I am starting this journal for a couple of reasons. One because I really need encouragement and another because I have a strong desire to feel like I am a part of a community. Sometimes I feel pretty alone in this struggle although I know there are others out there, I feel isolated for some reason.
I am the poster child for “if at first you don’t succeed, try again”.. for me it’s always been “try again”. The last 10 years have driven me half batty. I get so angry when I think back to how confusing it has all been.
There is so much damned misinformation flying around and constantly trying one diet after another my frustration became overwhelming. I felt like pulling all my hair out.
At last count I have read almost 60 diet and "healthy lifestyle" books. I was so incredibly confused, constantly. I would swing back and forth between vegan and veggie.. I did Raw for several months, and in between all of this on and off Atkins back and forth with the same 30 pounds over and over for the last two years.
I always felt torn between veggie and very low carb.
On very low carb with ketosis weight loss became easy but I had other issues. Extreme dehydration and electrolyte loss. Zero energy (still have a problem with that although it is getting better!) for exercise.
After a while on Atkins and very low carb I would CRAVE anything juicy.. like lots of tomato and cucumber and FRUIT! I felt so dried out - it was a strange feeling. There was no other way to describe it but instinctively I knew I really was onto something, I just didn’t know what to take away from the diet and what to leave. I still am drawn to eating very low carb.
Right now I feel like I am on the way to the “right way” but I have had so much failure in the past I wonder secretly in the back of my mind if it's false hope once again.
But as I do I have jumped in with both feet, big time. DH is doing it with me also. I have decided to stop being so extreme and doing VLC. I am allowing myself fruit while eating low carb and Primal. I live in the middle of a bunch of citrus groves and my very fav. fruit is ruby grapefruit. I have loved having it this season so much! It’s funny that just a piece of fruit could mean that much but I fight with food and my relationship to food constantly and fruit has always been "really good" or "really bad" for me. I am still confused about fructose.. it's good/no it's bad/no it's great.. WTF? It's almost laughable.
I have done well the last 10 days. I am trying to stay off the scale for at least a couple of weeks. I’ve given myself a wide range of an acceptable carb level for myself. Between 20 and 50 carbs a day.
I need to lose 75+ pounds. I’ve read Mark’s book, twice actually and I love it. I hope I have finally found my way.
I've been keeping an online blog for a couple of years now: http://mylifesmetamorphosis.blogspot.com
Last edited by DaisyHair; 02-27-2012 at 03:25 PM.