dropkickallie's primal journal
I started a FitDay Account around Feb 1, but didn't see this forum until today. I've been keeping a journal on FitDay, but I won't go back and include all that in this. I will state my reasons and goals for this lifestyle change and keep this journal updated daily.
my main goals for changing my lifestyle:
look good naked!!! I look good clothed, size 4/6, well proportioned, but i want to look smoking hot naked.
teach my children how to be healthier to improve their lives
make myself proud of something i accomplish with my body
honor God by nourishing my body as He instructed & strengthen myself to better serve
run in a race, something i've never done before but always wanted to do
a little background:
30 y/o female, married, 2 children- ages 5 yrs and 18 mo.
5'1", current weight 141. heighest weight was 170, that was 6 years ago. i've steadily lost weight. i was at my heighest weight right before getting pregnant with my son. during pregnancy i go up to 198!!!! it was a complete miracle that i didn't have gestational diabetes but i do feel like even being that heavy for a small amount of time has been detrimental to my longterm health. after my first pregnancy i was able to lose the 'baby weight' plus 25 lbs. stayed at 145 for about a year, went 'low carb' but not paleo and worked out with a personal trainer for 18 months and got down to 135. stayed there for 2 years, got pregnant again, had a very healthy active pregnancy, didn't eat many carbs, except for fruit, because that was what i was craving the whole time... meat and fruit! lost all the baby weight and got back down to 135 within 9 months without working out. oh, the joys of breastfeeding. since cessation of breastfeeding however, i've gained back 10lbs +/-. Even at 135 I feel a little heavier than my ideal weight. I feel healthier the lighter i am and am definitely more active. i have several races planned in the next 6 months, something i've never done before but have always dreamed of doing. not for the want to compete, but just to experience it and enjoy it. i'm talking short fun races, like the color run. i am doing the spartan race next month, too, but i have no plan for that but to survive and FINISH it! i work full time, my husband is AD and deployed, and with 2 small kids i'm not going to waste precious time 'training' in a gym. i take my 5 y/o to the rock climbing gym for fun (and a workout!) and daily playing in the yard or at home is sometimes my only 'workout'. i spend 4-8 hours a day at a desk, so the bulk of my daytime is sedentary when i'm not working, i'm playing with the kids, cooking for them, cleaning, or doing other chores/errands.
also, my son has SID, sensory integration disorder. we were gluten free from the time he was 22 months old until he was 38 months old. then, my husband felt like buying gf snacks was a waste of money because i ended up buying double the chips/cookies/crackers/breads so we could have our whole grain wheat thins and 7 grain bread and he could have his rice crackers and tapioca bread. when we took him off the GF restrictions his speech progress slowed down drastically, his behavior and mood swings became severe, and temper tantrums became a daily, multiple time a day, occurance. when my daughter was 10 months old and started walking, she walked normally, but now at 18 months she is a toe walker and her speech is slightly delayed. her pediatrician thinks NOTHING of it, but i know deep down that these are signs that my son displayed and i want to stop this from happening to her as well. I've switched them both to GF and am slowly weening them off sugar and grains. it is HARD. it's also been hard for me to not eat grains when they are in the house! will power where did you go!? i feel like there is a clear link between their metabolic processing of grains and their neurological functioning. when my son was 2 we had him evaluated for autism. he was diagnosed as SID. the first thing they said was go GF/CF. So, i'm hoping going one step further and eliminating all grains from their diets will help even more. my biggest concern is that they get enough nutrition, but i make sure healthy snacks are always available, some fruit, veggies (thank goodness they both like carrots, celery, and kael chips!), and almond butter, coconut and almond milk, etc. i've bought some coconut flour and plan to make them some 'treats', too.
i have noticed for a while now, maybe a year (i can't believe i've noticed something for a year and done nothing about it), that when/if i eat anything high carb, bread, pasta, rice, cereal... i have a "high" and then such a serious crash that i can barely stay awake. it is awful. so, because of that, i've been steadily limiting my sugar consumption (except chocolate, my one true vice!) so cuting out cookies and candy kinds of things has been easy. I have also noticed since going primal that i'm hungry a lot more often? i thought that wasn't supposed to happen if I ate enough protein?
typical meals for me are:
B: 3-4 eggs, bacon or sausage, maybe some spinach in my eggs, maybe a little feta. coffee will and splash of coconut milk.
L: chicken or tuna, a veggie and a salad OR almond butter with veggies (celery carrots, maybe half an apple or banana)
S: handful of walnut or an ounce of cheese
D: 4-8 oz of meat (chicken of beef) 3 serv of veggies, 1 serv of fruit for dessert.
I need to re-read PB and see if I'm missing something. also, i only drink water and coffee. i've easily managed to stop drinking my very occassional glass of tea or soda. tomorrow is the start of lent, and i usually give up sugar or soda or something along those lines. don't know what i'll give up this year! maybe facebook or pinterest? ) I definitely can't give up the daily apple!
I could not find my journal yesterday! I scanned and scanned through the threads and couldn't find it. WEIRD.
