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Thread: Show, then aid - Sabine page 113

  1. #1121
    Siobhan's Avatar
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    Actually, I think a lot of trolls are sociopaths at best and at worst psychopaths. They truly have no empathy for others, no sympathy or feelings for others. And they do get pleasure from hurting others. Yes, they are people, they have or had mothers, siblings, someone who loved them for at least a minute or two...but they are scary and missing something that makes us worthwhile human beings and not just people-sized holes in the universe. I've met enough of them in real life.
    My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

    "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

  2. #1122
    Sabine's Avatar
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    Ugh

    Was woken by FOUR texts last night, between 12:25 and 2:45. Three from Littlest, who was over at a friend's. I'll have to have a discussion with her about what is vital to communicate in the middle of the night and what can wait. The other from a friend who should know better (she's got a few years on Littlest). I consider I exercised amazing restraint by not texting back big raspberries!

    It threw my sleep cycles out of whack, so here I am, staggering around the house when I should be getting ready for our friends to come over for games and barbeque.

    Ate well yesterday, with just a touch of sugar cravings. Seems normal, for it to hit again after about three days, so I recognized it for what it was, and dealt with it by using a large slab of liverwurst.

    The pepper pot soup is aging in the fridge. We'll have it for dinner tomorrow, and I'll report back, good or bad.

  3. #1123
    Judg's Avatar
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    Have you tried setting your alerts to something quieter that won't wake you up in the night? I don't think twice about when I send texts (although I don't recall doing it in the middle of the night) because that's what I use to communicate when a timely response is not necessary. If I need an immediate answer, I phone.
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

  4. #1124
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    Grrr

    An unexpected whack of stress yesterday, from one of our guests acting AS A GUEST SHOULD NOT! I found myself stuffing banana chips in my mouth. Sugary, but not so bad. Then potato chips, that a friend brought! Aarrghhh! Luckily I stopped after eight of those, but not through any virtue. Rather, they were gone.

    Well, at least with guests over, I was prevented from going to the store and getting a half gallon of rocky road ice cream, which was what I really wanted to do. Once they were gone I told my Honey we were NOT having this person over in conjunction with other people again. It will have to be solitary entertaining. I was able to stay calm about expressing my needs in this matter, and he understood, because he could see the behavior was not acceptable, either.

    Too bad it is just not polite to tell someone they are being rude. I did my durn'dest, still being the best hostess I could be, but it was a definite CHALLENGE to my composure. There's only so much 'jollying' I am capable of before the cracks start to show.

    Ugh. At least it is over. But it turned what was supposed to be a fun occasion, into an ordeal, all because of one person.

    Part of my desire for the ice cream was a need to treat myself. Amazingly, I figured this out BEFORE getting ice cream! (Mostly since the situation went on and on and on. I had plenty of time to stew.) I was able to convince myself that the transitory pleasure of the ice cream would not be a treat if I had to pay for it with feeling poorly and having trouble getting back on track. Which we all know is what would happen.

    But the mind is a tricky little weasel. I know that desire for a treat is still lurking. So today I AM treating myself. Just not with food. I am going to do the bare minimum of stuff I HAVE TO, and lounge around, reading and watching movies. Cheap, no sugar involved, and I can do it in the privacy of my own home in my pajamas. I will feel NO GUILT, because I DO deserve a treat. I didn't rip the guest's head off, or banish him from the house. I think the others still had a reasonable if not great time(this is a major save, in my opinion). I was calm afterwards. All this is practically super-human.

    Aside from the banana chips and eight potato chips, only good stuff was eaten, including tri-tip, chicken skewers, mashed cauliflower, and spinach paneer. I made no dessert (GASP!) so I wouldn't be tempted. Everyone survived.

  5. #1125
    Judg's Avatar
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    Bravo! It sounds like you handled this about as well as could be done. And alternate treats are a fantastic idea.
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

  6. #1126
    Sabine's Avatar
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    Recruiters are the worst kind of flirts. A big disappointment yesterday, from what we were considering a sure thing. It was hard to take. I may have cried a little. A peanut butter and jam sandwich with a tall glass of milk happened.

    On to a new day. Something good is coming. Something good is coming. Something good is coming.

  7. #1127
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sabine View Post
    Yesterday went well. Only good food eaten. I was hungry late in the night, but it was True Hunger, so I just told it to go away until morning and it did.

    Was hungry upon awakening, and made a plate of fried ground beef, onions, mushrooms, cheese, and avocado. I have had that several times in the past few days. Something about it is just very appealing right now.

    I was looking through the nutrition threads this morning, and a strange thought popped into my head.

    DISCLAIMER: I am not saying trolls are incipient terrorists. I am just musing.

    A troll(or a reasonable facsimile thereof) dropped into a thread I have been reading. It made me wonder, not for the first time, what do trolls get out of it? I tried to put myself in the mindset of someone dropping a comment just to get negative reaction. What does that feel like? What could be the pleasurable aspects of the activity, and what kind of personality enjoys that?

    The image that came to my mind was someone stirring an ant pile, and reveling in the commotion. Lack of empathy seems necessary to find that fun.

