Primal journal : Coll page 62

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If it was our own house we would have fixed it long ago - but DEFINITELY not putting that kind of money into our landlords place - and he won't do anything about the windows because they are eventually getting rid of the trailer. Situation kind of sucks - but we just have a few months left before we can be in our own place hopefully and then we'll be done with dealing with irritating landlords and their crappy and expensive old trailers!

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Well, too little sleep and too much to eat for the last few days equals gaining weight. What on earth has gotten into me? Oh well, nothing like picking up the pieces and starting again. It is only when I don't get up that the failure is permanent - right? So going to aim for low carb and low overall intake today. I have had a bar of chocolate every day the last three days - it is almost a miracle that I have not gained more weight ... grr. I am sitting at 190.4 lbs this morning. Time for me to get a grip again. The 'bad' chocolate is finished so I am no longer tempted beyond bearing - oh the sorrows of a sugar addict

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Well, a semi decent day. Certainly not the best I have had, but no sugar and no stuffing myself on unhelpful food either. Aunt Flo arrived this afternoon after being a tease for days... I have to say that my urges to overeat are usually very hormonal in nature. It doesn't help me overcome those urges though

I have been noticing that I have a lot of hair that is about 1 1/2 - 2 inches long ... I guess I am growing hair out after losing a bunch, must have been from when I first went low carb? I am not noticing much in the way of hair falling out now ... hopefully that is done with. It looks pretty funny I must say - as if I have a halo, especially around my parting. These last couple of years have certainly taken a toll as far as growing a healthy crop of white hairs. I am suddenly looking older, sigh. Guess we all get to deal with that...

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I am all excited today - DH is taking the kids Christmas shopping (for me) and I get to be home alone! That is way more exciting than any gifts I will admit. Just to do what I want when I want is such a treat. And to not have to quit whatever I am doing to help with something or listen to a story - I love being Mommy, but it is so nice to have a few hours to myself. I can't quite decide what I want to do with that time ... decisions, decisions. Should I go to the lake/ river for a little walk, or stay home and organise the room that was DS bedroom, now craft /playroom (absolute zoo!!)? Or wrap presents? I don't think I will have much time - maybe a couple hours at most ... so maybe I should do the room as that is so much easier without anyone around to interrupt or have to negotiate around. I can wrap gifts later, and I can take a walk earlier since DH is home today. Ok, decided... I think.

I am starting to get really excited about looking for a place of our own. It is overwhelming when thinking of moving again, but so worth it to be in our own place. Nothing much on the market right now - at least that we would be interested in. But there should be a bunch that appears after the New Year. It is such a juggling act, trying to find a place that we can afford (pretty expensive in this area compared to where we were in SC) and that we can accommodate us plus my parents, and where we can have space to do some scale of sustainable living with water which is a huge deal out here.

[Judg]

Good luck with the house hunting. And I am totally gobsmacked by the fact that you have only single-pane glass in your climate. Insane. It goes without saying that around here, every window is double or even triple glazed.

It sounds like you should not replenish your chocolate. Cold turkey might be the way to go for you, and for a good long time.

I hope you enjoyed your alone time. I can vividly remember what that was like. Now I sometimes get too much of it, although that is not going to be a problem over the next couple of weeks... Oy.

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I am pooped this evening, my back is sore - too much lifting and I guess not all of it in a good way. Hard to lift well when you are moving heavy tubs of stuff through narrow doorways. It was lovely having all that time - about 4 hours!! I listened to music and then just had it quiet. Got a ton of work done ... and ate more chocolate!! Judg, I am going to have to do the cold turkey on the chocolate! I had bought some for the family for the Christmas stockings (and a little extra - setting myself up for failure there!! Not good) I am just going to have to not keep chocolate in the house until I am over this craving stage! Needless to say it is not the 70% or 85% that is being devoured - it is the milk chocolate and the lower percentages. I think I have hit my limit today - hopefully that is it!

Yeah, the window thing is crazy! Some of the windows (3 I think) have extra panels that you can insert when it gets cold. But most of these don't fit well and the rest are long gone... The shower gets pretty chilly as there are windows in the actual shower/ tub enclosure and while they are not open there is still a cold draft drifting down onto you as you shower. Brrr.

