Omg, I'm reading this idiotic book. One of those "Wait, don't close the window! We'll also include our grandmother and decrease the already low price of 9.99999999$ to 0.99999$!" type ebooks and clearly, I haven't bought it because I knew it was dumb, low-fat crap... But when I downloaded it and read it... Oy vey...!
Where do I start? It's called "Maximize Your Metabolism" and it's basically calories cycling, I suppose? One day you do a veggie juice 24 hours cleanse. The rest you drink copious amounts of water... Then you have to write an essay about your fitness goals and visualize yourself flashing unsuspecting people on the street with your new, fit body.
The menu "choice" is so varied... Let's see we have turkey and salad for lunch, 2 rice crackers for dinner, a slice of fat-free cheese... We can use 1tbsp. of low-fat butter (is there such a thing?) and my favourite rule "avoiding starchy vegetables like avocados".
[Don't avocados grow on trees...? As in fruits?... I've never heard it being described as starchy before either]
This is a little conflicting because he goes on and on about eating plenty of vegetables... but I hardly see any mention of vegetables except for that lonely salad...
... There are 3 diets. Each one you eat for two/ three days, alternating, yet they are exactly THE SAME! Rice crackers, cream of rice (huh?!), turkey, skinless chicken... Oh joy, I'm drooling all over myself thinking of all the bold flavours :/
Another favourite was the excuse to limiting the fat to 1 tbsp. per day... "because we want to burn all the fat in our bodies instead of putting it into our stomachs through food"... Pure science! I wish grade 3 Chemistry was this easy.
I don't know if to laugh or cry, but in all fairness, he started the book saying that it takes educated dieticians decades to publish their research, so by the time they do it it's outdated. So essentially we should all listen to the "uneducated" who have more times to copy random bits and pieces and sell it over the internet in a book, geniuses like him.
I don't know why I read this crap... A force of habit I suppose?
There's still a voice in my head, like "oh but what if you CAN lose 31 pounds in 30 days, like that happy blond chick?"... "you'll never know if you don't try!!!" it adds with more paranoia.
But I've read so many of these "get thin quick" books and I've only tried the ones who have really convinced me.
Like, the minute I got Canada's Food Guide (our twisted version of the Pyramid diet), my immediate reaction was...
"WHAT?! The government recommends 12 servings of WHEAT?! A DAY?"
It didn't make sense. I was eating maybe 4 servings a day and being constipated, bloated and had a myriad of digestion problems... It just didn't make sense.
The same way it didn't make sense when I was on the Wai diet, which at the time was like the bible to me, because it vilified meat so much... I just couldn't be convinced that meat is "bad" and acne-causing... I love meat more than any fruit on the planet!
From one extreme I went to the next - Zero Carb, which vilified everything except for meat... And that didn't make sense either.
PB is just in the middle, it gives me freedom to eat what tastes and feels best.
(Wow, I'm a talking commercial)
*Holds up PB book*
Just ranting. How's everyone's weekend?
Hopefully your next weekend isn't gonna be spent like mine... ENSLAVED! >:0