Gravyboat's Log, Stardate 59575.1 page 42

[Gravyboat]

UGH, these cravings are so bad. I ate a big plate of bacon and eggs but still don't feel full more than an hour later. My body keeps screaming at me "GO BUY ICE CREAM. GO BUY CANDY BARS. GO BUY SODA." and I'm like "I DON'T EVEN LIKE CANDY BARS, WHY DO THEY SOUND SO GOOD RIGHT NOW????"

My brain feels cloudy and my stomach feels like a pit. I don't know what the deal is, but this really sucks. I hope I have the willpower to see this through, because it has to end at some point, right?

[Gravyboat]

Ok, I did not want to go out today at all. But I had an order waiting at the butcher, so I sort of had to. Walked a little over 3 miles, round trip. I'm beat. It was really not an enjoyable walk. I just don't have a lot of energy today and I feel sorta crabby.

The good news: I got 3 chickens and a pound of beef fat. And I stopped at the local candle/antique/knick-knack shop run by little old ladies and bought 3 soap balls for my bathroom. 65 cents each. They smell good.

Also: I stood in the butcher shop, face-to-face with a can of Mtn Dew, AND I DIDN'T BUY IT. They also had ice cream AND I DIDN'T BUY IT. Small victories. I'm going to have to walk to the CVS in a few days for toilet paper, though, and they have haagen dazs and fancy chocolate. That is going to require a lot of willpower, so I'm putting it off for now. I just keep reminding myself that, if I give in to my body's demand for sugar, it is just going to keep burning sugar instead of fat. And, afterward, the cravings will probably just continue. If I refuse to give in, it'll eventually have to switch over to fat-burning mode just to get fed, and the cravings should stop. So.. ugh. Trying not to give in. SO HARD.

I seriously don't even like candy bars, so it is insane how badly I want one right now.

[Gravyboat]

218 today! Didn't eat dinner yesterday and went to bed early because I just felt run down. Cravings somewhat diminished, but I still want ice cream. Still feeling tired and crabby, but that may have more to do with my asshole cats waking me up by meowing uncontrollably, running around, crashing into things, and punting toys around my bedroom at 5:30 this morning. Oh the joys of pet ownership.

FINALLY FOUND OUT WHOSE PHONE IT IS THAT RINGS ALL FUCKING DAY EVERY DAY. Drives me FUCKING CRAZY. It is 8:30am right now and the phone has already gone off 5 times. And they never fucking answer it, so this is not like 2 rings. It's 5-6. And whoever calls them often decides to call, hang up on the answering machine, and then call back 2-3 times. Meanwhile, I hear that fucking ringer from every room of my house.

But yeah, I looked out the window today in anger while it was going off and could see the light on the phone charger blinking along with the rings in someone's apartment. So now I know who to send hate mail to. And, believe me, they are going to hear from me. The phone is right fucking next to the window and the ringer is the most high-pitched, loud, obnoxious ring I've ever heard. NEWSFLASH: SOUNDS IN ALLEYS BOUNCE. I CAN HEAR FUCKING EVERYTHING. I HATE YOU WITH ALL THAT I AM.

I need ice cream. I'm dying. All my rage.

[Sabine]

Love the speckles on that left-hand egg in the middle row. It is so beautiful, it deserves a picture all to itself.

Just a little nice note about the loud ring will probably take care of it- don't escalate to hate mail right off the bat. They may not even realize how loud it is to others. The old honey vs. vinegar argument, and don't forget, your powerful ice cream urges may be affecting your personal grumpiness level.

How did your pork rinds turn out? Funny about the nipples, I never thought about them on pork rinds, but of course, where else would they be?

[Gravyboat]

The pork rinds didn't turn out. They pretty much just turned dark red and then burned. I think the problem is that the rind I got was already cured, so it was basically already cooked and couldn't puff up the way I wanted it to. It sucked though because my whole kitchen smelled like smoke. Had to put a fan in the window to blow it all out. It's embarrassing because my apartment always emits tasty food smells, but I know that anyone who walked by my door that night could smell my failure.

Re: my proposed hate mail to my neighbor with the phone, THEY SERIOUSLY DESERVE MY WRATH. It is now 2:30pm and the phone has rung 11 times so far. That is not okay. That being said, I am going to write a nice note with a smiley face and a plea to just relocate the phone away from the window or turn down the ringer (OR BOTH), with pleases and thank-yous and all that crap. But seriously, if nothing gets done about it, I am not beyond getting a pellet gun and sniping that fucking phone. I have had it.

You're right, though, that I am extra-cranky right now. But this all-day-every-day phone-ringing bullshit has been going on for months and I am seriously going insane.

[Gravyboat]

WHOA WHOA

215 today!!!!!!!!?!!

Yeah okay, I'm not eating sugar anymore. This crankiness + cravings bullshit has sucked a lot, but I've lost 5lbs in a couple days.

Granted, I've also been eating only one meal a day, but I haven't been very hungry, and there were days in the past month I was only eating once a day too. And nothing happened then.

BUT OMG WOOOOOOOOO FINALLY LOSING WEIGHT AGAIN WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[canio6]

Nice. Very nice indeed. Congratulations

[Gravyboat]

WOOOOOOOO! I feel like I've won something. So excited!

[canio6]

WOOOOOOOO! I feel like I've won something. So excited!

I'm pretty sure your neighbor feels the same way every time you leave your blinds open. Just sayin'

Glad things are going well for you on the weight loss front. I hope it continues.

[Gravyboat]

I'm pretty sure your neighbor feels the same way every time you leave your blinds open. Just sayin'

Haha. I still find that whole situation super funny. Good for him if he's enjoying himself, I guess. Lol.

PS: 34.75" waist, 46.75" hips :O That's crazy! So I'm guessing I've successfully survived keto flu. I don't have any ketostix (those things are $$$) so I don't know for sure what's going on. We'll see what happens, I guess.