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Thread: My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal page 113

  1. #1121
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    And then the shoe drops... I posted an article on facebook and forgot to log out when I finished, so Brad noticed I was online and messaged me. He was all like, 'you should come home and we could spend the whole day in bed' blah blah blah... of course, I'm at work, he has zero vacation time left for the year, etc, so there's no way it was going to happen. He makes a snide comment about how "it wouldn't happen even if it was possible". Another underhanded jab at me for not having a libido... If you recall, I've been working on FIXING that problem by fixing my diet, getting off antidepressants and considering getting off birth control, taking specific vitamin combinations that are supposed to help, etc. I firmly believe the issue is a hormone imbalance, which could be caused by the high dose progesterone birth control I take. I bring up birth control again and he spouts off by saying "Fine. Get off bc, I'll use the damn condoms. whatever it takes to fix this problem b/c I can't go on like this anymore". Seriously?? You can't go on without having sex every flipping day??? this is EXACTLY what I was afraid would happen by him taking testosterone supplements. I KNEW this was going to happen.

    I am beyond frustrated with this discussion! His snide comments about how sex doesn't happen in our house, blah blah blah really bother me. I didn't CHOOSE to have my libido jacked up. I didn't CHOOSE to have no desire. If it was possible to chose, I would choose for mine to match his in a heartbeat! But he makes it out like it's my choice to not want it... and then gets mad when I do it anyway to please him b/c he says it's not about pleasing him, it's about pleasing me... well, what if I don't want to be pleased???

    I can see this problem leading to devastating ends... honestly, I do. He's so impatient and non-understanding and non-compassionate/considerate about my feelings with this. He always gets angry about it instead of considering how this whole problem makes me feel. He thinks it's him - like his body or something. It's not. Truly, it's not. I just have no interested in it...

    He always brings up "back then" when we used to have sex all the time... yeah, that happens in new relationships. It's a cycle I've seen occur with me before... relationship is new, sex all the time, relationship gets older, sex all but stops. Both times, I was on the same birth control. Both times I had zero desire to have sex. Both times, the guy got pissed every time I turned it down so it turned into a "do it so he doesn't pissed" thing.

    At least I got him to agree to let me discontinue the birth control... maybe that will help. God, I hope it helps. I can't handle having this same argument all the time.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  2. #1122
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    Rant directed at your husband- Warning: skip it if you are of the 'I can criticize him, but no one else can' variety

    I know it is likely a hormonal thing for you, but I would POUNCE on his 'whatever it takes' statement, and tell him to put up or shut up. When I read about what you do in a day, I am boggled. Stress definitely impacts hormones.

    How about he takes over the housework, and the financial worries, oh, and finds and pays for a babysitter out of his allowance whenever he goes racing so you can enjoy watching him, or just being on your own?

    If he thinks it is his body, why doesn't he address that (regardless of whether it is or not) with food/exercise/sleep instead of trying to make it about you 'rejecting' him?

    And how about some affection without expectation of sex? When you are relaxed and feeling loved (instead of picked on) it is easier to want it, even when your hormones aren't doing their bit. Seems to me that your husband needs to grow up a bit.

    Rant over

    I'm sorry you are going through this, Jenn. It sounds dreadful.

  3. #1123
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    Okay --- I do have to agree with that ^. I'd also jump on the "whatever it takes" statement. Maybe he needs to be shaken out of his "poor me" mindset and realize the problem is a "joint" issue, and its not all about him? Not to say he doesn't also work hard and is tired at the end of the day - but it does sound like you carry the majority of the burden on the homefront.

    How did the housecleaning and organizing go over the holiday weekend? Did he help you?

    Have you talked to the doctor about checking your hormone levels to see if things are outta whack?

    I'd be ditching the bcp and buying condoms AND a spermicide on the way home from work. The last thing you want right now is an unplanned pregnancy. Maybe ask doc about an IUD until you are ready for another baby?

    Hoping you're day is on the upswing....... {hugs}
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  4. #1124
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    Thanks Sabine... it's like I was speaking to him...

