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Thread: Gravyboat's Log, Stardate 59575.1 page 31

  1. #301
    Gravyboat's Avatar
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    What the fuck, you guys.

    So I was cruising CL out of boredom and loneliness and saw a really cute chubby beardo (totally my type) looking for a girlfriend. I messaged saying how I thought he was super cute and told him about myself.

    Then he messaged me back asking for nude pics.

    Why do I even fucking bother with dudes!! Ugh.

    _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

  2. #302
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    Okay, seriously, WTF is up with dudes who think that asking you for nudes or sending their dick pics is a good idea? It's just gross and offensive and highly unlikely to lead to getting laid. Especially if you're posting looking for a girlfriend, not a casual encounter!

    Stuff like that is why I'm pretty certain that if something should happen to end my current relationship, I am done with dating dudes. To be clear, I'm quite happy with my partner and I think he's awesome, but dating white, straight, cisgender men brings a lot of frustration.
    “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

    Owly's Journal

  3. #303
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    Quote Originally Posted by Owly View Post
    but dating white, straight, cisgender men brings a lot of frustration.
    we love you too

    dating in general brings lots of frustration, and while I have never been a lesbian, reading this journal makes me think that that scene is just as big a pain in the genitalia. As for dudes asking for nudes, yeah, that is just weak, I definitely agree with you on that one, but chubby beardo does not scream 'ladies man' at least to me, but then again, wtf do I know? Either way, I wish you both luck in your current and future dating dramas. If nothing else it is entertaining to see that women get just as frustrated with the whole dating scene as guys do.

  4. #304
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    To be fair, I probably have as little luck as I do in the lesbian scene because I don't actually look like a lesbian. If I cut all my hair off and stopped wearing skirts, I would probably get attention. Sometimes I think about doing that, but I have to remind myself that caving to social pressures and looking like how I'm "supposed to look" is just as lame in the gay community as it is in the straight community. I'm already a full and complete human being with my own sense of style, and I don't need to change it just so I fit other people's narrow expectations. It just means I am also not going to get laid much/at all.

    Some chubby beardos are really sweet and nice. They're not all dimwitted assholes. But yeah, straight white cisgendered guys, more than often, are self-entitled douchebags who feel like they're owed sex by women. Most of them have never even stopped to consider social power dynamics, they just go around merrily abusing the fact that they're on top of the world without a thought in their heads. How nice that must be. Feel like asking someone in a lower social class for nudes? Why not, you're a man and you're owed nude pics. Most likely she'll just giggle and comply because that's what she's been taught to do. Social power! Hooray.

    Basically, fuck all of that. I'm going to be the person that I am, and I'm not going to take any bullshit. It probably means I'll never get laid again in my life, but if the alternative is throwing my own identity in the trash, looking how other people think I should look, and having to giggle and hand out nude pics, then fuck it. I will willingly hang out by myself with my vibrator and never date again.

    _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

  5. #305
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    Hmmm...well, I have been a white male for a long time. I've been cisgendered for about a month since before then I had not heard the term. That said, I've never noticed any kind of social power dynamic. Perhaps that is because I am blissfully ignorant. I do not think I've ever gotten a job, a loan, or any such else by benefit of my white, hetero maleness nor has it been great as scoring me nudes. All in all I feel pretty cheated.

    As for looking like a lesbian, I have to say I find this a touch disappointing as I am an idiot and think that people, especially those who are given sh*t for not being white/hetro/male/whatever, would be nice and kind and accepting. I thought a lesbian looked like a woman and length of hair etc was merely decoration. It seems I have much to learn.

    As for chubby beardos, I was being a touch self-deprecating as I would be a chubby beardo if work allowed facial hair. I think it is safe to say that chubby beardos like all people come in ranges from sweet to ahole. I admittedly fluctuate based on mood.

    You seem to have the right idea by being who you are. I've found in my older age that this works best. If I can't make everyone happy I will make myself happy first.

    Good luck

  6. #306
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    Went swimming for a couple hours today and checked out a local farmer's market. Most of the booths were selling stuff grown on small plots tucked in unused corners around the city. Pretty cool.

    I bought some local mostly-grassfed onion-garlic cheese. OMG it's so good. I also tried some 100%-grassfed raw milk cheddar. OMGGG it just melts in your mouth. It was so good, but that onion-garlic stuff is just delicious.

