All the regular reasons to start my own journal, but this is what got me going:
I've been reading other journals, for inspiration, and to get my primal fix, to help keep me on track. One poster was lamenting that 'she didn't have a death wish, so why was she acting/eating like she did.' I was at the end of a day of just that kind of behavior. Having more of the symptoms that make me wonder if I'm headed for a heart attack, or pancreatic cancer, or stroke. All my fears just running wild.
And it is directly attributable to how I eat. When I am eating primally, I feel good. Within a day or two of 'slipping', I feel like crap.
And yet, I keep slipping.
Reading that phrase, I wondered, do I have a death wish? Yes or no, I don't want to be the kind of person who does. Or who acts like they do. Every bit of accountability I can wring out of myself, well, I just have to.
Last month I went to a workshop on play that a friend was presenting. One of the exercises was to write your novel's plot as a haiku. And it was really fun.
So, I'm staring at that phrase, 'death wish'. If it is strong enough to motivate me to start my journal, maybe it would be good to have it as my focus, my title. But I believe in the premise that your brain does not comprehend negatives. Every time I looked at 'no Death Wish', my brain would analyze it as 'Death Wish.'
Not the effect I am going for.
So I started anagraming, and came up with 'show then aid'. That's a keeper, because it plays into my fantasy, common to many, I think, that I can lose weight, be healthy, and help others by my example. Plus, it has that little writerly tinge of 'show, don't tell'. No one wants to take advice from someone who is still fat and unhealthy. Which is why I keep quiet about how I have been eating. Though I feel good, and lose weight when I am doing it, I have had too many relapses to be anything but an example for how turning back to sugars will screw you up.
So, my journal. A way for me to show myself what I am doing, so I can learn how to do it. And have the goal of someday showing others how it is done.