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Well, we had a lovely Christmas, I ate way too much... but I figure it is a feast day, and today was disorganised and messy eating. TOmorrow will have to get back on track. Am actually still under 190 lbs amazingly. Helps when Aunt Flo and her accompanying bloat disappears out the door I don't think there is anymore 'bad' chocolate left in the house, so am going to avoid anything under 70% cocoa again for the foreseeable future. Anything less gets me going in a really bad way! Need to just not go there at all ... Tomorrow I am going to start keeping close tabs on my intake again and get really intentional about what crosses my lips again.

It is nice to take a little time off school ... maybe I can get my stuff together enough tomorrow to start working on the pattern for my moccassins! The room where I need to work is a mess of half organised boxes and leftovers from packaging Christmas gifts. So, tomorrow I will get some tidying done and see if I have the energy needed to think through how to make the moccassins. Our latest batch of mead is now in a 1 gallon bottle and bubbling away merrily! I tried cherry mead this time - the other ones we had made are tasting pretty good. But we have them set up for some long term fermenting - hope the patience pays off. The blackberry mead was very yummy! My favourite for sure.

[Siobhan]

Mead...yeah...need to get me some mead...

I have the same hair thing going on! After I went primal/low carb I had significant hair loss, which was really scary but apparently normal. Now it's all growing in and I have so many little short hairs that I actually sprang for a kind-of-expensive hairspray to tame them down. (Catwalk - great stuff) I have dreams of a thick head of hair, which probably won't happen, but a decent head of hair is perfectly okay too. At my age I am not going to complain as long as I actually have hair.

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Lol, Siobhan. At least I am not alone on the weird hair thing! It is very odd looking at myself especially when I have just washed and dried my hair! Funky look. Fortunately, even with a lot growing out, I have always had very thick hair so it is not too obvious that I lost a lot otherwise. I can notice however when putting it in a ponytail - just much less of it. Of course with having really long hair it is going to take a loooonnnng time for it all to get grown out again But it is all worth it to be healthier and lighter and on the road to a better quality of life! Of course a bunch of the new hair is white ... rather have white hair than none though. Besides I have worked hard to get these 'highlights'

Back on track today ... tea for breakfast and then hopefully a nice big lunch with loads of veggies and the same for dinner. I made soup from the leftover lamb meat, so very yummy. Our Christmas dinner just did not work out great this year ... the roast wasn't the way I like it, the potatoes weren't quite the way I like them, even the artichoke wasn't quite right. Maybe my taste buds were on strike. but the soup is delicious so that is good.

The dog's crate stinks - I think she may have stashed a piece of meat somewhere in there!! So I am going to have to dig out her blankets and see what I can find. She is also scratching a bit so need to clean it all, sprinkle with DE and essential oils.

There is an ongoing saga in my kitchen. Somewhere something has died ... I smell it when I am getting something out of the refrigerator or working at the stove (they're next to each other) We have hunted high and low and can't find anything. DH pulled the stove out, even unscrewed the back and checked in the wiring (we have found rotten mice there before), he pulled the fridge out, vacuumed and cleaned that thoroughly .... just can't find whatever is stinking. Just yuk - and it is right where I stand to prepare our meals and cook. Last thought I had was maybe something died in or next to the heating duct that blows in near my feet ... you can't access the crawl space under this house because shrubs have grown in front of the entrance ...
Our previous rental we had a constant stream of critters falling down inside the one wall of the house, dying there and then stinking for weeks! Our darling landlord wouldn't do anything about it and we were happy to get out of there - our dog used to try to scratch through the wall to get to the scratching critter, and bark her head off, so I had the added joy of keeping her from tearing up the wall. Renting is not for the faint of heart believe me, esp. when you can't afford nice places. But it is very nice to have a roof over our heads and heat to keep us cozy. Chilly weather at the moment - we really are 'spoiled' in these modern times with the central heating! I try to imagine how the pioneers managed in this kind of weather - much tougher than us modern types I think!

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5 F out there - bit of a pain getting the chickens water all day long. But I do like crunching through the snow and feeling the bite of the cold air on my cheeks. Just glad I can come back inside where it is a toasty 60F.

So today my aims are to go with herbal teas until mid morning, then black tea with cream. Lunch with lots of veg, no snacking between lunch and dinner. Then dinner with loads of veg (and both meals will definitely have protein and fat - it is the veg that I slip up on most times) I find that if I avoid snacking it helps me so much mentally - and it is amazing how many calories get consumed by snacking!