    I've learned that I don't tolerate dairy that well, but I'm just going to have small amounts of this stuff as a treat. I'm almost completely out of chocolate, so it'll be a good replacement treat to keep me from going to buy more. Speaking of that, I think I'm going to downgrade back to 85% from 90% when I do eventually go buy more. The 90% barely even feels like a treat and does not satisfy my sweet cravings. It's more like having a cup of coffee. Kinda tastes like it too.

    Crap, I need to take my recycling out tonight and I already took my clothes off. FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

    _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

  7. #307
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    Oh and I ordered my worms today. Read some poor reviews of the place I ordered from; people saying they counted and did not get the amount of worms they paid for. So I'm going to count them when I get them.

    Also I just got done hanging those paisley sheets. Looks really good, actually!! It totally looks like dark, ritzy wallpaper. I'm excited.

    ...Dear god, I'm buying local grassfed cheese to eat as a dessert, I'm going to spend an afternoon next week counting my brand new mail-order worms, and I'm excited about nailing used second-hand sheets to my walls. No wonder I never get laid.

    _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

  8. #308
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    Oh I'm sore today from all that swimming. I had a feeling I would be, because I already felt sore last night. I'm at 221 today. Been hovering around 221-222 the last several days. I'm having an active couple of days though so I hope I'm in for a drop soon.

    Going to the farmers market today, which means a couple miles of walking. And tomorrow I'm doing the flea market and spending several hours walking around the arts festival happening near my house.

    Busy busy. (I better get under 220 for all this crap! RAARRGRRHHRHRR)

    _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

  9. #309
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    ASKJGAJKGAF

    I feel like a corpse. Just walked 3 miles, the last half carrying ~40lbs of groceries. Then I carried them up to the 4th floor. It's 86 degrees out. The minute I got inside I shambled into the bathroom and guzzled nearly 40oz of water half naked with my feet in the tub. Then I made sweat angels on my bed while moaning in misery.

    My feet are like two big blisters. And my thighs have friction burns.

    FEEL BAD FOR ME, I AM SO MISERABLE, AHHHHHHHH

    The good news: I walked over to the garden at the end of the street by the farmers market and offered my services as a volunteer. Everyone there was super nice, especially the guy in charge. He gave me his card and told me to email him and we'd talk about hours. I told him I am available like every day. My people!! <3

    Also, I chatted with the one gay lady at the pork stand. I came over and was like "Hi! 3lbs of bacon, please!" and she smiled and said "How do you want it?" and then she was like "Wait uh.. I mean!.. How do you want your bacon.. Like.. in pound packages or.. You know?.. I didn't mean it that way!" Heh. So cute! I told her "It's okay if you did."

    We also chatted about Pride coming up, and gossiped about all the cute girls working at the market. I told her I thought the lady at the egg counter was super dreamy and she was like "I totally know who you're talking about!!" It was good times.

    Tomorrow I'll be walking a lot too so I hope my feet recover! I can probably bandage my thighs up (or wear pants, blegh), so that should be ok. But it hurts so bad even standing right now. At least I have 40lbs of food in my fridge now. I had a ton of food stamps in my account ($150 for the rest of the month) so I went and bought fancy shit. A 7lb pork butt, 5 big marrow bones, 3lbs of ground sirloin, gay bacon, some really nice-looking strawberries.. Oh, and I stole some rotting fruit/vegetables/watermelon rinds from the trash bins behind the produce vendors for my compost bin. The nice guy I always buy from told me I could steal anything out of there.

    I wanted to buy a chicken and some eggs, but I don't think I could have carried anything else home. I barely made it home alive as it is!

    PS: Walking all the way to the rapid station instead of taking a bus there means I did not have to pay, because the Cleveland public transportation system goes by the honor system for the rapids, which is REALLY stupid for them, but good for me. So I saved $5! Hooray.

    _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

  10. #310
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    Oh, for fuck's sake!! I lost my SECOND rainbow heart pin!! Now two separate pins have fallen off my purse! I bought the second one after the first fell off! I AM NOT BUYING ANOTHER ONE. I kind of want to go out and retrace my steps, but my feet hurt so bad..

    _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

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