I have been in a bit of a funk for a while now - hence the lack of progress of any kind. Don't know why exactly, just tired and stressed about a bunch of things I guess. For some reason I am really up to the eyebrows with renting and not having our own place. I have to really watch my attitude toward our landlords as it just seems to be so wrong that they should have this incredible piece of property that they are just throwing away. I know this is a classic case of envy, not sure how to deal with it - it sure isn't good for me though! I am just longing for a place of our own - no matter how humble. It would be so lovely to be able to put time and effort in, knowing that it will benefit us years down the road. I still have boxes waiting to be unpacked, and I am gradually getting them sorted - much closer since we got a couple more bookshelves. But I find it really depressing unpacking and organising in a house that I am going to have to pack up again in a few months time. I guess I am feeling all done with moving - but I am not. Hopefully we will be able to find someone to lend us money to buy a place after the end of the year. I am also feeling really homesick for South Africa... spent the day yesterday fighting back tears and trying not to think about it too much. We really need some friends - going to try going to the homeschoolers park day tomorrow again in the hopes that the kids at least will make some connections. That takes a lot of energy because DS usually falls apart when surrounded by a lot of people and is usually in tears by the time we leave. I just can't figure out how to meet the same people on a smaller scale so that he is not so overwhelmed. But folk seem to be pretty strongly opposed to anything at our homes ... sigh. I know something will work out eventually - seems that everything is in that state at the moment though. Eventually ... I will lose more weight .... get more sleep... have our own place... have friends... get my folks out here.... get rid of debt etc etc - boy aren't I a happy little ray of sunshine today! Enough of that.
Going to start fitday again ... see if I can get back into the routine of keeping a tab on my macros again. Hopefully I can get on top of why I am not losing weight. I know some of it - too much chocolate for one...
Next massage this afternoon. Not freaked out about this anymore after the last one - got this one and one more and then hopefully I will be ready to try the graston therapy again. I have noticed a distinct improvement in the amount of pain I am experiencing which is very nice! Taking the Wobenzyme is definitely a part of that - if I leave off taking it the pain starts to kick in again... eventually will try to wean off it but not until I am done with the graston therapy I think.
Had to pull up my spaghetti squash plant today as I discovered it has a fungus. Kind of silly, but that was a bummer! (especially as it had a whole bunch of new squashes forming) And now I see that my zucchini plant has the same thing - so, got to pull that up too. We have been enjoying the fruits of my garden so much... I think the day and night temperatures are just too different especially for the heat loving squashes. Temp goes from around 90F in the day to in the 40's and 50's at night! Hopefully nothing else is infected ...
Start weight: 225.5 lbs Feb 14th 2012. Height: 5'7"
Primal low: 186 lbs
Current weight: 221.4 lbs
Goal weight: 140 lbs
"You are free to choose, BUT you are not free from the consequences of your choices."