My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal page 204

[jenn26point2]

Someone gave me a nice recipe to try that includes salsa. I think I will try it... or make avo-egg salad tonight or something. I have some homemade mayo I need to use up anyway.

[jenn26point2]

Ok, so I just wrote this really long post about how I think my calories goals are jacked b/c I'm having trouble reaching my 10, 20, and 70 percent goals, then realized I'm a big bonehead and everything is perfect. Here is what I'm looking at for food today. Decided I wanted burgers for dinner.

Todays Meals.jpg

I like 1500 calories. It's comfortable for me. And according to MFP, if I keep this up, I should reach a weight of 190.5 in 5 weeks... HA! I fully anticipate that to happen WAY sooner than 5 weeks from now. LCHF Paleo/Primal kicks ass!

[jenn26point2]

*sigh* I just got an email from the Federal Employee union office. Looks like if Congress can't quit its bickering and get some damn work done, I'll be given some unpaid time off work (along with the rest of the government workforce). I am so frustrated with this Administration. And I'm not talking about the President b/c he doesn't get to sign anything into law until Congress agrees with it, so this is all on Congress and their stupid struggle to be the top dog. I can't wait until our Congress and President are the same party again... all this Republican vs Democrat shit is driving me batshit crazy. They can't get ANYTHING done b/c the other is more concerned about winning the battle than they are about taking care of their people.

Did you know that we haven't gotten a pay raise in 3 years, but Congress gets one each year?? They just got a 1.5% raise... Flipping backwards. I'm fine with not getting an anniversary pay raise... I just wish they weren't getting one either.

sorry. As a federal employee I'm not allowed to rant and complain about the government on a public forum, so I'll hush now. Just frustrated b/c even a 1 day furlough will hurt Brad and I significantly and it's stressing me the hell out.

[naiadknight]

I hear ya. I'll say what you can't: it's an elected position, meaning they CHOSE to do that and spent gobs of money to get there. They shouldn't be paid AT ALL (or minimum wage.) The fact that their pay raises always go through, even when folks like you and me hafta go on unpaid leave or pay outrageous taxes shows just how fucked up this shit is. Tell them their paychecks are as guaranteed as the SS check or they're going on unpaid leave and watch how fast this shit'd get fixed.

[jenn26point2]

I hear ya. I'll say what you can't: it's an elected position, meaning they CHOSE to do that and spent gobs of money to get there. They shouldn't be paid AT ALL (or minimum wage.) The fact that their pay raises always go through, even when folks like you and me hafta go on unpaid leave or pay outrageous taxes shows just how fucked up this shit is. Tell them their paychecks are as guaranteed as the SS check or they're going on unpaid leave and watch how fast this shit'd get fixed.

+1

[jenn26point2]

Brad and I discovered we spend 10% of our gross income on childcare...

[naiadknight]

Brad and I discovered we spend 10% of our gross income on childcare...

Yikes. That's heinous, especially for the minimum wage most childcare people are paid.

[jenn26point2]

My next stressor... this Turn 3 tax stuff. We claimed $24,000 in expenses last year b/c we had all the start up costs (printer, inventory, computer, etc, etc, etc). Then we turned around and sold it all for $14,000 b/c that's what we still owed on it all. We made no money on the business. I think we're going to be hurting b/c of selling it. I guess we'll see, but it's a stressor for me. He's not allowed any further business ventures, ever.

[jenn26point2]

Ugh... looking into this deeper, I see we have to show who bought our equipment, for what price, etc. I'm not sure how the other guy plans to claim this stuff for tax purposes, but there is no documentation to support the sale on our end (except bank records, I suppose)... I think we need to see an accountant for this. Or someone at HR Block... I don't want the IRS to think we pocketed the money we got for selling this stuff b/c we didn't... each dime went to pay off what we could in business expenses (printer was on lease, personal loan at bank to cover inventory costs, etc). I hate taxes...

[jenn26point2]

WARNING: BRAIN DUMP

Paula inspired me with her goals:

I plan to emulate her goals, but of course, personalize them for me.

Exercise 5x per week
My gym membership is free at the gym at work, so I might as well just use it.

Follow our budget. Work to remain in the black each week.
Our bank never sees the red, but I do. I need to... correction, WE need to stop the extra unnecessary spending that puts us in the red each week.

Purge one room of the house monthly.
Donate all that stuff to Salvation Army. Make one drop per month.

Strive to live grain and sugar free.
I love this. It's positive. But it will probably be the hardest one of them all.

I think I need to add to this... but to be honest, two of these items will help fix the one I'm thinking of right now.

Brad and I were chatting via text, about sex of course, and how it's such a great stress reducer... I told Brad that it's not such a great stress reducer for me b/c as soon as it's over, my brain goes back to what was stressing me. He said he was sorry, and not knowing what to say back, I just said nothing...

That being said, I felt that my next goal should be working on stress reduction... but how... typical "stress reducing activites" like sex, long hot baths, watching "check your mind at the door" movies, etc, don't work for me b/c they're short term.

So, this made me think of what those stressors are that I instantly go back to once my "stress reducing activities" have concluded... they include the amount of work around our house that needs to be completed (cleaning, purging, straightening, overall appearance, my wish to repaint, honey-do items, etc) and our tight finances. Of course, I also get overwhelmed by my kids and what seems to be constant demands for food or drink or attention or a television channel change or permission to play the Wii, etc, when I'm trying to do something constructive, like make dinner or clean the house or enjoy some down time (I guess that one's not so constructive), etc. That last part, the kids' demands, isn't going to change until they're old enough to fend for themselves (while I want to keep my kids little, I can't wait til they're a little more independent and trustworthy - Brady's getting there).

