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Thread: My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal page 286

  1. #2851
    tomi's Avatar
    tomi is online now Senior Member
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    Although I don't believe you are inclined to the option of a swat on the butt for bad behavior - I would agree that in this case it would probably not help at all.

    Perhaps an eval with a child psychologist would be the best place to start?

    I know you'll handle this well, you're not one to hide from issues that need to be addressed. We're all here when you need to vent and you already know we are full of advice!
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    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

    Goals: Healthy mind, healthy body, happy soul.

  2. #2852
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    Quote Originally Posted by tomi View Post
    Happy thought --- I tasted the Kerrygold............ OH MY GOSH!! it tastes like the butter I used to have at my grandma's house! REAL FULL FLAVOR BUTTER! I am forever ruined to the bland boring taste of ordinary butter! Honeybuns says Costco has it for a really good price right now - I'm thinking of making a small investment!
    I'm glad you like the butter. I'm sorry to say I've never seen Kerrygold butter at our Costco.

  3. #2853
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    I almost don't believe that his behavior is ODD related. Primarily b/c ODD children tend to ALWAYS be out of control. Brady's behavior is cyclical. He'll have two really really bad days, then the 3rd day he's an absolute angel, then it slowly starts to ramp up again to those two days of REALLY bad behavior. He has those two days maybe once every 5-7 weeks or so. Changing his diet didn't seem to help much. It lessened the severity of the not so bad but not angel days, but didn't stop the two climax days. It's almost like he works so hard to be good, but his mind can only handle so much and then he just bursts. My research hasn't come up with anything that addresses this.

    The behavioral specialist at the school is friends with us. She said Brady isn't what she would a behavioral issue child - just full of energy and no way to let it out during the day.

    At school, his teacher says he's an attention seeker. I agree with her. But I don't know why he's seeking attention b/c we give him plenty of attention. But he's ALWAYS talking and telling stories and wanting someone to pay attention to him. This is the kind of trouble he gets into at school - because his attention seeking behavior is distracting to the other kids at times.

    Friday, his aunt just said that he would NOT listen - which is typical of these two days. He'll do absolutely every single thing wrong and nothing you do or say to discipline him will change the behavior. He just has to get past that day. It's really weird.

    anyhow, today he was an angel. Did everything we asked, helped out, very agreeable, no whining or begging for things. When I left to get groceries he asked if he could go with. I said no that I was going without kids and he said "ok" and went back to playing like it was no big deal.

    RE: the car show - he made no mention of wishing he was there or showing that he was sad he wasn't there, etc. I don't think grounding him from the car show had any effect on him b/c today was like any other Saturday. Me and the kids hung out at home doing nothing special, just like a weekend where Brad's working and the kids and I are home doing nothing special. So, idk.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  4. #2854
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    Even if he's not ODD, there could be some management tips that are helpful for him. I seem to recall that you found some of the behavioral recommendations helpful before.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  5. #2855
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    Wish I had other suggestions. Poor guy. It must be frustrating to try so hard and then just lose it. Maybe increase his outside energy expenditure time?
    You know all those things you have always wanted to do? You should go do them.

    Nah.. I was always aware "they" were out to get me.. even before I became Primal..... Now I can just run faster if they find me-Dino Hunter

    Age 46
    height 5'3
    SW 215 lbs
    CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
    LW 172 lbs
    GW 125ish lbs

  6. #2856
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    We're signing him up for tee-ball in hopes that some extra-curricular sports will help.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  7. #2857
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    I know it may sound totally rinky dink, but a sticker reward system might work..... it's even
    working for my SOON TO BE 11yo.

    He's always been a good student and very respectful, and still is... HOWEVER, he's finally
    in with all the "popular boys" and talking waaaaay too much in class, so the teacher throws
    him out on the bench. Sometimes up to twice a day.

    I would know about it because his little brother goes to the same school and would see him
    on the bench when he was out at lunch or recess (staggered times between 2nd and 5th grade,
    so I have a spy).

    At first I was hella pissed, cuz this is new for Trevor, talking all the time and being the
    life of the party, IN CLASS. Not good.

    So, like you, I'd take stuff away - no TV, no DS, no computer, no electric scooter, no gokart...etc.

    He couldn't give two shits. And not even in a defiant way, but in the way, that he was just like
    "okay mommy!" GRRRRRR. Kinda made my blood boil! I woulda been hella pissed when I was a kid!