    Not many of us empathize (fully) with ants, and I don't think it is needed to be a caring person. But empathy for our own species (at a minimum) I think IS needed.

    Will anyone's life be ruined because they were baited by a troll? Likely not. (That would be some troll!) But just as torturing has an effect on the torturer, and not just the victim, what does it do to your psyche and soul, to aggravate people? To enjoy setting them off?

    Right after the ant pile image, I thought of that Norwegian shooter. And the Oklahoma bomber. And...well, there are too many images that came to mind. Horrible ones, and yet many of these people got satisfaction from committing these awful acts. They enjoyed seeing people put into turmoil.

    I think I will be looking at trolls differently now.

    It made me sad to think of.

    And I was just looking for some light-hearted fasting info.
    Quote Originally Posted by Siobhan View Post
    Actually, I think a lot of trolls are sociopaths at best and at worst psychopaths. They truly have no empathy for others, no sympathy or feelings for others. And they do get pleasure from hurting others. Yes, they are people, they have or had mothers, siblings, someone who loved them for at least a minute or two...but they are scary and missing something that makes us worthwhile human beings and not just people-sized holes in the universe. I've met enough of them in real life.
    My brother in law is a real-life troll. He has been a troll in my life since I was in middle school. I despise him and my despite for him carries over to my sister-in-law and their son at times. I try to control that because his wife and son are not him... DH also can't stand him - for similar reasons, but not with the same context. I had no idea DH disliked him until this weekend. It was a nice bonding moment to learn that we both nearly hate the same person. This discussion was had when BIL called DH on Saturday to pick on him about how badly the Iowa Hawkeyes were doing against Northern Illinois. The phone was plugged in to be charged, so I went to grab it for him and DH said to leave it. I said "but it's BIL" and he said "So?" So I left it... then later he checked his phone and said "Good. BIL didn't leave a message". I was a bit surprised by his tone so I said "you don't want to talk to BIL?" he said "hell no! I can't stand him!" which shocked me to the core b/c they used to do so much together and BIL was his best man at our wedding. Turns out BIL has done his troll bit on DH and has worn him raw as well, but his troll bit with DH regarded racing, whereas with me he just picks apart everything I think and say. So, long story short... trolls are everywhere and like Siobhan said, they get some kind of sick pleasure out of pushing people's buttons - I liken them to bullies.

    (another little illustration... when BIL is actually legitimately asking a question he wants a real answer to, he has to preface it with a statement along the lines of "now, I'm not judging, I'm honestly inquiring" or something along those lines. We were at dinner once and DH and I ordered an appetizer and he was questioning the Primality of said appetizer... if he was a NORMAL human being he would not have to preface his questions like that...)
    Last edited by jenn26point2; 09-05-2012 at 06:57 AM.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  8. #1128
    Sabine's Avatar
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    I'm scared - time out for a pity party

    Ever since 2002 we have been pretty much living paycheck to paycheck after my Honey had a two-year period of unemployment, and we went through most of our savings. I had two miscarriages and a cancer scare right around then, as well, and I am sure it affected how I dealt with handling stress. Honey has had jobs since, but always on contract, and even when the amount went up, it seemed so did our living expenses, as we began hitting the years with teenagers and then college-goers. And then when the economy went south a couple of years ago, so did his pay rate. We've never been able to build our cushion back up.

    And now he's being let go from a position that he's done great at, but the company is outsourcing to cheaper employees. He's spent the last six months training his replacement and replacements for others in the department who bailed as fast as they could when they saw what was happening. He shows up and is conscientious, won't even take recruiter calls 'on company time', and they are screwing him to the wall. It kills me to see how it hurts him.

    (And as a side note, the poor workers they have outsourced to! They are on a low salary, and are on call 24 hours a day. No comp time for when they are up until 3am working an issue, and they better be there at 8 the next morning, or there will be hell to pay. I know it is better than what they can make in their country, but it is a painful thing to see. What kind of an example of America is this? It is so exploitive(sp?), it makes me ashamed.)

    Although we will not be out on our butts in a month, I can see that any unemployment longer than a month will have me doing things like selling everything at a garage sale, asking relatives for money, telling our kids 'No, no, no.' I am not good at 'no'.

    We moved a lot when I was a kid, always renting, and owning our home is VERY IMPORTANT to me. I am worrying about making the mortgage, having to think for the first time, 'how long does it take before they do foreclosure?' I hate it, I hate it!

    I feel very shaky this morning. Just scared. I know it will pass, but it sure is freaking me out right now. Trying to distract myself with chores (and now, internet) but I am finding it very hard to focus. It is good to vent.

  9. #1129
    Sabine's Avatar
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    Went out and did a good deed, which had the side benefit of getting myself out of my head for a while, so I am feeling calmer.

    Everything passes.

  10. #1130
    Judg's Avatar
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    Sabine, so sorry you are going through this. We went through a very prolonged rocky period some years back, so I understand only too well. And truth be told, my hubby is holding on to a job that is getting increasingly stressful and more precarious, just because there is so incredibly little mobility in his field. And his employer is the type who would consider letting him go if he weren't "fully on board", like, looking for other opportunities. We can only do our best, and throw ourselves on God's mercy.
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

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