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  1. #71
    Sabine's Avatar
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    Hmmph

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    No,no, the brownies were definitely not a cheat. I planned them (just not 4). Overeating them was only scary in the sense that I was eating without being hungry, just because I wanted to shove something in my face. And I don't feel that they were what set me off. I think it was the beans in the chile, the hummus, the cocktail sauce, and the mystery dressing on the spinach salad.

    On a tangent...I had a disheartening moment yesterday when one of my friends revealed how much she weighed. 191.
    Last time I checked, I was 194.5.
    Granted, she is several inches shorter than I am, but I have always felt she was fatter than I am. Very barrel-shaped, and just... fat. (Yes, I can be a judgmental bitch. I know.)
    It bummed me out.

    I won't even address the sad-that-I-am-not-a-better-person issue. But why should I care if I weigh more than she does? Is life an endless round of competition? Do I need to feel thinner than SOMEONE to feel thin? Is this a hangover from being the 'fat one'? Am I desperate to be the 'thin one'?

    More thoughts to ponder in the tub.

  2. #72
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    ya did good Sabine...I agree with ecks.

    I share your tangent. I started being primal before my mom but she has passed me up with the losing. She is bigger than I am, but weighed less when she started. She's also 74. Its a big ol puzzle. Not a competition or a need to feel thinner than someone else...heaven knows there's lots of folks out there that is that...its just a big puzzle! Hopefully I'll get my answers soon when my test results come back.

    have a great day!!
    SW-211
    CW-209


    Goal: Don't worry be happy!

  3. #73
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    You always make me chuckle sabine; you look at others, envy them, then wonder why you envy them. It's like you know that you really shouldn't care but you still let yourself care.

    Besides all of that weight is just a number. Can't dwell on being fatter or skinnier or taller or shorter or whatever. 194.5LBS could be all fat, or all water, or all muscle and none of that really matters. What does matter is your health, your well being, and your self confidence. You can't let a number make or break you. You've gotta gauge how you look, feel, and act. I never look at a weight loss without reflecting on a health gain. The number that is going down is far less relevant than the energy that is subsequently going up. If your short friend is 191 but shorter and you're 194.5 but taller you've got one of 2 options- Decide to go as mario and luigi for halloween or share your primal knowledge and help better the both of you. After all you have a very envious/comparative nature. Why not make an opponent out of her as far as weight loss and health and use that as a driving force for the both of you to make yourselves healthier and stronger?
    SW (Nov 22nd 2011): 333, 2 Years: 245lbs
    Current Weight as of December 4th, 2013: 239
    Short Term Goal: Happy brain, figure out direction in life.
    Met Goal: Be a 2x Shirt, Fit in a standard airplane seat belt without the use of a seat belt extension, Better sleep, Be a 1x Shirt
    Long Term Goal: 166lbs (One day!), Buy whatever cloths I want to wear.
    Pain is temporary, quitting is forever- Lance Armstrong #NoExcuses

  4. #74
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    Sequential Goals

    Thanks, DeMuralist, for this idea, of in-between goals.

    185- To be square in the 180s
    179- My last weight-loss success
    170- My pre-pregnancy weight (19 years ago!)
    154- Top end of 'normal' range
    149- To be in the 140s
    140- 'Perfect' normal

    To fit in size 12 pants
    To wear a bikini again
    To have enough energy to do my crazy circumnavigate my town in a day thing
    To do a boudoir portrait for my honey
    Peace of mind health
    To have people ask me how I did it
    To help someone else go primal

    So, that first weight goal. I'm about ten pounds away from it, which I am guessing will take me 2 to 2 1/2 months. Much more managable than the year plus for the whole change. Just keep practicing being primal, and I know I will get there.

    Of the life goals, I feel I am closest to the circumnavigation. Remember Steve Fawcett(don't know if I am spelling that correctly). Going around the world in his high altitude balloon, described as a world explorer. (We shall not think of his end, in the context of goal setting.) I thought, 'I would love to be described as a world explorer.'

    But I am just not up for circumnavigating the globe.

    I could circumnavigate my town, though! I plotted the course. About 42 miles. With a push, that could be done in a day. So that's my little someday dream. Circumnavigate my town, starting in the wee hours of the morning, and finishing by starlight. Maybe as a fund-raiser, maybe just for my own delight.

