Oh Sabine, thanks for the pep talk. I know this stuff and yet it helps so much to hear it from someone else - especially someone who is on the same journey! And sometimes the hugs are also just what the doctor ordered I am going to embrace this incomprehensible and at times frustrating journey and just keep on keeping on.
I DO feel so much better and my clothes are better than they were when I started out. I weighed this morning and despite my panic from yesterday I have lost another pound - only one but at least it is down - I was expecting up from the way I was feeling. And yes, I love the food I eat, I feel much better and the crap just has no attraction for me anymore. As my dear funny husband loves to say, "you can polish it all you want, but it is still a turd!" Well, that store bought crap may be highly polished, but it still feels like crap in my body. Not fooled anymore!
OK, today was again pretty miraculous. During Easter season it has always been impossible for me to not binge.... I would make all kinds of resolutions and within no time at all I would have started bingeing on some of the favourite candy's that you only see over Easter. I would go through many pounds of chocolates in the weeks preceding Easter and after would be the bonanza because the stuff would go on sale. I can scarcely believe that I can say in all honesty that I have not had a single one of the old favourites. I even had some stashed in my dresser for weeks and never even felt tempted!!! Today I had 3 squares of dark chocolate - really enjoyed them and savoured them, but three really was one too many. The last one was not as nice, because I had had enough. It is incredible to me to be able to look at chocolates that have singlehandedly brought me to my knees on a myriad of occasions and not even salivate! I am in awe! I just ate 'normally' today.
Breakfast: We had a late brunch of bacon and eggs and I had half an orange as a treat. Black tea with cream and stevia. 3 squares of dark chocolate
Dinner: Pot roast beef, artichoke with garlic butter, salad with homemade dressing, berries and cream. An absolute feast - more than I would have usually eaten, but I had planned on celebrating today as Easter is really special for our family. I just did it with good healthy food.
Today is truly a major breakthrough for me emotionally, as I see real evidence of being free from the chocolate/sugar siren song that has devastated me for so many years. If I can go through Easter without falling off the wagon, there is indeed hope for me yet! Had a lovely day - beautiful spring weather and the kids had a blast hunting for their eggs. (I, of course, got carried away with my hiding and there is a lonely egg out there waiting for Wiley Coyote to come by for dessert) I clean forgot about the quarters in the eggs as we actually had plenty of stuff for them. We also included a little treasure hunt as an aside too where they had to follow a few simple clues to find the Easter basket and a little gift we had hidden away I think DH and I had as much fun as the kids.
My son asked me yesterday if he could get a loaf of bread for Christmas - poor kid I felt kind of bad for him. He has always eaten so much bread and has given it up without even a single complaint (which I think is amazing for a 6 year old!) But we did explain the whole rationale behind it and he understands to a point. I was telling him that I think he might find he doesn't like it so much then and that his body may not enjoy it either. I know there is going to be loads of bread at our family reunion in August and I am sure the kids will have some, I am not going to forbid them. But, hopefully they will take note of the effects it has on their bodies.
I have been thinking about the ways I can fine tune without overwhelming myself. I have decided to just go with one cup of tea in the morning and make it a good one (one less shot of HWC), I am going to cut out the greek yoghurt as much as possible too, it just isn't satisfying and apparently the dairy of that type is not the best for fat loss. Otherwise I think I am doing ok.... just need more sleep and definitely more exercise. As of tomorrow I am going to be getting lots of exercise as I will be doing the backyard as I mentioned. However I do want to try to be more on track with the 'program' if you can even call it that. I have also found a spot in the backyard that is relatively private where I am going to try and take the time to sunbathe often. At the moment I am lily white with purple/red polka dots (the DSAP) and it really looks nasty! Shall have to take a few pictures now as I am hoping that in a few months time we might actually be able to see an improvement.
Hope you all had a wonderful Easter, I feel blessed indeed!
Start weight: 225.5 lbs Feb 14th 2012. Height: 5'7"
Primal low: 186 lbs
Current weight: 222.2 lbs
Goal weight: 140 lbs
"You are free to choose, BUT you are not free from the consequences of your choices."