What a sad sad day. I have been wracked with sorrow today - so much so that I broke down at the most inappropriate time. For two hours I watched as people close to the running community were carted away in wheelchairs and on stretchers after someone senselessly attacked them like a coward. I worried while I awaited word from a friend and mother to my son's classmate that she was ok. Come to find out, her 6 year old son and 8 year old daughter were with her enjoying the festivities that follow the Boston Marathon during the explosions. I followed this by attending the visitation of an 18 year old young man who died way before his time. During that visitation, I lost my composure more than once. I haven't seen this young man since he was 3 years old, but that didn't make it hurt any less.
I kept thinking about all the memories his mother is going to miss out on - hanging a picture from his senior prom on the wall, seeing him run onto the football field during his last season of high school football, watching him walk the stage at his high school graduation, marrying her son to his high school sweetheart, helping them move into a house together, being by their sides while they welcomed a new person into the world. All those things she'll no longer have the opportunity to experience because he crossed the center line on his way to school on a rainy Thursday morning.
I kept seeing Brady in all of his pictures. Skylar was a fun loving young man. He loved tractors and showing cows and pigs, wore Wranglers, camou and cowboy boots with his baseball cap. According to his obituary, he loved going mudding and had just recently bought a Harley Davidson motorcycle. He was the typical young Iowan. Country all the way. I saw Brady in every one of his pictures. He was everything I wish for Brady to become.
All of this was too much and on a couple of occasions I felt a panic attack spurring. When I finally reached the family, the panic attack came on full force and I lost my composure. I tried to hold it together, but I couldn't. I didn't like fall to my knees bawling or anything, but I could no longer control the tears. It made talking difficult. I don't think it was as bad as it seems b/c I remember talking to his aunt about babysitting him (that choked me up quite a bit). His mom... oh, I feel so terrible for her. Everyone knows that he is all she had. She has family (twin sister, mom, dad, etc), but none of that compares to your children. He was honestly the only thing she had. She was her everything. The pain she must be feeling right now. I can't even imagine. She seemed so numb and vacant. I can understand. I'm sure she's all cried out at this point. I do hope she's holding up well.
Me, I just feel like a fool for losing my bearing so badly tonight. I'm sure I wasn't the only one, and I'm sure they won't remember, but I still feel like it was uncalled for given our lack of relationship.
Anyhow, afterward I binged on sugar. I stopped at Walgreens. I got 2 almond joys and 2 bags of coconut m&m's. Also a mt. dew. I already had a headache thanks to the panic attack. I hate public displays of sorrow. Just an overly emotional day and a woman who reached her breaking point.
To make the night even worse, I discovered I royally screwed up with our checking account. We had money set aside in a checking account linked to paypal. When the guy who did our shirts sent us the invoice, I went into paypal to pay the bill and failed to select the correct account. So, the money came from our primary checking account instead of the account I intended it to come from. The results is $100 in overdraft charges and a returned check. Luckily, said returned check was for daycare services, so I called my SIL right away, explained what happened and told her I'd bring her cash tomorrow and asked her to let me know if it screws anything up. She says it'll be ok, so that's fortunate. Furlough funds are temporarily being used to cover the outstanding transactions. Brad will stop by the bank and withdraw the money I need to refund the furlough account. Just another stressful event in a day filled with stressful events.
So glad today is over...
Last edited by jenn26point2; 04-15-2013 at 08:41 PM.
GAH! Boss is working on my rating... I sooooooo don't want it. I know where my problem areas lie and I know what I need to do to fix them. I certainly don't need someone pointing out my flaws for me. I'll be very surprised if I leave the review feeling optimistic.
I think I just got a phishing call on my cell phone! I got a call telling me that I had an urgent message regarding my credit card. It said that my account is current and there is no problem with my card, but I should consider taking their call to take advantage of a lower rate as low as 6.9%. So, I took the bait knowing it was something I would NEVER give my info to. Some guy with a foreign accent answered and asked me if I was interested in lowering my rate on my credit card. I asked which card he was referring to and he said my Visa and Mastercard through Chase and Citibank. I don't have any Mastercards, and I don't have any cards through Chase. I told him I will contact the card carriers personally and he hung up on me. lol
Funny thing, my Citibank card has 0% interest on it... haha FOILED sucka!!
I'm pretty nervous about my own review next month. I have to fill out a self-assessment. Blah. I know I've been kind of slacking, but I don't want to straight up say "Sometimes I just don't do work". I hope it goes well for you!
Phew, nice work with the phisher! It's a good thing you know about your accounts. I can easily imagine someone going, "Hmm well I probably have a Mastercard!" Good for you for being well-informed.
Current interests - Starting Strength (reading it very slowly)
Sorry for all the sadness. I would have had an incredibly hard time at the memorial service too.
On a more positive note, I ordered my cap and gown yesterday!!!
$100 freaking bucks! I think once commencement is over, I'll post the danged thing for sale so that next year's grads can buy one cheap and I can get some of my money back.
Don't beat yourself up for showing emotion at the service. Yesterday was emotionally for everyone - and you had an even bigger load with all that you faced. I'm sure the family won't remember but even if they do, they will appreciate your sorrow and sympathy for their loss.
I binged on cheesecake yesterday. Just couldn't muster the will power to give a damn after what happened in Boston.
Today is a new day...............
Yesterday was pretty much the same way for me, Tomi. Boston and Skylar's death were just too much.
I am definitely planning a whole30 for May. No doubts about it.