My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal page 120

[jenn26point2]

I don't mind if you post in Dutch... unless you want me to know what's going on, that is. lol I could just message them to you if you want to message me. my FB account can be found here: www.facebook.com/jstyler3b

[tomi]

I'd like to have the links thank you!

You're doing the right thing by letting go of trying to help MIL when she obviously isn't looking for any help. Like my sister, who is 400 pounds, and can barely function due to the weight, the pain, stiffness and fatigue. And then the brain fog! I thought I could be an example for her - show her what is possible by cleaning up the diet and actually moving my body even when I don't want to. But, now she says - "well, I've had this thing for 10 years longer than you have so there is much more damage". Whatever...... Stay in your miserable state and watch me run circles around you! Makes me mad that she would choose to stay in that pit of pain and dispair when there is another option. No, its not easy to completely change the way you eat and see food --- and to force yourself to get outside and walk when its so much easier to sit on the couch and eat oreos - spiking your already diabetic bloodstream with sugar! Further killing your pancrease. Whatever. Yes, I still get angry about it - but its her life, and I need to respect that she must live with the choices she makes. I can't force her to get well, even though I have the formula. She's 66 years old, and I don't expect her to do anything except try to lose some weight with CW - on her diabetic diet that still allows for too many carbs. Honestly I expect her heart will give out in the near future. Its sad........ but its her life.

[KimT]

I would be interested in the links too. Always looking for information.

I think, as sad as it is to say, that some people do enjoy being sick. They like the attention and excuses. They don't know how to relate in any other way. They want the sympathy. The girl I worked with would have a splint on a wrist one week, a sling on a shoulder the next, a brace on her ankle after that. It was constant. She would drag around like she was near death. I understand, I've been there, although I have been accused of not truly having fibro too.

I found that I NEEDED to move. I started doing Kung fu and Muay Thai kickboxing at my heaviest weight of 230 after I was told to walk and do water aerobics, which did nothing for me and even made me worse at times. I found that I loved to hit pads and do knife drills and forms and figured I was in pain if I did classes, or didn't do classes, so I chose to move. That was before dietary changes.

Anyway, the girl would ask for links, I'd send them, months later she'd ask again, I'd send it, and on and on. I got healthier in front of her, dropping 55 pounds (I didn't stay that low), working out, feeling great, but she wallowed in the misery, pain, horrible weight gain (probably 80 pounds while I worked there), and said she couldn't change her eating.

I think people that have been ill for so long can't imagine life without the illness. It's scary. Who will they be? They won't have an excuse to not be active. They won't have pity and attention. They can't wrap their head around something so completely opposite of who and what they have become.

Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled journal! Which I still stalk and enjoy!

[KimT]

I'll message you on FB if you prefer to send the links there.

[Judg]

KimT is really on to something. It's like excons who re-offend deliberately to get back to the only environment they know how to function in. I've seen people do that in other ways too. Succeeding means taking personal responsibility, launching into the unknown, FACING THE POSSIBILITY OF TRYING AND FAILING, when they have life as it is all figured out. That can be very scary for people. People in general, especially after becoming adults, actively resist change until the status quo has become too painful to bear. It has been a huge battle for me to at once learn to live with the limitations of chronic fatigue and yet not accept them as inevitable. If I don't accept the limitations, I push too hard and do more damage than good. If I do accept them, I am doomed to never get better. The space between the two is very narrow. And maybe these people are facing their own psychological tightrope. If they're not even conscious of it, it is that much more frightening, so they retreat into the known.

[tomi]

Judg - I'm right there with you on trying to find the balance. I want so much to be able to do whatever my heart desires and not be limited by the impending pain and fatigue! I'm not there yet - but hopeful that as I continue to eat properly, and move in a way that is respectful to my needs I will keep getting better. The past 2 days I over did a little so today is rest and recovery day. Tomorrow I will venture out and walk again.

We all must deal or not deal with what life gives us in our personal way.

[marcadav]

Tomi, if I may, I think you increased your walking distance too much, too soon. When I started I began with 5 minutes/day and increased by minutes not miles. So, I would suggest if you are comfortable walking one mile then just add a few more minutes to that mile. After a few days, if no discomfort, add a few more minutes. Just keep adding a few minutes every few days or once a week. Before you know it you will be doing your 3 miles, comfortably.

[tomi]

Jenn - sorry for highjack........

Marcadav --- you're right. I tend to dive in rather than wade in! I too started with a 5 minute walk and worked my way up to 2 miles. I jumped to the 3 miles only to fullfill my desire to walk for 5 hours a week. I could walk slower and go less distance. But I walk at a comfortable pace. I was shocked to see that I had walked from Wallace House Park to Cummings Elementary and back in 1 hour! And today I'm taking it easy........ Thanks for the concern and guidance - I will take it easier tomorrow and cover less distance for sure!

OKAY - Jenn........... back to you!

[Sabine]

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." -Marianne Williamson

We know how to be sick/fat/afraid/whatever. Being healthy/strong/brave/whatever is too overwhelming for some of us. And all of us, sometimes. I am just glad that I am doing a little better, bit by bit. I try to be compassionate...but it can be hard!

[jenn26point2]

My boss's flight should be landing any minute now, and then he'll be coming into the office... I wonder if he'll say anything remotely close to an apology...

Busy day today. I have GOT to finish up this paper, so I'm not going to be here. I must restrain myself and stay away from the message boards today. I MUST get this paper done!! I don't want to be working on it this weekend. So, with that, ladies (and any gents), I bid you a good weekend.

(Yeah, right... who am I kidding?? I'll pop in at least two more times. lol)