    Tomi, he did help this weekend. On Monday I started unloading the dishwasher (again b/c yet again, he hadn't done it yet - I did it 6 times after he said he'd take that over) and he started getting the broken recliner ready to go out the door. I simply mentioned that a lot of stuff needed to happen in the living room before the couch could be brought up and he snapped at me about waiting til the last minute to do things and then ensued the pissiness I enjoyed for the next 3 hours. He and the kids picked up the living room while I moved furniture and vacuumed. Then he moved on to the bedroom, the whole time fighting with our son to help. At one point, I finally said to him "why don't you stop being so pissy?" and he said something about someone else making him pissy. I responded with "you make your own mood what it is". He muttered something about how that isn't how it works but then he stopped being so harsh with Brady and started talking to me better (not to mention saying that helped MY mood). At the point where this whole thing started, I had reserved myself to not having a clean house before the weekend ended so accusing me of waiting til the last minute was obsurd. I was simply doing the dishes for the 2nd time that day.

    We managed to get the living room cleaned and the couch put in place (we now have two couches in our living room... I'm not sure I like the layout, but it'll do for now) and our bedroom cleaned up nicely. It had been taken over by our kids and contained more toys that adult stuff, two bean bag chairs and a pile of blankets, and a bunch of other crap.

    Since then, he has unloaded the dishwasher, cleared the counter where he tosses stuff when he comes in, took all the garbage out to be picked up (recently I had been setting it by the curb), and washed/dried all the laundry.

    Today our argument about sex... which was pretty typical. But, Sabine responded to that rather effectively. It's just frustrating and annoying to have the same discussion all the damn time. My response is always the same... I wish I did, but I don't. Be patient while I continue to work on it.

    This freaking testosterone bullshit is not making this any easier either. Now he NEVER leaves me alone. It's so annoying!

    I'm not saying that I don't have problems (communication being number one) that need fixed in the course of correcting the course our marriage seems to be taking, but I feel he's got some significant work to do too. He needs to be more considerate (the other day I was watching a show on DIY, he came in the house, flopped down and immediately changed the channel... um, excuse me, I was watching that!), I don't feel he helps out enough around the house (which is evidenced by his staring at his computer screen while I'm unloading and reloading the dishwasher, making dinner and trying to please two kids by providing drinks and snacks and changing the channell, all of which he could be doing to help out), I think he's pissy too often, spiteful, and resentful and all of this is making me resentful. I think he needs to work on listening skill, patience and compassion as well... I'm sure these were all character flaws that were there when I married him, but I didn't notice them then... Now that I'm the mother bear protecting the den, I notice things I didn't notice before. I'm starting to dislike people I used to like a lot b/c as my drugs wear off, I see what they're really like. DH and I had a running joke that the only way we could tolerate each other was if we were heavily medicated and stopping our medication was grounds for divorce... That was supposed to be a joke, but even so, it's a bad joke.

    I feel like he's resentful b/c I'm making changes in my life and maybe he feels he's being left behind? Maybe he feels jealous of my changes? I don't know. The waters have been rough for a while (the tone used when speaking to each other, sex, etc), and I hope to hell we can fix it.

    No one ever said marriage would be easy, but I never expected it to be spiteful and resentful... I try to do my best to go out of my way to be nice. Setting things out for him, getting things for him that I know he wants but hasn't gotten up to get himself, etc, just doing nice things to be helpful.

    Anyhow, the animosity and spitefulness and resentment (whatever is causing it - most likely this sex issue) need to go or our marriage is not going to make it.
    Last edited by jenn26point2; 09-05-2012 at 02:09 PM.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  5. #1125
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    Ok... I feel better today after venting so much yesterday. It feels nice. I am going to stop the birth control. My next scheduled injection is the 23rd (it's a Sunday and the clinic is closed?? so it probably would have occurred on the 21st instead) and I'll just not go. From what I'm reading on the paleo facebook pages (what a wealth of info there!!) is that it could take a couple of months or a couple of years for my hormones to self-regulate, but chances are they'll be regulated to a pretty fair degree once I get my first period. Once my cycles start again, I should be able to tell a difference in how I feel b/c come day 14 or so, the testosterone should surge (Primal desires to get pregnant, anyone??). It happened quickly when I stopped using birth control pills, but this is a bit stronger than that given it has to last 3 months as opposed to one day per pill. Anyhow, that is going to happen. I haven't told him how long it could theoretically take to fix me, but I will... I gotta do more research to see what the average time for recovery is.

