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Thread: How do I not sound rude to my child's daycare provider? page

  1. #1
    femininefigure's Avatar
    femininefigure is offline Junior Member
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    Primal Fuel


    I have an almost 9 month old son. He is still breastfed and has been getting my pumped milk while I work. He took an early interest in solids, and I started experimenting here and there at a little prior to 6 months. He now does very well with solids, though I definitely still focus on breastmilk.


    His appetite has grown recently, and I've avoided until now all talk of solids at daycare. However, for a few different reasons, I'd like him to start eating some solids there. Though he eats strings of chuck roast, salmon, chicken, ostritch, bone marrow (mmmm), some steamed veggies, and some fruit, I did puree some things to take to his daycare. I don't want them to worry about a choking liability.


    Anyway, they are willing to feed him, though already the question was brought out--"we have those Gerber Puff things and those Yogurt Melts. They're great--they love them and they don't choke on them becaue they melt right in their mouth!" Yuck, gag me.


    I told her something about how now I'd just like him to eat what I bring, but how do I make it clear that NO, he should not eat those things without sounding rude. I know they accommodate allergies, but I don't like to lie about things like that.


    I just don't want to come off as difficult/rude/arrogant.


  2. #2
    hippie_mama's Avatar
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    I don't think telling them very specifically and in no uncertain terms that he is to ONLY receive meals and snacks that you bring from home is difficult, rude, OR arrogant. When i was working childcare, i really hated trying to guess if it was ok to give a toddler a cheerio or not when they wanted snacks, and was much more comfortable feeding the kids something from their own diaper bags. It was always disappointing to see that it was empty, and it was up to me to guess.


  3. #3
    lil_earthmomma's Avatar
    lil_earthmomma is offline Senior Member
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    Don't lie then, but say something like "we are concerned about allergies/food sensitivities, so I would really appreciate it if you only fed dc the food I provide for him."

    The more I see the less I know for sure.
    -John Lennon

  4. #4
    anniegebel's Avatar
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    Continue to be clear and direct. You don't need to lie, every family has different diets, and even if she looks at you sideways when you say you don't want him to have junk food (and those snacks are junk food), who cares? He is your son. period. You're providing the foods and that what he should be eating. period.


    It might help too, to take in some snacks that you would be ok with him having, but I don't think he really needs snacks yet at all. He's not even a year old!


    I think the easiest way is to not sound rude is to not feel defensive. You know what works for your family. Just present them with that plan.


    good luck


  5. #5
    Stabby's Avatar
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    Sometimes being upfront is the best way. It's not as if their feelings will be hurt. If I wanted kids I would be like a rabid wolf about their well-being. I don't think "I only want him eating this" would be so bad.

    Stabbing conventional wisdom in its face.

    Anyone who wants to talk nutrition should PM me!

  6. #6
    FairyRae2's Avatar
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    I totally agree w/ previous posters. Be very clear. I was a teacher for years, and recall having a student who was supposed to 'avoid' wheat and dairy, but could have both occasionally, according to her mom. Now, being aware of what foods wheat and dairy is actually in (as a mom to a food sensitive babe) I'm horrified at the amounts of wheat and dairy I unknowingly gave to that child! I'd be very clear I didn't want my child eating ANYTHING I had not packed for him/her (if that is the case). I agree w/ LEM, saying somthing like, "we are concerned about food allergies" or "we are avoiding certain food additives" or "we are following a special diet in our family based on personal health needs" (TRUE!) etc. Just be very clear about what you do/do not want your kid eating, post it on your child's diaper bag, give print outs, etc. It really doesn't matter *why*, just that you don't want your kid eating that stuff, and you make them aware of it. You can say it in a friendly matter, w/out being judgemental of the food they are offering. I just think clarity is the most important thing. It's pretty easy to slip up and forget who can eat what when you are caring for a group of kids, so making it VERY clear is really really helpful to care providers, and will make it much more likely that they won't be slipping your son gerber puffs.


    Also, as he gets older, you may want to start making some primal substitutes for the snacks other kids are eating so that he doesn't feel left out. But you've certainly got time to work that all out--he is still so young.


  7. #7
    OnTheBayou's Avatar
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    Be "rude." You pay them, not the other way around.


  8. #8
    paleo_piper's Avatar
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    I with OTB on this one. Be rude. I grew up in a daycare and my mother still teaches kindergarteners. Don't bother with allergies or anything like that. Don't make excuses, be firm, be rude. Bring his own food and be persistent about it. It saves them money if you bring your own food, so it should've even be a big deal.


  9. #9
    maba's Avatar
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    Maybe you could write them a letter like this:

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...-to-pre-school

  10. #10
    FlyNavyWife's Avatar
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    As a child care provider, I will say that it's not rude at all to bluntly state your dietary preferences for your child.


    If a parent told me their child was to eat a vegan diet, I'd think it was stupid but I'd follow their wishes when the child was in my care.


    If a parent told me their child could not have goldfish crackers specifically (whatever reason, and not that I'd feed the kids in my care that anyway w/a choice, but I have in the past, pre-primal) I wouldn't care why... I wouldn't do it.


    If a parent told me their child couldn't eat anything purple, I'd roll with it.


    No need to be "rude" like OTB and paleo_piper are saying, but... being blunt and clear is fine.

    Eating lots but still hungry? Eat more fat. Mid-day sluggishness? Eat more fat. Feeling depressed or irritable? Eat more fat. People think you've developed an eating disorder? Eat more fat... in front of them.

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