That being said, the stress will reduce once the stressors go away... once the fianancial tightness goes away, I'll feel better. Right now, I feel like I'm constantly juggling bills and paychecks trying to get it all to fit with the least amount of hardship on us during the week, and there is absolutely ZERO wiggle room for anything that might come up unexpectedly, or for any fun thing we may want to do on a whim. And now with the potential for a furlough in the future and the looming cloud of income taxes with the purchased and then immediately sold business venture, I'm on high alert in regard to our finances. I don't want to screw things up and I don't want to end up hurting and begging our creditors for mercy. The realization of this goal is in the works, but we really need to stop spending outside our budget b/c the whole going over the limit each week is getting old and isn't helping anything (I've developed a knack for keeping ourselves out of trouble with the bank (no bounced checks, etc), but it's getting kind of old).

Additionally, the stressors revolving around the never ending household requirements won't go away until we develop a system to keep them from occurring - for instance, laundry, picking up the house, sinks full of dishes, clutter, etc. I'd love to have the same feeling walking into my house that I have walking into my MIL's or SIL's house - everything is neat and tidy in their houses - and not b/c they don't have kids b/c SIL has a 3 year old boy, but b/c they both work to keep it that way. They have systems and routines in place. At MIL's house, when FIL gets off work, he comes in the house, changes out of his work clothes (unless he's going to be working in the garage), starts a load of laundry and a load of dishes if needed. If not, he'd put the clean ones away. When MIL worked, she would then come home, put the washed dishes away, and swap the laundry to the dryer (and start another load if necessary). It's my understanding that they washed a daily load of clothes regarless of how small and once a week MIL would fold them. That laundry system probably works great for people who don't have kids, or someone who has only two pairs of work pants (i.e. me!!).

At SIL's house, BIL is a clean freak, so they are constantly picking up and putting things away, and weekly SIL will do a bigger clean like mopping the floors and vacuuming. I swear, their house is NEVER a mess. Same with MIL's. Always clean and tidy.

The biggest difference is that there isn't shit laying all over. There's not too much stuff in their house, like there is in ours. We have the appropriate amount of furniture to keep us comfortable, but it's too much for our house. Our tv stand does NOT need to take up an entire wall in our living room!! Our dining room is filled to the brim with buckets and totes of toys, as well as a full size table. The kids' rooms are cluttered and disorganized as well. We have used laundry scattered throughout b/c no one picks up after themselves. We kick our socks off and don't put them in the hamper right away... or Brad changes clothes in the morning (in our living room) and leaves his underwear on the floor by the couch (yes, this is for real). People come to our house and the first thing they see is a kitchen piled up with dirty dishes and unsorted mail (mostly junk), unfolded laundry piled high in the dining room, toys with no home and Brad's freaking underwear on the living room floor... I need an intervention!! Please, one of those home improvement shows NEEDS to come to my house and help me out!! It's getting out of control!! I try. I really do. I occasionally take a couple days off work to clean the house, but it never stays b/c after my marathon cleaning, I'm exhausted and don't keep up with it and no one else in the house is trained to help me keep up with it. I think this is the way Brad and SIL were raised though b/c BIL always jokes that you never have to guess where SIL has been b/c she leaves a trail of stuff behind her - but he's done a nice job of making her as anal as him from what I can tell b/c I never see a trail of stuff... MIL also tells stories about how you couldn't walk in her room without shoes growing up for fear of stepping on something and getting hurt. Makes me think that they had little to no responsibilities when they were young. Brad used to be more adamant about having a clean house, but we fought about it a few times and he's laxed up and is now just as bad as me when it comes to picking up after ourselves - hence the underwear on the floor...

And I know it's just a matter of staying on top of it, but when you throw in that I'm the only one who does ANY dishes in the house (Brad says dirty dishes make him gag ), I'm the one who makes dinner, I'm the one who bathes the kids, I'm the one who puts them to bed, and I'm the one who (for the most part) does laundry (well, he'll wash and dry, but that's it), coupled with the fact that I get home late each night (between 5:30 and 6 pm), staying on top of it is next to impossible.

Don't get me wrong... there is plenty of time to get it done (I spend a lot of time reading and playing on facebook each night) but I have absolutely ZERO mental energy to tackle it all, and zero mental energy translates into zero physical energy.

It's the same complaint every month... Occasionally, I'll take some time off work or use a holiday to straighten up and do a good cleaning, but it never remains...

So, I think I need to introduce some new routines into our lives. Something that will help us keep the house picked up and not in a state of CHAOS (can't have anyone over syndrome - a FlyLady thing). And we need to purge purge purge!!

I'll be working on this goal over the next week or two. Figuring out how to work the system. I'm thinking washing, drying and folding one load of laundry a day (like Brad's on Monday, Mine on Tuesday, Kids on Wednesday, Towels on Thursday, Bedding on Saturday, etc), dishes daily (except the only problem here is that I usually have too many dishes for one load which is where I get lazy - I just don't wash the second load til the next day, which creates a backlog of unwashed dishes). I need to pick a day to take the two boxes of unshredded "needs shredded" mail to my mom's and put it in the burn barrel and just burn it... shredding it at this point would require an industrial shredder and might even burn up the motor in it due to sheer quantity.

I need to create a system, a plan, and implement it. And I go to Muscatine weekly, so there's no reason I can't take a box of stuff to the Salvation Army every week before I pick up groceries.

So, yeah, I'm working on my plan that encompasses all of the non-diet related, non-exercise related goals above... If you're still with me, thanks for letting me do a brain dump on you.