In other news, yesterday was a challenge! I knew ahead of time that I'd be away from home during the middle of the day. I typically work from home, but do occassionally have to travel within a 100 mile radius for work. I have an office I can use about 35 miles away in a bigger city than where I live. I actually live in the county, not in town. Anyway, I knew I was oging to be out and about driving and then heading to my office for a lunch/meeting. I thought seriously about packing a lunch, but I didn't. Wish I had! I ended up having to work through the 'lunch hour' and by 1:30 I was famished as seems to happen daily no matter how much I eat at breakfast (round 8 or 9am). The town I was working in had no options for food except a run down BK and DQ, yuck and no, thank you! There was a wal-mart where I could have probably scraped together a decent salad and some tuna pouches but I didn't have a lot of time and no place to 'prep' food except my truck. Less than ideal. I ended up driving the 60 miles back to the office and grabbed a bag of pork rinds and beef jerky at a c-store on the way. I nibbled the gas station 'food' just to survive my hunger pangs and then immediately went in search of something a little better close to my office. The only restaurants in a 5 mile radius were either closed for the after noon 'siesta' or offered no hope of nourishment. (another BK, really?! wtf!) so, I went to CVS and bought a couple of varieties of nuts and some atkins shakes. the atkins shake was a last resort, because i didn't want to blow my calories for the day by eating a ton of nuts for lunch. needless to say, i was hungry/grumpy the rest of the afternoon. i wasn't starving though and my hunger pains were subdued by my nibbles of nuts and dried berries. AND, the best part, was that i easily declined the offer of pizza, cupcakes, or homemade toffee that were filling the office! I didn't even think twice about it or feel bad for 'denying myself' those things. they just did not sound appetizing whatsoever. 6 weeks ago, January 6th, to be exact!, I ate 3 slices of the very same pizza and loved it.
I've not really lost any more, and it's a little depressing, but I can feel my body composition changing. that sounds crazy, so maybe it's all in my head, but my mid section definitely seems firmer, my legs feel stronger and seem slightly slimmer, i can definitely SEE my triceps muscles more than a week ago. so, maybe not losing lbs but changes are happening and that is the most important thing at this point.
Last night, i did 'binge' on something that i thought i wouldn't have a problem with... alcohol! I went out after work with a group from the office. they are all aware of my 'diet' so they understood why i turned down the offer to share a huge platter of chili cheese fries and nachos. I had grilled shrimp as an appetizer, caesar salad with no dressing (didn't know what kind of oil it was made with, not freshly made, but some bottled junk), wild caught grouper, broccoli slaw and steamed zuchini. pretty decent 'bar food', i'd say. but, i feel like i crushed all my good intentions with two vodka and diet cokes. then some guy bought me a shot of mystery liquid that tasted like dimetap, and my boss bought everyone a shot of southern comfort. normally, i'm a serious lightweight when it comes to drinking, 2 beers and i'm BUZZED. but, last night i don't know if it was because i'd been eating so much or the amount of time between drinks but I barely felt anything by the time i'd had my last shot. weird. I did also drink at least 6-8 oz of water per alcoholic beverage just because i tend ot feel VERY hungover otherwise. got home and in bed by 11. woke up at 2 am feeling DRUNK. drank 2 glasses of water and went back to sleep. woke at 7 feeling slightly hungover, achy, drank 16 oz of water and felt better immediately, had coffee, breakfast, and more water and felt good enough for a short 20 minute walk around the neighborhood with my kids.
today, was a good day. my fitday trcker helps me stay conscious of what i'm eating but i'm having less and less urges to snack, especially late at night or mid afternoon. going to bed now, i really need to work on going ot bed earlier and getting more/better sleep. *yawn* hasta manana!
i had such busy weekend, that i really didn't have time to sit and write about everything i ate, but i still managed to stay 80% primal for sure, but possibly closer to 90%. monday was insane with work, today was more of the same and tomorrow is looking to be a real challenge. it seems my 2 biggest challenges to the 10 'rules' are getting enough sleep & move really fast once in a while. i've been better about getting more sleep (and as i type this it's 11:43 est!) but tonight i fell asleep in my son's bed and then woke up abruptly because my husband called on the computer. woke up, heart pounding, blood thumping in my ears, and felt queasy. funny, since i don't use an alarm clock (who needs one when you have kids who rise with the sun??) i hadn't felt that in a long time!
today i made 'primal pancakes' with coconut flour and coconut milk, a little honey and eggs (and other sundries, like vanilla.. etc). they were freaking amazing. i hadn't had any kind of bread/cake/cookie/cracker in what like... 3 weeks? i had to stop myself from eating more even though i was FULL. my kids loved them, which was a total bonus. those picky little beasties are tough to please. i know it's just a matter of reprogramming their mouths and their brains, just like it has been for me. you'd think 5 years (but really only like 2.5 years since he was BF for a whole year and then GF until he was 3.5) wouldn't be that hard to break from sugar and processed junk food, but no. it's HARD. he's struggling and unhappy about it a lot. he has mcdonald's withdrawls but it's mostly because he wants the toys. i just can't justify going ot buy a cheap lame toy though, so wah wah waaaaaah. he'll just have to deal.
