Gravyboat's Log, Stardate 59575.1 page 56

[Owly]

Oh, but when you have less fat and more muscle, they are not skinny legs but they don't rub the same way. I definitely don't miss the chub rub on the thighs. But I've never, ever had legs that look like the ones in that photo.

The knee bones are weird. I can't sleep with my knees stacked together anymore because they dig into each other. My thighs are still big, but now the big is front-to-back from muscle rather than so much fat on my inner thighs.

[Gravyboat]

My thighs are still big, but now the big is front-to-back from muscle rather than so much fat on my inner thighs.

Makes sense. My thighs are really thick front-to-back too, and it's mostly hard muscle. My inner thighs are all squish, and they will probably take off at some point. That's really the most important thing to me, and I'm not that worried about it.

It might be nice to have super skinny thighs like that, but mostly I just wanted to post a picture of a girl in yoga pants feeling up another girl's ass. I sincerely doubt my legs will ever look like that, and it won't be a huge loss. As long as my thighs stop rubbing together and I lose this loose skin that's going on, I will be happy.

[namelesswonder]

Haha I like the picture and approve of your alterior motives. I want that girl's ass.

[WaylandC]

Your loss of lean mass could just be a decrease in the general amount of water you are retaining.

Yoga pants are winners but those legs are not. The flesh-tube legs are gross too because that doesn't look like an active, fit girl. I doubt she's ever done a squat for exercise.

For improvement in the muscles of your posterior chain, try romanian deadlifts also known as stiff-legged deadlifts (maintaining a slight bend in the knees, not locked straight).

[Gravyboat]

For improvement in the muscles of your posterior chain, try romanian deadlifts also known as stiff-legged deadlifts (maintaining a slight bend in the knees, not locked straight).

I've been meaning to do those for a long time but haven't had access to the gym in forever. I wonder if I can do them with the sledgehammer.

[cori93437]

Haha I like the picture and approve of your alterior motives. I want that girl's ass.

Ohhhh, good lawd.... that deserves a *thoughtful pause*

[Owly]

I <3 my posterior chain. Actually, I'm fond of posterior chains in general.

[Gravyboat]

Ugh, my worms are cranky. After those mushrooms, I noticed the bin was smelling more and more weird. Kind of a milky acetate kind of smell. I tried aerating the bin, but it didn't help. Finally, I went in and removed every recognizable food scrap in there, thinking the bin must be going sour and something in there has to be causing it. There were several black, dried-up banana peels still in one piece. Took those out. Then there was something I was not expecting: an entire fucking peach! How the hell did that even get in there? I think I must have thrown it in before I even got the worms, back when I grabbed a bunch of moldy fruit at the market in an attempt to get the bin properly "colonized" before the worms arrived. But, uh.. Yeah, so I didn't know that was in there. Whoops.

Anyway, I removed it, and the bin smells better again, but the worms are angry now and have been trying to escape for the last two days. And also there are tons of tiny red mites all over the lid (not the same mites that were in my bathroom). Fucking vermiculture! You worms need to shut up, go downstairs, and eat some cardboard. Stop crawling up and trying to leave, damn you! I fixed the problem, so I don't know why you're so mad!

I hate when the worms try to crawl out because it means I have to shine light on them at night to force them back down. And my apartment is not very big, so that means I get light shined on me at night too. What a bunch of assholes. Damn worms.

In other news, I started using a special calendar program to try and cajole myself into doing things every day that I don't like doing and sticking to my responsibilities. Basically, for every day you perform your responsibility, you get to mark the day green. If you don't do it, you get a big red box of shame instead. The idea is that you don't want any red boxes, and if you do have to mark one it will stick out as a failure and affect your self esteem. You can't go back in time, so a failure cannot be fixed afterward. It will just sit there mocking you. So, to keep the green boxes going, you will want to keep doing what you need to do.

I've only been doing it 2 days so far, but I like it. I am tracking 5 different things right now that all need to be done every day: exercising, cleaning the cat box, sticking to my diet, taking a shower, and brushing my teeth. Yes, I'll admit it: I hate taking showers and I hate brushing my teeth. So I am hoping this motivates me to do those things far more than I currently do. So far so good. It feels good to mark boxes green, and I want to keep it going. It's not like these are difficult things to do, and the psychological reward of marking a success is currently outweighing my disdain, so I'm not dragging my feet too much. Eventually I am going to add in doing dishes, because that is something that I HATE doing that NEVER gets done. But for now I will stick with these 5.

[Sabine]

Big red boxes of shame just make me rip up the chart. But it is good to find the thing that motivates YOU. I still love gold stars.

[Gravyboat]

******50LBS LOST!!!!!******
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~

As of today, I am 210lbs. 50% done, 50lbs to go! It has been just over 6 months. There have been several plateaus along the way, but I understand why they happened now, and I think the second half will go more smoothly now that I know better what my body needs and thrives on.

I know that weight comes off more slowly as you get smaller, but I am redoubling my efforts. I fucked around a lot in the first half. I didn't work very hard and wasn't very disciplined. But now I have a fun, effective, and inexpensive exercise program that I really enjoy, and it only takes 15 minutes a day. I'm committed to staying very-low-carb, and don't have any more fanciful notions that I can eat a little chocolate here and a little fruit there and stay on track. I know now that that doesn't work for me, so hopefully I can avoid any future plateaus due to diet negligence. Now that I know what I need to do, I can just chug along, and I'm actually predicting that the second half will go faster than the first.

I want to be at or close to 160lbs by January 1, 2013. I really think I can do 100lbs in a year, and the results I've seen recently (increased muscle mass, no longer plus sized, knee bones knocking together, face dramatically thinner, shoulders completely firm, etc) have been super encouraging. I no longer feel like I'm hoping for something that may or may not happen. I feel now like I'm almost there, that it's just a matter of waiting a few more months, that an easy success is assured as long as I keep working. And of course I'm going to keep working, because this is my life now. It doesn't even feel like work. I truly enjoy what I'm doing, and I have no desire to quit.

To be honest, I'm still a little stunned that I've lost 50lbs in 6 months. I would never have imagined that I could lose this much weight. And it's been easy. I actually feel a little guilty, like I've cheated somehow, because I didn't think losing a ton of weight was supposed to be this effortless. But, right now I weigh what I did in middle school. 6 months from now I'll be thin for the first time in my life. It still doesn't quite seem real. But it is!

I still think I might like to lose more than 100, but I won't know for sure until I get there. All I can do right now is keep going. And I intend to!