    My tummy feels legitimately hungry today... but I have no almonds to tide me over. maybe it's just a desire to eat masquerading as hunger....

    I have a sick baby girl at home today with her daddy. She was vomiting for some reason or another over night and into this morning. Poor girl. So, I'm leaving work at noon so I can be home by 1 so Brad can go to work. I have to skip class tonight b/c I don't want to stick a puking baby with my stepmom. Plus, I'd have to arrange for someone else to watch her for about a half hour or so after I leave for class until my stepmom can be there, which just sounds like a lot of work when there's really no reason I can't skip class. I don't like the idea of skipping class, but I've gotta do what I've gotta do to care for my family. Besides, Baby Girl would probably rather be with Mommy than grandma when she's sick, and quite honestly, I'd rather be there with her when she's sick. Here's a pic of her crashed out on our bed. Poor sleeping Bearz...

    Sick Bearz.jpg

    And to end the post... how bout them Cowboys!! What a great game last night. Love it when my Boys can prove themselves. Romo still has some passing issues, Witten is still injured, but played anyway, but Ogletree I think is going to be a star this season! I can't wait to see the next game. GO COWBOYS!!
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  6. #1126
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    When it comes to hormones, averages don't mean much. It's so highly individual. Some women get hyper-fertile as soon as they drop the birth control, others can go a long time before their fertility returns.

    I got pregnant while nursing my first-born, without having had a period. When hormone levels change, each body reacts differently. Some women have periods with no ovulation: I had the opposite. Same thing with menopause; anything can happen.

    Which is a long-winded way of saying there's just no telling how your body will react. It won't necessarily have anything to do with averages. You can look it up anyway, to have a rough idea, but there is no normal. Or rather, there are many, many normals.

    Anyway, glad your morale has lifted. If your husband's attitude continues to be a concern, try to find some time when you are very calm and relatively happy to discuss it with him. And it is nice to see that he makes a visible effort to do better. If you let him know that you see that, and appreciate it, it will make the discussion that much easier. If you give him the impression that you trust him to want to make things work, let him know what you really need to see from him, and what you yourself are working on from your side, you are putting all the chances on your side to have a productive conversation on this.
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
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  7. #1127
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    Thanks Judg.

    Day 3 with no sugar and VLC is coming to a close. Doing well. Except craving juice... I'll have to look up again how people are taking the l-glutamine. I believe she took it 1.5 hours after a meal and 2 hours before a meal, which won't work at this point b/c I'm about to heat up dinner (gluten free spaghetti for the kids, spaghetti squash for me - just realized that's a really high carb meal, but I think I'll still be able to stay under 50 mg).

    I can tell I'm in ketosis b/c I'm starting to have lexapro withdrawal zaps again after having been zap free for about 2 weeks. Zaps are dumb.

    Ankle is feeling better. No sugar seems to have made a significant difference in how it feels. No pain, just stiffness/tightness like the connective tissues need stretched. Dr. Lake did a good number on things today and I fully expect it to start feeling better soon.

    Brad is complaining that he is up something like 7 lbs so he's going to cut his starchy carbs out. I think that'll help him a lot. He asked me to pick him up some green tree extract b/c he read it can help with weight loss. I told him the "help" is minimal but it provides many other benefits (according to a blog post from Mark) so I'll get it for him. Most of the assistance it seems to offer is inflammatory assistance, which could release some water for him.

    I know a lot of his "attitude" is depression and I'm trying to be patient about it, but sometimes it's really a giant drag for the rest of us. He's only taking 10 mg of Zoloft. I think that might need to be increased until his body starts to heal itself a bit more. And he's going to need to really clean up his diet as well.

    Anyhow, time to make dinner. Night all.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  8. #1128
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    Low carb rocks! 187.6 today!! New low. Let's hope it sticks!!!

    I can tell I'm living in KetosisLand b/c I'm zapping again. Those fat cells are bursting and releasing those toxins from those daggum antidepressants.

