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Thread: My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal page 189

  1. #1881
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    I think I have my paper done. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I think I brought in examples from previous projects too much, but it is what it is and I'm not going to stress over it anymore. I'd like to get an A in this class, but after learning there is no honors program with the graduate level degrees, I'm not as worried about my GPA anymore.

    My presentation kicks ass though.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  2. #1882
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    Paper is done. And submitted. Presentation is submitted. Now I just have to give a 10 minute spoken presentation to the class and I am done with my project (as far as class is concerned, anyway... the actuall project will require a lot of months of work before it's completely finished).

    YAY!
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  3. #1883
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    So good that you are finished with that! Doesn't it feel good. I love the feeling of finishing a project. And checking it off my list.

    Not going to address the other topic, because there's just too much to say, but sometimes just letting those feelings out, and knowing there are others caring, too, can help. Those poor little girls.

  4. #1884
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    Jenn, congrats on your weight loss, your son's improving behavior and ultimately health, and on finishing your paper and presentation.. Sorry about your job. Hopefully it will improve or you will find a better one. Admin jobs are hard for thinkers. I find some of the tasks below my skill set and talent and am struggling to rise out of that type of work. What is your degree in? Hopefully it will lead to new things.

  5. #1885
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenn26point2 View Post
    I'm so sorry, Tomi. I lost my first pregnancy at 6 weeks. They called it a chemical pregnancy. The hormones were there, but the cells didn't do their jobs. I was thankful that I lost the pregnancy at 6 weeks and not later. I'm so terribly sorry you had to endure such a loss. I can't even imagine what that must have been like, but it is most certainly a pain I don't wish on even my least enjoyed person (can't say enemy b/c I don't feel I really have any enemies).

    I hear your argument about God and will accept your argument as logical in theory. I just still have a really hard time believing. My analytical brain makes it very difficult to believe in something that can't be proven or disproven, ya know?
    It was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. I wanted a baby so bad! And then my body just spit them out....... I went through some very dark self hate and mixed up thinking. I mean, first my body wouldn't give me a baby - and then when it did - it took them away from me! I went through a mind/body separation to deal with the pain. I saw myself as separate from this imperfect body that would reject my babies - I knew I was going down the wrong mental path when I reached for my brush in the bathroom and was startled because I didn't know it was my hand reaching. At that point I knew I had to deal with my loss in a more healthy way and I worked through it. Years later I discussed this event with a counselor and he told me I was very fortunate to have the capacity to see that my thinking was skewed. He told me if I hadn't straightened out that path of thinking I would have ended up in a mental institution. Scary what the mind can do.

    As for proving or disproving God................ thats why they call it FAITH . For me, though, the proof is in everything I see and hear and smell and touch and taste. The world and all things in it are so intricately created I don't believe in a New York second that all this perfection came from random selection. I believe it was devine design. How is it possible that just by accident our planet earth is the perfect distance from the sun to maintain the proper temperatures? That the moon is the perfect distance from the earth to maintain the tides? How is it that a sperm and an egg from every individual species will find each other at just the perfect time and create a new life? How is it that my body knows how to breath in and process molecules of air, that is perfectly suited to all living things? How is it that every living thing has its own DNA signature? Random selection couldn't possibly create such diversity and perfection. And when push comes to shove and I have to base it all on blind faith...... I'd rather believe and be wrong ---- then NOT believe and be wrong. I mean - if you believe and are wrong - what have you got to lose? But if you don't believe and are wrong............ oh boy - I don't want to be on that bus!

    Anyway --- thats my take on it.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    Weight goals:
    Highest weight: 216
    Current weight: 189 (7-16-14)
    Goal weight: 140

  6. #1886
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    Congrats on the project completion, Jenn!

    I'm with Tomi on this one. If God prevented us from doing bad things, we wouldn't be free. We would just be computer programs, running our codes. And freedom isn't real if you don't have real choices with real consequences. Unfortunately, our bad choices can and do affect others. C.S. Lewis (yes, the Narnia guy) wrote a great book on this subject, The Problem of Pain. He was great for tackling hard questions straight on.

    Don't live in fear for your children. One of the worst things we can do for our kids is swaddle them. Believer or not, statistically, the chance of anything happening is very, very low. We avoid needless risk, absolutely, but kids have to live their lives.

    My oldest son lived with a roommate whose older brother had died at the age of ten. After that, his parents turned into super-helicopter parents. When he went off to college, they even drove into town every week to do his laundry. This kid could not handle any kind of stress or setback. He would get suicidal over bad grades. He had no skill set for handling any kind of adversity, because his parents had handled everything for him. Street-proof your kids, and let them play outside.
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

  7. #1887
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kymma View Post
    Jenn, congrats on your weight loss, your son's improving behavior and ultimately health, and on finishing your paper and presentation.. Sorry about your job. Hopefully it will improve or you will find a better one. Admin jobs are hard for thinkers. I find some of the tasks below my skill set and talent and am struggling to rise out of that type of work. What is your degree in? Hopefully it will lead to new things.
    Ditto on the congrats!

    I also feel that my job is below my abilities and so not utilizing my talents! I have a degree in Psychology - and I'm doing p/t admin. assistant work. I used to practically run the office........ then I left for a few years due to health issues. Now I'm assisting the guy that runs the office. Its okay. I don't want all that responsibility anymore - or the long hours! But I sometimes think I'm wasting my talents and strengths at this job.