    Anyway, so I thought I'd go the Smarmy Gentle Parenting Route (which is SO NOT ME, cuz I am STRICT
    and MEAN) and do a sticker system.

    I thought for sure Trevor would look at me and go "mommy, relleh? stickers? r u serious?", but holy
    crap on a cracker, he LOVED IT.

    So, during the week, if he doesn't get kicked out of class, he gets a sticker on the calendar.

    At the end of the week if there are five stickers, then he gets to choose a SMALL SOMETHING to do... like
    frozen yogurt, a trip to the dollar store for ONE THING, or a walk to 7-11 for a couple of candies... he is
    VERY candy motivated (and he handles it well too, so there's that).

    It's been working like a charm and even his teacher pulled me aside to ask me what I'd been doing
    at home and I totally had to sheepishly say "um, er... stickers?"

    It just sounds so damn lame. SO LAME...but yanno, kids are more motivated to do something
    for good than for evil.

    So, take it with a itsy bitsy grain of salt, but you may want to give it a whirl.

    I know our kids are on opposite ends of the spectrum with their behavior, but it might work!

    Especially if there's something that Brady really, REALLY likes and could look forward to
    on a Friday.

    Anyway, good luck, I feel your pain.

    Julie

  8. #2858
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    Whatever works And maybe TeeBall will help. Team player, burn off energy etc. Good luck!
    You know all those things you have always wanted to do? You should go do them.

    Nah.. I was always aware "they" were out to get me.. even before I became Primal..... Now I can just run faster if they find me-Dino Hunter

    Age 46
    height 5'3
    SW 215 lbs
    CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
    LW 172 lbs
    GW 125ish lbs

  9. #2859
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    Julie, that is a great idea, but we've tried it. His school has a color system. For every day that you get a yellow (best behavior) you get a sticker on a calendar. If you get 5 days of yellow, you get to pick out of the prize box (usually something chinzy and cheap from Oriental Trading). Brady was consistently getting green (good), blue (ok) or red (unacceptable). He never got a week of yellow.

    So then, if he got green or yellow, she'd let him pick out of the box. That worked for about 2 weeks. Then it was no red equalled a prize. But again, only lasted for about a week. Now she just writes notes in a spiral notebook that describe how his day went b/c I felt the color system was really dragging him down mentally and emotionally. He kept coming home saying he was a bad kid b/c he couldn't get yellows at school. So she stopped using the color system.

    There is a note in the notebook every day that he needs constant reminders to stay on task, that he gets wound up and starts running around, thinks everything is a race and needs to be first in line, first to his locker, first to his cubbies, etc.

    He shows classic signs of ADD/ADHD, but the teacher is on our side regarding medication - absolutely not. But at the same time, she agrees that he has improved since the beginning of the school year, so maybe it's actually not ADD/ADHD and is just a maturity thing. My husband was held back in Kindergarten b/c this same teacher didn't think he was mature enough to go on to 1st grade. Brady's teacher has expressed concern that he's not ready for 1st grade and that 1st grade is way more intense than kingergarten - there won't be constant reminders, instructions are only given once, etc. This scares me. I don't want my son held back.

    But, on a positive note, she has put him in the Talented and Gifted Program for math! She said she would have for reading too, but she's only allowed to send two students per program (2 for reading, 2 for math) and had to keep it fair as Brady isn't her only bright student (her words).

    I suspect we'll be ok. The PE teacher acts as a guidance counselor as well and he sat in on our P/T conf. He said that Brady isn't the only child they're having these types of problems with, and he isn't the worst by far, that he's a good kid - nice and loving and super sweet, just doesn't *remember* the rules and needs reminders, and that we shouldn't get discouraged. We just need to consistently remind him of the rules until he starts to remember them on his own. We were so glad to sit down with the PE teacher b/c he made us feel so much better. The kindergarten teacher always makes us feel like our kid is terrible and will never make it.

    Hopefully he'll continue to improve and these completely uncontrolled days will become less frequent.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  10. #2860
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    Somehow I missed he is just in kindergarten. Sounds like it is possible he is just all boy. Sadly we have tried to beat that out of them in the public schools. He will be fine Mom. As much as possible just let him be outside and run.
    You know all those things you have always wanted to do? You should go do them.

    Nah.. I was always aware "they" were out to get me.. even before I became Primal..... Now I can just run faster if they find me-Dino Hunter

    Age 46
    height 5'3
    SW 215 lbs
    CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
    LW 172 lbs
    GW 125ish lbs

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