    I'm reading Primal Body Primal Mind. She's quickly convincing me that the food industry is full of liars and cheats and bastards who are killing us slowly... only problem is that she's also giving me this sense of doom - like there are so many things wrong with my body now as a result of living the SAD lifestyle that I'm going to be repairing for 100 years and I better never consume a single molecule or gluten again or I'll have to start all over. How is that any way to live? I don't mean to say that I plan to bring gluten into my life as a staple - absolutely not - but how can you possibly avoid EVERY SINGLE molecule of gluten? She says that a single molecule of gluten can cause damage that takes 6 months to repair... If this is true for everyone, we're all screwed and will NEVER get back to optimal health b/c there will ALWAYS be gluten available to contaminate our foods. Unless we raise our own meats, our own veggies, and never ever ever EVER buy anything in a store again. The information she's providing is compelling and very interesting and backed up with references in nearly every paragraph, but I feel like she's a little too pessimistic about the body's ability to heal itself and is a bit over the edge with how horrible life will be if we don't avoid gluten 100% of the time. I get it... it's bad for me, whether allergic or not, and I may be allergic and not know it... but, I don't think it's as horrible as she passes on. It's almost like "EAT THIS AND DIE TOMORROW" is the message she's putting out there and I don't think that's reality. I'm only through Chapter 5, so maybe it gets less negative as we go and more optimistic.

    Don't get me wrong, it's a good read and full of very good information... but I think she's a little over the top with the OMG IT'S GOING TO KILL US attitude. None of the other authors I have read have had this same stance of the deadly nature of gluten, so it's almost like she loses a bit of credibility b/c of her tone. Idk... I need to keep reading.

    However, the food industry is jank and needs a complete overhaul.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  9. #1129
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    namelesswonder is online now Moderator
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    Fiber Menace made me feel that way too. I'm hoping that if I get my digestion issues back on track and they're regular for a while, an occasional trip off the wagon with some Vitamin C and probiotics to help recover will not destroy me for life. But that is still several months away for me, at this point. Christmas is going to be rough, there will be a lot of cookie-things that I want to eat. I may have to splurge a little to make some gluten-free baked goods for myself.

    I think the book sounds very paranoid. Avoiding every single molecule of gluten sounds easy to me, if you can afford good quality meats. Eat fruit, veggies, meat. Voila. No gluten. The only conflict comes from sharing food with other people, or introducing foods that are "iffy" (packaged foods of any kind, basically). So...maybe not realistic for some people, but definitely doable with some vigilance. Maybe she is using the strict approach as a kind of gimmick, to scare people into compliance? That's kind of odd.
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  10. #1130
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    I think the book sounds very paranoid. Avoiding every single molecule of gluten sounds easy to me, if you can afford good quality meats. Eat fruit, veggies, meat. Voila. No gluten. The only conflict comes from sharing food with other people, or introducing foods that are "iffy" (packaged foods of any kind, basically). So...maybe not realistic for some people, but definitely doable with some vigilance. Maybe she is using the strict approach as a kind of gimmick, to scare people into compliance? That's kind of odd.
    The chapter about digestion was interesting but gave me a sense of hopelessness b/c there is so much that goes into it and so many things to consider when making sure everything is right that I got overwhelmed. She talked about hydrochloric acid production and that people who suffer from reflux don't produce enough so the pyloric valve won't open to allow the partially digested food to pass into the intestine. Of course, the stomach knows it's supposed to be gone and starts to reflux it to get it out of there b/c the longer it sits, the more it ferments and the more problems are caused. So people get acid indigestion or heartburn or acid reflux and start popping Tums and Prilosecs and the problem persists b/c the problem wasn't too much acid, but rather not enough acid in the first place. That's the shortened version...

    She goes on to talk about the pancreas and all that too. It was a very interesting read to learn how it's all tied together, but it also made me feel overwhelmed b/c it's like how do I know if there's a problem? I don't suffer from reflux or heartburn, so I assume all is well with my acid production, but the tone of importance, utter doom that could occur if not tended to, made me feel super overwhelmed and scared. I don't like that. I hope she tones it down in later chapters.

    And you're right... as long as you eat whole fresh foods only, you should be fine, but the problem comes with sharing food with people or eating in a shared kitchen or anything else like that. If you're a hermit in your own home, grow only your own foods and never consume anything from outside your home, you should be fine...
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




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