tomorrow is going to be a TEST for me. 1) my supervisors from corporate are coming to the office so "good morning, here's a double dose of stress with your coffee!". they really aren't bad to deal with, it's just that general aggitated buzz that gets going in the office when 1 or 2 people re really stressed and it just trickles down. i'm planning on wearing my (black) vibrams with some black slacks (business casual, lol!) to try and stay comfy and 'centered'. Monday, I made a makeshift stand for my laptop and really felt energized by not spending the whole day sitting. my back felt fantastic, although my feet were a little sore. overall, standing seems like a good idea for tomorrow. i know it will through everyone else in the office 'off' and add to their stress (what is she doing standing?? are they going to expect us all to stand?), but it'll make me feel better and surely Grok would have been all about getting the mental and physical edge over competitors? so moving on... 2) after work, we ar all expected (ha) to go to this bar for team trivia (at which I REIGN SUPREME!) and karaoke (which i'm also pretty decent at). the challenge will be to not drink. I went last week, as mentioned in a previous journal entry and although i didn't get drunk and sick, my tummy just did not like the alcohol and gave me some moderate digestive upset (ouchy poos). peer pressure! but, my best primal/paleo friend is going to try and go with me and that will help me stay focused on how i want to feel later, not how i feel at the moment. and finally 3) my kids are going ot be with a sitter basically all day. i'll get them up and dressed and out of the house, take them to a sitter until 4:30 and then make them dinner and prep for bed but leave them with a different sitter at 5:30. they (and i) will miss out on our nightly routine and that adds stress to our lives.
i wonder if the trade off of the added stress for me leaving my kids for a few extra hours is worth the extra hours spent socializing. i'm normally working alone, either at home, or in an empty deed book room at a courthouse where i know no one so the socialization for me is very important. but... it's still hard ot leave them. this really doesn't have a ton to do with PB except that it's yet another way our lives have drifted so far our of alignment with our primal ancestors. as IF Grokette would ever leave her babies ot socialize with the office pals. i've seen national geographic. those kids are there all the dang time. ... *sigh*
oy, i had such a busy week lst week and this is not looking too much better. my stress is kind of through the roof, as my husband is out of communication with us for a while due to work so i worry constantly about him and my boss moved a huge deadline up two weeks. big crunch. i also have the psartan sprint in less than 3 weeks and half my team has now decided they aren't doing it. oh well! i'll just push on. i spent some time over the weekend prepping my garden for spring plantings and got my seeds started indoors. i need to pick up some grits today to kill an ant bed off where i plan to plant tomatoes. i didn't have any i nthe pantry! haha, i used to always have grits on hand as a staple because we LOVE shrimp and grits at our house. now we just have the shrimp, no grits. anyway, that was most of my 3-5 hours of moving slowly all in one big dose: raking, hoeing, squtting, pulling weeds, etc. my back is tight and my shoulders are a little sore so that will make my regular weight session interesting today. i did a couple "dirt in your skirt" workouts by Margaret Schlachter this week too, as my 'sprints' but holy crap it takes nothing for my heart rate to jump up to 80%! need to work on some conditioning, STAT! i think i've only lost 1# this week, which in a way is disappointing but i have to keep telling myself that i don't have that much to lose so i'm not going to drop 10# in a month like other people who have more to lose. losing 12# is relatively easy when you have 120# to lose. losing 12# when you only have 12# to lose is kinda tough. i did check and my body composition keeps changing. i'm not losing weight, but i'm definitely losing body fat% and increasing muscle mass. all good stuff. yesterday i blew it on carbs, but did so kind of intentionally so i wouldn't feel 'deprived' in the next few weeks. (the kids GF cookies were speaking my language big time. i didn't even realize i spoke chocolate chip!) i'm going to try to randomly IF a time or two a week and see where that gets me. i've told several family members about PB and am trying to get them on board. my parents and f-i-l are all overweight with heart disease related problems. my mom, step-dad, and dad are all WAY overweight. my f-i-l is probably closest to a healthy weight but had a massive heart attack 12 years ago and has since has stints put in almost all his major arteries as well as a double by-pass. my step-dad had a septuple by-pass a few years ago and is type 2 diabetic as well. every time i see my mom i think she looks worse and worse and i'd really like them all to stay around and stay healthy for much longer, so i'm trying to be an example, not only for my kids, but for them. my sister and brother are somewhat interested, too, so maybe if i can get them on board the parentals will follow. (right now, mom and step-dad are on the Engine 2 diet??? step-dad has lost weight, mom hasn't.)
anyway, i'm keeping my food log at fit day just because i like to see the nutritional values. the other day i made a 'supefood smoothie' with spinach, chia seeds, greek yogurt, almond milk, a little almond butter and frozen banana & blueberries. next time i'll leave out some of the yogurt because it added a bunch of carbs. i need to get some plain unflavored yogurt... vanilla has like 22g, plain has like 8g. anyway, still really good and kept me full for a good while (like 5 hours).
gotta get crackin' at this glorious monday! hope anyone who reads this would leave a comment. i see people are viewing it, but no comments.... buncha' lurkers.