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I am so pleased to hear that you are doing well after a hiccup! Show that old habit who is boss huh?!

[Sabine]

Thanks for your encouragement, all.

It is a strange feeling to be doing this 'with' others. Dieting has always been a solitary endeavor for me, even when I did Weight Watchers. I'm shy, so I never made friends there. And any talk to my friends about weight has always had a large bit of fantasy in it. I never wanted to say how much I really weighed, and wouldn't dream of confessing my binges. I have usually been the fattest person in my circle, and you fall into habits of seeing yourself a certain way. I'm the fat girl, who doesn't complain. Also, you get tired of trying something, being enthusiastic, and then failing.

Over and over.

I have been that girl for a long time, too. I think that is why I am keeping mum about this. My friends know I am 'low-carb' but I have fallen off that wagon enough times in the past that I don't think they really believe it. I wonder if any of them notice that it has been different these past few months. Probably not. To their eyes, it may very well NOT be different. I still have not exceeded my longest 'run' of success: five months. And I don't know that I will. But I am getting more confident about stringing 'runs' together.

A few days ago a piece of paper fell out of my (paper) journal. It was my list of sequential goals (a la deMuralist). The first one is to be squarely in the 180s - 185. I just jotted it down without much thought, but looking at it, I know what I meant. We all have the times where we are bobbling around a number. Up a little, down a little, not moving much. Not so much a plateau, but our body feeling its way. My bobbles have been around 200, and now 190. I want to be solidly in those 180s, so that if I bounce up a bit, there is still no 190 to be seen. I've entered the 180s, but I am still at the high end, flirting with 190 now and then.

I feel ready for a concerted little push, an actual 'watching my weight' kind of move. And I am feeling brave enough to announce it publicly to my primal friends. No keeping mum. I was planning another fast for after Eldest leaves. After that, I want to track my food- as in amounts, values for a week to see what exactly I am doing, and where I am straying from what I THINK I should be doing.

I hope I am not setting myself up for failure: announcing a plan and having people watch me. That's what I've always done before. But I am tired of that pattern. I'm ready to be successful, for real. So, I am daring to begin. Again.

Oh, and here's what I did yesterday:

Up at 6:10
Vitamins

12:00 2 plates sashimi
1/2C rice
1/2C creme brulee

8:30 1C ground beef marinara
1/2C cashews (Mark's fault, with that post of his!)
1/2 banana

Walking: 95 minutes!
Heavy things were lifted
Water: 10 glasses

Bed at 10:00

I did some errand walking, and more walking at the gym. Did that reverse crunch machine at the gym again. My honey told me he likes to watch my shirt ride up while I do it. It made me suck in my stomach, that's for sure! I am wanting to get some barefoot-style shoes: my athletic shoes are becoming actively uncomfortable after my life in Birkenstocks, and I'm just not willing to put up with it much longer. NO sprinting was done! If I ever get my walking into a habit, I might consider it. Until then: In your dreams, Mark!

[Siobhan]

I desperately want some barefoot shoes also, but the budget won't handle it right now. I just sent my extra dollars to the wildlife center, but I don't regret that. Shoes will wait.

I read an interesting article about how to approach new projects. I can't remember exactly how it went, but something like this:

Expect to succeed.
Know and expect that there will be setbacks.

Those things seem contradictory, but they go hand in hand. I'll have to dig around and find that article - it really helped me when I was changing careers and everything was so overwhelmingly difficult.

[jenn26point2]

I want some barefoot shoes too. I've even been looking at barefoot work shoes (Merrill makes a nice minimalist "work shoe" for a dressier office, but they want $100 for them... I don't even spend $100 on my running shoes if I don't have to). Trying to find a less expensive option at say Walmart or Payless. Sadly, Walmart no longer carries any of those ballet slipper style "shoes" they had last summer.

[Judg]

One thing I am pleased about, is how quickly I felt good again, after a morning of eating as I should. Back in the day, a day like Monday would have been the start of WEEKS of poor eating. If I have gained the ability to stop after one episode, and keep it from turning into a habit, that's HUGE.

That is indeed huge. Imagine if babies quit trying to walk every time they fell down... Learning something new involves not getting it right sometimes. But we get up and try again, and eventually we get there.

And congrats on announcing your intention to push hard for a while. That's what I used to lose weight pre-Primal, I would cut back hard for 3 weeks (never longer) and then spend the next three weeks forcing my body to accept the new status quo. I think that is how I managed to beat the ghrelin demons, by never pushing myself into full famine mode. Now, I don't think it works quite the same with Primal, but making a determined push to get past a stubborn number still seems to me to be a good way of going about things. We will be here cheering for you. I've had a few of those stubborn numbers myself, where I would just bounce up off of them, over and over. In the end, I was more stubborn. And I think you are too.

[Sabine]

I'm taking my daughters to their schools early today, due to AP test scheduling, so I'm just jotting down yesterday quickly before I go make lunches.

Up at 6:10
Vitamins

11:45 1C ground beef marinara
1oz salami
1 oz gouda

3:15 one pepper strip with
artichoke- jalapeno-cream cheese dip

6:00 BAS with
bacon, ham, chicken, hard-boiled egg
lettuce, cabbage, broccoli, peppers, radish, carrot
homemade buttermilk-blue cheese dressing- yum!

8:30 1 1/2C ground beef marinara
cheddar
12 e
1 slice ham with
artichoke-jalapeno-cream cheese dip

Walking: 70 minutes

Water: 9 glasses

Bed at 9:00 Up at 11:15 for child transport Back to Bed at 12:00

Big Ass Salads do not fill me up. What's up with that? Will I adjust? Did I not eat enough? Also, the amazing influx of raw veggies gives me stomach cramps. I've noticed both these before. Maybe I need to eat them more often? Now that it is spring, and I am feeling more like having raw veges, I plan to. Things to consider.

[Lex26]

It's soo much better to improve your health with others' support, huh? People on here help me cancel out all the internal voices that would have me sitting in despair all over again. I'm still struggling with weight, but as far as understanding the complexity of my body and improving where I am mentally, I've really grown since I started journaling here in January.

[Judg]

Sabine, maybe spreading the veggies out more over the day would help? (You do understand that I am just guessing, right?) Or just eating it slowly and taking the time to savour each bite. I find sometimes it's my head that needs to feel full as much as my stomach. Or follow it up with a cup of hot tea. That will sometimes tip me over into satiety, just because it takes up room in my stomach. Hope one or more of these ideas will help you out.

[Sabine]

For lunch today I had a SAS, instead of a BIG one. (leftovers) You're right though, spread out would probably do me fine. I may have embraced the B of BAS a little too enthusiastically. Or is 8 cups completely normal?

[Judg]

For lunch today I had a SAS, instead of a BIG one. (leftovers) You're right though, spread out would probably do me fine. I may have embraced the B of BAS a little too enthusiastically. Or is 8 cups completely normal?

ROFL!!! Good thing it chews down, eh? (Yes, I'm allowed to say eh... We've got a patent on the word up here.)