Enough of the anger-monster. I humbly apologize for my recent rants. I have just been inundated with rudeness in every aspect of my life lately and I am attempting to pull myself out of my anger spiral.
My mother used to say that my real father had anger issues. I never believed her until I met the man and got to see it in full living color. What was scary about it was that I recognized some of it in me. I had moments of uncontrollable rage, simmering furiousness, etc. The difference was that I tended to go to a private place at that point and stay away from others who might be targets. Since meeting my wife these anger moments have all but ceased...but add a sprinkle of stress, a dash of incredulity, a smidge of overwhelming workload, and these feelings creep back up. I really need to start meditating again.
On the diet front? Failure. I say this as I eat a muffin.
I have a plan, though. I am not giving up. These are bad moments, not true failure. These are poor choices and I'm trying to really learn from them. I'm reading an interesting book about habits and how a lifetime of habits can't be stopped, but can be changed. I've begun to implement some of the book's thoughts into my own life.
For example, instead of going home, grabbing something to eat and spending the rest of the night on the couch watching tv we have a chore list. We have a morning chore list and an evening chore list. Some mornings we get up and I clean up the bathroom, put lunches together, clean the litter-box, grab the clothes lying around and put them in the laundry. Some nights I get home and empty the dishwasher, last night I dusted the bedroom, tonight my wife will do a load of laundry and dust the living room. We've been getting up earlier to get this stuff done and I have to say...three days in...that its really nice to come home to an apartment that has no clothes and shoes strewn about, the bed is made and things are rather tidy. At night I'm more apt to clean up a bit while listening to a helpful or entertaining audiobook while dusting, picking up, folding, etc.
I'm hoping that this new practice of ours will become a habit, and will then lead to us to make additional good changes in our life. I'm really hoping that creating this new habit of activity will help shift us into even more activity, which will also be yet another thing that will help us stick to a better way of eating. I've added an incentive for the upcoming weeks....stick to the eating plan 100% for 3 weeks and that person gets to choose a date night activity and can eat anything they want at that activity. My hope, but don't tell the wife, is that if we can stick to the primal eating habits for 3 weeks we will make better choices for our "cheat meal" or might choose to skip the cheat if we've worked really hard. The longer we can keep this going the better.
I've also decided to start a blog in the next couple of weeks. I want to blog our attempts at changing our habits, losing weight, trying to have a baby as a married lesbian couple, and our attempts to get all primal-culinary! Recipes! I need a creative outlet as well as something to keep me honest.