    Ten pounds, 42 miles. Game on.
    Last edited by Sabine; 03-12-2012 at 05:22 AM. Reason: Stray capitalization

  5. #75
    Candy in Wonderland's Avatar
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    Hi Sabine, I've read your whole journal and love your writing .
    That sounds like a cool goal, circumnavigate your town! Just keep us posted on your progress .


    Think it's time to set some goals of my own .
    My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
    My Blog: Candy in Wonderland
    Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
    Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

  6. #76
    Sabine's Avatar
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    Candy, thank you for stopping by, and the compliment. These journals are a strange blend of internalism and exhibitionism. We're writing to keep track of what we're doing, and explore our thoughts and discoveries, but also to share. And I confess to a thrill when I see a new visitor!
    Do you have a journal?

  7. #77
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    Yes I just started one a few days ago: Candy in Primal Wonderland. I'm still quite new to primal (and this forum), but I really enjoy reading some of the journals. It's inspiring to see how other people are doing .
    My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
    My Blog: Candy in Wonderland
    Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
    Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

  8. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sabine View Post
    On a tangent...I had a disheartening moment yesterday when one of my friends revealed how much she weighed. 191.
    Last time I checked, I was 194.5.
    Granted, she is several inches shorter than I am, but I have always felt she was fatter than I am. Very barrel-shaped, and just... fat. (Yes, I can be a judgmental bitch. I know.)
    It bummed me out.

    I won't even address the sad-that-I-am-not-a-better-person issue. But why should I care if I weigh more than she does? Is life an endless round of competition? Do I need to feel thinner than SOMEONE to feel thin? Is this a hangover from being the 'fat one'? Am I desperate to be the 'thin one'?

    More thoughts to ponder in the tub.
    I've been down this road before. I have a friend who is similar to what you describe. Few inches shorter, but much much rounder... weighs 20 lbs less than me! WHAT?!?! She's got type 2 diabetes and weighs 20 lbs less than me. How can that be?? I just told myself that she's lying. lol

    But in reality, I'm much more muscular than she is. I might weigh 20 lbs more than her, but it's probably because I have 20 lbs of muscle that she doesn't. She's round and squishy... I'm squishy, but also very solid. Might be something to consider with your friend.

    As far as competition... I think it's impossible to not compare ourselves to others and strive to be better than them. I mean, look at evolution... the hot male bird gets the chickie, the strongest survive, male lions fight over the pride of females. Life is competition. Every aspect of it is, so I don't think you're wrong to compare yourself and be competitive with your friend about weight loss. It's part of nature, I think. It's... wait for it... primal! haha

    And I love your goal about circumnavigating your town. 42 miles in one day. Whew! That's a trek! Can't wait to hear about it!

  9. #79
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    It's primal...I love it!

    Thanks, Jenn, I love that idea. I'm not petty, just giving into my primal side. I'll go with that.

    Ecks suggested I share primal with her, but she is solidly entrenched in CW. Thinks I am an idiot with my way of eating. But, I could go with my base primal instincts and have a secret competition, trying to get below her. Maybe if I made it all the way, it would help change her mind.

    She has lost twenty pounds going CW, but she has done that before and slowly crept up. Based on her experiences, and my own, I don't see anything different happening for her. There's only so long you can be hungry before you snap, as we all know.

    I was yakking on someone's post about finding what methods motivate you. I'd like to be the kind of person who is motivated by a pure way, but I might as well face it: I AM competitive. I think one of the reasons I do not like to admit it, is the way I was raised: to be a 'good German girl', submissive and nice. Competition just doesn't fit in with that.

    Can I ever tap into my primal side and be proud of being competitive, instead of admitting to it as a shameful secret?
    Last edited by Sabine; 03-12-2012 at 07:55 AM. Reason: spelling- those elusive 'i's!

  10. #80
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    Oh, yeah...food

    PrimalCon New York
    Here's what I ate yesterday:

    Up at 6:30(7:30 new time)
    Vitamins

    10:30 grilled pork chop
    1 C kale/swiss chard
    2 eggs fried in
    coconut oil

    4:15 1/2 C calamari and seaweed salad
    1 C beef stroganoff
    1 1/2 C niwatori slaw

    8:00 shake made with
    1/2 C coconut cream
    2T cream
    1 egg
    1 banana
    vanilla, stevia
    2 valentino brownies

    9:00 niwatori slaw

    Bed at 10:00 (9:00 old time)
    2 20-minute walks, one at human pace, one at dog pace

    So, I had dessert as dinner today, and dinner as dessert. Haven't had a banana in about four months. Yummy!
    Last edited by Sabine; 03-12-2012 at 08:07 AM.

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