Gravyboat's Log, Stardate 59575.1 page 39

[Pebbles67]

Gravy, I am so glad you found the Primal Blueprint. It has saved my life too.

[Gravyboat]

So I went to the store today and bought some green plastic army men, a tiny plastic treasure chest, and a plastic dwarf mini for $1 total. I'm pleased. Of course, I am so poor right now that I bought them using laundry quarters, but that is beside the point. And anyway, tomorrow is $~payday~$.

[Gravyboat]

UGH. I made poor choices today. I went out for breakfast because I was out of food and just got paid. It was a celebration breakfast. So, what did I have? Well I ordered bacon and eggs, which came with hashbrowns. Potatoes aren't great but they're not horrible, I thought to myself, so that should be fine. Ugh. The bacon was the most piss-poor, cardboard-tasting crap I've ever had, and the eggs tasted powdered. The hashbrowns were basically shredded cardboard soaked in corn oil. Disgusting.

So, in a moment of shining brilliance, I decided to set aside this cruel mockery of food and instead have coffee and cake for breakfast.

COFFEE AND CAKE. Now I'm paying the price.

My stomach hurts so bad, you guys. So bad I kind of want to curl up in a fetal position and wail. So bad I was having trouble concentrating on conversations at the flea market today and had to work to keep a smile on my face. Also, my back aches, and my voice seems raspy. I can't make hard tones, like my vocal cords are swollen or something. Now I'm experiencing some chest pain over my left breast. The same kind of weird, unexplained internal pains I used to feel pretty often. And, as I lay here on the couch, I feel like I'm developing a headache as well.

This is horrible. If I ever feel like eating wheat or milk again, especially in the SAME MEAL, I hope I stab myself in the face instead. It'd probably be less painful. How the hell did I used to eat this shit?? No wonder I felt so fucking miserable all the time!

[Gravyboat]

Kind of seriously considering going to the urgent care. It currently hurts to breathe and my head really hurts. My vision is also a little blurry.

[Owly]

Yikes! Hoping you're okay.

[Gravyboat]

Chest pain is mostly gone, but headache remains, vision is still blurry, and I feel very tired. My tongue felt swollen for a little while, but I think it's fine now. Crisis averted, probably.

So anyway, I initially had chest pain about half an hour after eating the cake, but it went away pretty quickly so I didn't think much of it. I figured it was some kind of heart thing after eating so much sugar (what with the frosting). My friend turned on a song with thumping bass and I felt like I was having a heart attack. That was unpleasant. After the chest pain went away, I just had crampy stomach pain that increased in severity. Then, after 6 hours, the chest pain suddenly came back even worse. Apparently that's an anaphylaxis thing, which would suggest an allergy.

I don't know exactly what I experienced or why, but right now I'm going with: wheat allergy. I mean, I obviously had a reaction to the wheat (in addition to the stomach pain caused by the cream, which I knew was coming as soon as I decided to have some), and the wheat reaction seemed a lot more like an allergic reaction than a digestive intolerance.

So there you go: wheat allergy, lactose intolerance.

Now all I have to do is develop a reaction to peanuts and shellfish and I'll be the poster child of the new era.

[Gravyboat]

Actually, come to think of it, I have had periods during primal where I've had headaches for several days in a row, and then suddenly I'm fine again. The headaches tend to happen at night/before bed. I haven't been able to figure out why they keep happening, because I have always associated headaches with dehydration, and drinking plenty of water has not helped.

The last time I had several days of headaches was last week. The same days I was eating peanut butter. Which I tend to eat in curry form, for dinner, for ~4 days in a row. And then I get headaches as I'm winding down for bed and wonder why.

Apparently peanuts give lots of people headaches. It's an allergic reaction. I had no idea! So I might be allergic to peanuts after all.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Owly]

Peanuts give me a stomach ache if I eat too many. I think a lot of people are sensitive to them even if they're not full-on allergic.

[Gravyboat]

Yeah, I think peanuts are just bad news in general. I thought I was safe, but if it turns out they really are causing my headaches, then I guess I'll have to stop eating peanut butter. I mean, if it was just mild headaches, I might just ignore it, but these are terrible. They feel like my head's in a vise. I don't take painkillers unless I really, really need them, and I need them for these.

I'm gonna be honest, I have always kind of looked down on people with all sorts of food allergies and intolerances. Like, it has always seemed like just some kind of snobby upper-crust white kid thing to have 8 billion allergies and nitpick every last thing you eat. So I kind of really don't want to be one of those, though I guess I technically already became one when I went primal. Still, at least then it was elective, and I was choosing to limit my food options, and could choose to eat crap if I wanted to. Now I know that if I eat wheat again, I will long for death. And I am fairly certain that peanuts cause me to have terrible headaches. And I already knew that milk (and some cheese) makes my stomach ache like I got punched in the gut. So now I have to be vigilant about that shit. Now I have to be a snobby, privileged, upper-crust white kid just so I won't feel like absolute crap. But I do not want to come off to people as a tremendous prissy princess. And I don't want to look like I'm claiming food allergies just because it's the "cool" thing to do. I just don't want to long for death.

Thankfully, I know I can eat a little wheat without feeling too miserable. For instance, I've eaten breaded chicken and felt ok afterward. Not great, but I didn't have a medical emergency either. So at least I don't have to be worried about tiny crumbs or anything. I'd want to punch myself in the face if I ever had to send things back in restaurants because they touched wheat. At that point, it mostly looks like "bad juju" melodramatic superstition, although I'm sure it's necessary for some people. Still, I would not be able to live with myself, personally.

[Gravyboat]

Huh, I just noticed my nose is clogged up just like it always used to be. And this after noticing (and savoring) several times in the past few weeks just how clear my sinuses were for the first time in memory.

Goddamn wheat. Fuck that stuff.