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Thread: Show, then aid - Sabine page 91

  1. #901
    Sabine's Avatar
    Sabine is offline Senior Member
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    A little better

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    Missing from yesterday was a walk. I just did not feel like facing the heat. I have not had to be getting up early this past while, so I haven't, but here in Texas, if you sleep in, you have lost your opportunity to get out while it is cool. I asked the girls if they wanted to go swimming, but they are both recovering from an excess of socializing, and just wanted to stay home and play video games with each other.

    Which is nice, too.

    So, I had plenty of time to do The Thing again. And distract myself from doing it by doing chores. So lots got done.

    Here's how it went down. See if you can guess when I faced my fears.

    Up at 8:00
    Vitamins

    12:15 1 1/2C Solyanka
    1 lambchop
    1oz liverwurst

    1:30 chocolate chips

    6:30 riced cauliflower sauteed in
    coconut oil with
    red bell pepper and red onion
    grilled chicken
    salad with
    lettuce
    tomato
    avocado
    caesar dressing
    1 fried banana(butter, vodka, cinnamon

    7:30 chocolate chips and cocoa roast almonds

    Bed at 9:00

    I'm on my last page of my paper journal today. Need to go buy a refill. Maybe I could walk there. There's even a hill between here and there. Be good for my calves.

  2. #902
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    1:30. That wasn't even hard... Keep up facing your THING, hopefully it will end up inspiring me!

    Quote Originally Posted by jenn26point2 View Post
    I love brain teaser games! Sudoku is my favorite!!!
    Ah yes, where would I be without sudoku? Bought a little book of them recently and discovered they are all, ALL, super-easy for rank beginners. You don't even have to think to solve them. I've given up on it, it frustrates me instead of relaxing me.
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

  3. #903
    Sabine's Avatar
    Sabine is offline Senior Member
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    Yesterday:

    Up at 7:00
    Vitamins

    11:30 steak with
    horseradish mayo
    1/4 avocado
    mixed lettuces
    caesar dressing

    1:00 cream and
    raspberries

    6:30 potatoes
    bratwurst and
    grilled onions
    in horseradish-mustard sauce

    8:30 cherry vanilla ice cream

    Water: 10 glasses
    Walking: 90"

    Bed at 10:00

    Very glum today.

  4. #904
    Judg's Avatar
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    Why glum?
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

  5. #905
    Sabine's Avatar
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    One more day

    It is a hard thing to fail at something you want to succeed at, that is important to you. The Thing is really taking me down a peg.

    This was yesterday:

    Up at 8:30

    12:00 philly cheese steak sandwich
    three onion rings

    3:30 ice cream and peanut m&ms

    8:00 more ice cream

    Water:8 glasses
    Walking:90"

    Bed at 10:30

    I let myself wallow in feeling down yesterday, but no time for that today. We are having GUESTS over this weekend, and I need to clean. Not old friends, they get what they get, and they all know I am not much of a housekeeper. But these are some people who have not been to my house yet. Her apartment is very bare, as she has moved from overseas with not many possessions, and very clean. Mine is cluttered with a family's worth of living, with dust everywhere, and stuff, stuff, stuff! I like clean, but not enough to do it very often. But I don't want to scare them.

  6. #906
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    {{hugs}} I hope it's one of those Things you can tackle again, and eventually defeat. Weight loss used to be that way, but look at all the progress you've m
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

  7. #907
    Sabine's Avatar
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    Thanks, Judg.

    And just as I was feeling very down about the effects that the ice cream and m&ms and cookies(today) are sure to have, my honey said he thinks I look thinner. Maybe I can pull myself together and get back on track.

    At least I did not buy the 3lb 10oz bag of peanut m&ms at Costco today. A victory of sorts.

  8. #908
    Judg's Avatar
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    Okay, how did I forget to finish the word? Very strange.

    Well, they will slow you down a bit, but that's all. And that sounds like an important victory to me.
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

  9. #909
    Sabine's Avatar
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    A slightly better day

    Some healthy things WERE eaten yesterday.

    And some not healthy things.

    Today, I want to start over. Make it through a day without saying 'screw it!' and just shoving things in my mouth. Of course, I wanted that yesterday, too, and here's how that went down:

    Up at 8:30
    Forgot my vitamins

    10:30 3 eggs scrambled in
    1t butter
    1/4C salsa
    1/3 avocado
    1 apple

    12;15 2 girls scout cookies

    12:30 2 slices raisin BREAD with butter

    2:30 jr burger from Braums
    french fries
    ketchup
    small vanilla shake

    4:00 chocolate chip cookies and dough
    milk

    6:45 8oz pork
    cauliflower salad(peas, red pepper, mayo, cream)

    8:00 cookies and dough
    milk

    Water: ? stopped tracking, it was low
    Walking: 70"

    Bed at 10:00

    I went to bed with my stomach feeling horrible. My honey had asked how my eating was going(he knows I've been having a rough time) and when I said 'like crap. I can't believe how weak-willed I am," he commiserated, and then said 'It's working, though. YOU LOOK THINNER TO ME.' !!!!!

    I do NOT want to slip back and lose this moment of LOOKING THINNER. I want to keep it going.

    So...how did it start yesterday. What made me reach for those cookies in the freezer? (There will be some tedious self-analization here. Just warning you.)

    I was trying to avoid doing the cleaning. (And it didn't even work. I went ahead and kept cleaning anyways. I do have SOME discipline.) So, I kept cleaning- cookies did not magically make the cleaning go away- yet I had to do it while feeling bad mentally and physically. Is this a good trade off? NO!

    And those chocolate chip cookies. Why did I make them? And I DID make them. Went to the store and bought the chocolate chips, made the dough after leaving the butter out to soften, the whole she-bang.

    I was feeling down about the girl scout cookies, the burger-fries-shake. I wanted an emotional boost. So, of course, I went for more of the thing that made me feel bad in the first place. Classic.

    And did it work?

    No. See: went to bed feeling horrible.

    What was good yesterday?

    I had that long walk in the morning.

    I did eat SOME real food.

    I felt great when my honey told me I looked thinner.

    Engaged in plenty of sex last night and this morning, so I have that endorphin boost.

    How can I avoid eating things I don't really want to today? There is still going to be cleaning going on, and even more of The Thing!

    Well, I can make some good food to stuff in my face. I would still be having excess calories, but not sugar and flour.

    I could avoid the cleaning and The Thing (just brainstorming, here. I'm going to do it, really!).

    I could have something fun to do for just a little while, as a break from tedious and/or scary things. Like what?

    Reading? (Face it, Sabine, you are going to do that, anyways. Reading is like breathing. There's just no point in holding it out for a treat.)

    I could paint my nails. Been thinking of doing that for a few months. And it is hard, and even unpleasant to eat while and after doing it. (That smell!) Okay, that's a possibility.

    Make new notecards with that marbled paper. That's a good one.

    Do a face mask. Very difficult to eat with that on.

    Walk around the block. No, this is not fun. Hot, hot, hot outside. I'll go with what I have.

    I'm going to make guacamole, and take breaks to paint my nails, make notecards, and do a face mask.

    Good luck to me!

  10. #910
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    Siobhan is online now Senior Member
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    Best wishes and do your toes too!
    My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

    I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. - Henry David Thoreau, Walden

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