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  1. #1451
    Judg's Avatar
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    Me fifteen.
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

  2. #1452
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Sabine, do I need to drive my ass out there and rez you? Seriously, chica, I hope all is well or getting well. Thinking of you.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  3. #1453
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    Raising my head slowly over the ridge...

    THAT was a challenging week.

    We lost our phone/computer service and I had to endure many frustrating conversations with machines, trying to reach people. Those automated customer service directories can be nightmares. It brought me to tears twice. I was shouting into the phone, "human being, operator, supervisor, please, just let me speak to a real person!" by the end.

    All the people I managed to speak with were polite, but not able to help us much. It ended with technicians being sent, and sent, and sent, and much non-communication, and 4 1/2 days of no service. Finally they found the fault in a connection box somewhere, and we were reconnected. What a relief!

    I love my library, but walking there twice a day to check emails, and for the kids to do homework, when every other soul who doesn't have a computer is doing the same thing, is not my favorite way of passing my life. And downright tricky when it comes to job searching. How do people do it? I am so grateful to be hooked up to the wires again!

    Now, I just have to see about getting our bill pro-rated, but as it means calling their automated line, I am dreading it.

    Also, our vehicle broke down. More tears. Just me, but Honey was on the edge. It led to him confessing how inadequate he feels, that he can't provide for us. Lots of emotions, trying to support each other without losing it.

    Plus, no wheels for two days. Middlest ended up staying with a friend who lives close to her school.

    And it cost $800, wiping out all the cushion I was holding for college applications, winter coats, gas, the vet, you know, that little stuff. It was all earmarked, but it felt good to have it there, knowing we weren't down to our last hundred bucks.

    Well, back to the edge with us!

    I am so glad we had it, though. We must have transportation. Middlest could ride her bike (through the darkness ) in a pinch, but it is vital that Honey be able to get to job interviews without any last-minute wrangling. There is some public transportation in our area, but you can't always get to where you want to go, and having to walk two miles at the end can make for long travel times. Just not mentally acceptable when you are concentrating on making a good impression.

    We got shots for Chica, had her tested for heartworm (clear!) and started her on the monthly pills. I didn't want to spend it, after the car, but it needed to be done for her health, and our peace of mind. Than as we were walking back from the vet, who should pull up as we passed his house, but our neighbor! I felt obligated to ask if he wanted to take her, so she spent the night over there. Back at our door bright and early, though. I popped that first pill into her lickety-split.

    Last crisis, Halloween Candy. Ate so much CRAP that I felt ill two nights in a row. All my own fault, which only makes it worse. And we spent MONEY on it. Double ugh.

    Beacons of loveliness:
    Middlest got her first college acceptance, one day after she submitted her application online.

    Honey got a call at 5pm on Friday with a quick phone screen, and has two more screens set up for next week. In the desert of contact that is a week of scrambling at the library, and wondering what people are thinking when they get the recoded message that 'this is not a working number', it was good to have something positive happen.

    Got some stuff done. Filing, sorting, throwing out. Made the house physically and mentally nicer to be in.

    And now, in the spirit of NO MORE BREAD, at least for one day, I am going to make myself a breakfast of beef and onions.

    Then go catch up on everyone's journals. That will be a journey!

  4. #1454
    Judg's Avatar
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    Oh Sabine, what a time for you! But you will survive all this, and will someday look back and be grateful for how much better things are in your future present, if you catch what I mean. Speaking from experience here.
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

  5. #1455
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Oh, yuck! Honey, that crap blows worse than a tornado. Hoping and praying for y'all. Congratulations to Middlest! I know that's always a nerve wracking time.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  6. #1456
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    tomi is online now Senior Member
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    Holy cow!!! Good to have that week behind you and find some kind of normal again!

    Tell honey that he is totally capable of taking care of his family - as he has so well in the past - he just has to make that connection with the right employer - and that takes time and effort. God has a plan...... and His timing is always perfect!

    Blessing to you and the family --- prayers for that connection to come soon! and congrats to the soon to be college girl!
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

    Goals: Healthy mind, healthy body, happy soul.

  7. #1457
    Sabine's Avatar
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    Thanks, everyone, for your supportive comments. It really helps.

    Did NOT eat well yesterday. Shortly after my yummy, healthy breakfast (ground beef, onions, salsa, and cheddar) a friend of Honey's called with the news that he was being foreclosed on! We went over with burgers and chips to commiserate. Before we left, we saw the radiator was leaking onto the driveway!! Still plenty of liquid, so we went, but on Monday we'll have to take it in and say WTF!!! Hopefully, it is just a hose that needs to be tightened or something like that. In any case, it better not cost money. Grrr.

    So, I ate chips, and a burger bun, and baked beans, and then some stress ice cream. And some fudge.

    BUT, at least not so much that I felt ill. I'll consider it progress.

    Rather pathetic, that eating chips, and ice cream, and fudge, but not to the point of pain, is progress, but I'll take it.

    Also, our washing machine is not draining. We are diverting it to a tub and bailing.

    I feel like a soap opera. Oh, for the days when I would pose myself questions about the emotions of eating.

    Honey and I are going for a bike ride today.

  8. #1458
    Judg's Avatar
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    I'm sure the bike ride will be good therapy. Your life right now sounds so much like what we went through a number of years ago. Our kids were also giving us grief and we both had health issues. I felt like I was living through an insurrection and being hit by both earthquakes and tornadoes. But we survived, regrouped, and despite current difficulties, are in a much better place now. I really don't know how I would have made it without the highly irrational sense of God's presence through the storm. It was all that kept me going sometimes.
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

  9. #1459
    tomi's Avatar
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    Ditto what Judg says. Although we weren't suffering financial issues, we were suffering daughter issues and marital issues due the daughter issues not being addressed. We went through a very rough couple of years, and I very nearly walked out a couple of times. God very obviously turned us in the direction of a wonderful counselor who helped us deal with it all - and our marriage was saved. In the midst of the storm it feels like things couldn't possibly be any worse!!!

    Sending prayers and hugs to you!!!!
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

    Goals: Healthy mind, healthy body, happy soul.

  10. #1460
    Sabine's Avatar
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    Just got word that my uncle has died. Feeling very sad.

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