    You'll find something better suited to your needs and interests and talents as long as you keep looking and are open to new opportunities You're a smart girl!
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    Weight goals:
    Highest weight: 216
    Current weight: 189 (7-16-14)
    Goal weight: 140

  8. #1888
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kymma View Post
    Jenn, congrats on your weight loss, your son's improving behavior and ultimately health, and on finishing your paper and presentation.. Sorry about your job. Hopefully it will improve or you will find a better one. Admin jobs are hard for thinkers. I find some of the tasks below my skill set and talent and am struggling to rise out of that type of work. What is your degree in? Hopefully it will lead to new things.
    Kymma, I have my bachelors in business management and am working on finishing up a master's degree in organizational leadership. I will be done, with any luck and newfound ability to keep myself on task and not procrastinate, come May 2013.

    There are a lot of organizations in the area that pay for this type of degree (mine, John Deere, and others that I forget at this time) so I know I can take my degree places, but without the experience needed, I'd have to start at the entry level. Honestly, I get paid very well for what I do (ridiculously well, actually) and have grown accustomed to this salary and given mine and my husband's financial state (all b/c we spent within our means instead of well below our means), we now rely on this salary to remain afloat. I'm working diligently on our debt, but it's not going away fast enough so I can't take a lower paying job. Besides, when Brad was promoted, he lost 13 cents an hour after they gave him his pay raise and then took away his shift premium since he'll no longer be working swing. So, his checks will be going down a little bit, not much, about $10 a pay period (gross pay) but $10 is $10...

    The problem I see here is that there are no positions I'm eligible for. There's a rank structure here based very loosely on the military rank structure. I'm currently a GS-08, which equates to an Army E-6. To get a different job, I have to find another GS-08 position (which are ALL secretarial jobs with no promotion potential) or find a GS-09 position (similar to an Army E-7 position), of which there are few and they're currently all filled. The plus is that they're creating some new GS-13 and GS-14 positions, which would give people 1 rank lower the opportunity to possibly move up, which would create a domino effect of people moving up, which would *hopefully* open up a couple of GS-09 positions I could put in for. As a veteran with 50% disability and a background in Army supply, I could possibly land one of them. I hope, I hope, I hope. By that time, I'll be done with my degree, so that'll certainly help.

    On the weight loss front... I'm stuck. 188 today. Day 13 of my Whole30 and I've lost 3 lbs... that have stayed gone. So, I've been doing some thinking about what worked before and why it worked. Remember, the first two Whole30's I did, I lost 20 lbs each!! So... I was trying to remember what was different... the biggest thing I can see that's different is that I was walking then. 45 minutes 5x a week. I haven't been walking... probably not since September b/c I started dabbling in running again. The other thing I did before that I don't do now is track my macros. So, that's what I'm going to start doing again.

    I REALLY need to decide if I want to run anymore. And by run, I mean participate in half marathons and what-not. Maybe that's something I should wait on until after I've lost the weight so it doesn't interfer with my losses. You know, one thing at a time... There's nothing saying I can't sprint occasionally - 2 miles a couple times a week will be fine, I'm sure. But I need to improve my movement.

    Plus, with working on my thesis starting in January, training for half marathons might not be a good idea. Too much going on. I'll have my final class and my thesis to work on this spring, and once that's over, I can train for whatever I want and not get bogged down too much. That'll give me another 6 months to lose the weight and truly convert myself to a fat burner instead of a sugar burner.

    Ok, decision made... lose the weight, then focus on running. To get the weight loss going again, I'll start out with a Whole30 in January (official one taking place at Whole9 | Paleo Nutrition, Nutrition Workshops, Nutrition for Health and Fitness Facilities, and the Original Whole30 Program, Designed to Change Your Life in 30 Days starting January 1... check it out!) and track macros while I'm doing it. Hopefully I will be able to make some headway with it if I'm controling the macros. I know that Primal says you don't have to track, but on some level it does make a difference. Especially if you're not moving. And I have no idea how much I'm actually consuming right now, which I'm sure is a big factor. But again, I'll deal with that after the holidays are over.

    Christmas shopping with Brad tomorrow. I actually feel a little comfortable with where we stand with the Christmas finances. Of course, anything dealing with money drives my anxiety up, but I think we have a nice cushion for Christmas. We have a few family members to finish up, but otherwise we'll probably be focusing on our kids tomorrow. The only problem is that we have to go to Iowa City for one person to go to Scheel's and get a gift card (MIL wants gift cards so she can buy a new Iowa Hawks coat), but ToysRUs is in Davenport... we live right smack dab between the two cities... Not sure where we'll end up going to. Probably Davenport b/c Brad will want to shop for the kids and no one else. *sigh* I wish I was further along with this shopping. I'm normally not this far behind. I'm usually done and wrapping presents right now. I haven't wrapped a single present yet... *sigh*

    My birthday's coming up too... I think I'm going to buy all my new clothes in a size 12... I don't want to buy any 14's and shrink out of them in a month... so I'll probably get all my clothes in a 12 and then hit Goodwill or something for a couple pairs of 14s that I won't feel bad about passing on. Or get a pair or two from walmart... I don't mind growing out of $20 jeans...

    Ok, that's enough rambling for now. I hope everyone has a good Friday.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  9. #1889
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    Also, remember that when you lost those first two sets of 20, you had a chunk to lose. The closer you get to your goal weight, the slower it goes. I would try to consider those as flukes, and not what you should expect in the future.

  10. #1890
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    I don't expect to lose 20 lbs each time I do a Whole30... but in August I didn't lose a single pound when I did my most recent one. I was hoping to at least get back down to my low of 184 this time, which would have only been a 7 lb loss for the month, most of which should be water weight. I'm currently 44 lbs overweight. I wouldn't have expected it to come to a complete halt after 40 lbs, even if it does slow the closer you get, ya know?
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




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