll be running to the gym". He says "That's what makes you a beast!" With that I escaped into the girls locker room. When I left, he was STILL at the front door talking to the guy behind the counter and struck up conversation again, saying that he's noticed my progress and when he first noticed me, he thought I was just a new years resolutioner. I told him that I've been coming to the gym since 2010 and he said "me too, that's how I know what kind of progress you've been making. You're like the incredible shrinking woman." I thanked him for his kindness and headed out to finish my workout (the run back from the gym).

    I've noticed this guy in the gym before b/c he's the stereotypical obnoxious black jock. He plays basketball over lunch and when he's running up and down the court but doesn't have the ball, he yells "BRING THE PAIN". He's an attention getter and finds drama on the court all the time (this guy elbowed him, that guy stepped on his foot, etc), so he's not interesting to me except in an "OMG, there he goes again" kind of way, but it's still really cool to get noticed by him.

    Additionally, as I was walking out today, another guy commented "Nice shirt"... I was wearing a moisture wicking tech shirt with a mummy on the front from a cross country 15k I did in 2011. Not quite sure what that was supposed to mean, but *shrug*

    And when I got back to the office there was a Major manning the office (boss and the *hot guy* were in a meeting and the new big wig boss is supposed to be stopping by so the Major sat in to greet him if he arrived). He asked me how my run went and I told him I lifted today. We talked about that a bit, then he asked if I ever use instagram. I told him I haven't. He walked over to my desk and showed me a pic that was on his instagram account of him (this could be misconstrued as sexual harrassment, so I'm going to whisper), shirtless, doing pullups. The ripples on this guy's back *fanningmyself* Nice... Wouldn't mind rolling over and seeing something like that in the morning! Oy. Me thinks Brad really needs to start hitting the gym.
    Last edited by jenn26point2; 05-09-2013 at 01:36 PM.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  7. #3197
    canio6's Avatar
    canio6 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    S. Arizona
    Posts
    11,666
    Quote Originally Posted by jenn26point2 View Post
    He walked over to my desk and showed me a pic that was on his instagram account of him (this could be misconstrued as sexual harrassment, so I'm going to whisper), shirtless, doing pullups. .
    Reported.

    Ah, SHARP training to the rescue

    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  8. #3198
    Candy in Wonderland's Avatar
    Candy in Wonderland is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    1,011
    I'm so sorry that you're feeling the way,you are feeling and really sorry that your family is so inconsiderate! It's a shame we're separated by a big ocean. Because I'd be happy to be there for.you and keep an eye on your kids at the same time!!!
    My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
    My Blog: Candy in Wonderland
    Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
    Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

  9. #3199
    tomi's Avatar
    tomi is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Pacific NW
    Posts
    6,487
    Sometimes people just don't get how important things are to us - or they just don't care. Unfortunately both are true. My mom has 6 grandchildren, 4 great grandchildren. She can barely remember the names of her grandchildren, and doesn't even know the names of most of the great grandchildren. And she doesn't really care. In return, her grandkids dont' give a rats ass about her. My son has only her, all his other grandparents have passed away. So basically he has none as well. My sisters son stopped at my moms apartment to say hi, after a long time of not seeing her. When she opened the door she said, "can I help you?" .......... he was so hurt that she didn't recognise him, he said "sorry, wrong apartment" - and turned and left. How sad is that?

    It is what is it......... we just have to accept it.

    I was hurt for a long time that no one cared enough to come to my graduation - but after 13 years I realize that it really doesn't matter - it was a big deal to me at that time........ but now, its not worth geing hurt over. I just let it go.

    Sometimes it just sucks.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    Goals: Healthy mind, healthy body, happy soul.

  10. #3200
    jenn26point2's Avatar
    jenn26point2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,774
    Stepmom says that if the patient schedule doesn't fill up, she'll be able to get off work at 330 and be able to attend the hooding. She said she will get there RIGHT before the start, but at least she'll be able to come. She's going to let me know for sure tomorrow. Said she'll grab Dad and bring him too. I told her I would be willing to pick up Dad and take him with me, but she said that if she's able to come, she'd have to stop at home anyway (she's taking the truck to work but doesn't want to take it to Hooding - too expensive) so she'd just pick him up. Still waiting to see if he's planning to go even if she can't.

    If my stepmom can go, I'll be a happy happy girl.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •