Jeez. I've gotten lazy at posting and it hasn't been a month yet!
Lets see, what's new..
I am down a pants size!! Well, let me clarify. I started this journey right after turning 30. I had an insane birthday night in which I woke up feeling disgusting and regretful. One thing that I left out about that night though, is that for the first time in my life, I had to buy a size 16 jeans to wear to my party. My 14's were just too tight to be shown off in public. It was NOT a good birthday present to myself.
Fast forward to today and I am not only down to my 14's but they feel really good. Almost loose even though they are out of the dryer. I'm so happy! I'm wondering if I could get to a 12 before my May Disney trip. I haven't seen a 12 in over 5 years. The thought seems impossible and yet so exciting!!
I was feeling good going primal in the beginning of this journey (mid February), but I was cheating too much. So I have wiped out all alcohol (except for a beer on St. Patrick's Day) and all sugar aside from a VERY small amount of fruit. It has made the weight virtually melt off of me this past week. What an amazing change just a few tweaks can bring about!
Also, I have started to read the book, "Wheat Belly" which just affirms that all I am doing is for my highest good. Great book!
I'm going for the Fast5..
I have really been enjoying the way I feel lately, but I am not very hungry very often. This feeling has led me to start looking at the different IF threads. After reading several, I'm pretty convinced that I can do Fast5 with very little to no discomfort. I'm not exactly sure what my eating window will look like, but I think it will be about a 1-6pm window. Today I waited until noon to eat (which wasn't hard at all). I won't be able to eat dinner until about 5:30, so I figure that is close enough for my first day.
This is a very exciting journey for me! Just a couple of months ago if someone had brought up the idea of fasting, I would have thought they were insane. I would have thought that they were unhealthy and starving themselves. What a difference a little information and experience can make! I weighed myself today for the first time in a while. I started this journal at 185 lbs. Today I weighed 176.2. That is almost a 10 lb difference! The really cool thing is that I only started to go strict a little over a week ago, so most of that weight has come off fairly recently. I am not as worried about the scale number as I am about the way I look. I have to say, my stomach looks a lot smaller today than it has in a very long time. I'm not saying it looks small by any stretch of the imagination. But it definitely is shrinking.. Yippee!
I have several pairs of shorts in a size 12 that I haven't worn in years. Over the past several years I have either gotten by with workout shorts or maternity shorts (so embarrassing but true!!!). I am having a hard time feeling like it is possible right now, but I have just decided to declare that my goal is to fit into these size 12's nicely for Disney World. If I can get away without having to buy a bunch of clothes for this trip in my size 14 self, I will be a very happy woman!!
I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.. I'm just going to keep repeating this until I start to believe it.
Day one of the fast 5 and it was pretty much a snap. Last night I finished dinner at about 6:15, and by 10pm I realized that I had not had one thought of eating the entire evening. This is a pretty life changing event for me. I used to obsess about snacking at night and not being able to snack because I was trying to lose weight.
For some reason I really had a hard time sleeping last night. I think I have myself all wound up about wanting to get my girls off wheat as soon as possible. I'm a little freaked out that I am doing this for myself and still feeding poison to my kiddos.. I may be getting a little too into "Wheat Belly"...
So anyway, I didn't' eat this morning until about 12:30. It was a little earlier than I would have liked, and I couldn't finish it because I was really feeling full, but I had a meeting that was going to last hours after. However, now (2:10pm) I am feeling very lethargic, a little gassy (burping up lunch) and just not great. This is weird because it is the very first time since going totally primal that I have had any of these symptoms. For dinner last night I ate a left over porterhouse steak with sautéed asparagus and mushrooms in kerrygold. YUMMY!! Then lunch today was leftover sautéed mushrooms with a sautéed onion and about 2 cups of spinach thrown in, 3 pieces of bacon, and 3 scrambled eggs. I got through about half of it before I just couldn't eat any more. Now that I am feeling so weird I am going to try to eat a little bit more of it, but I am not looking forward to it.
On the upside, I woke up feeling smaller! My face is looking really good and my mom commented this morning that my arms are really looking smaller along with the rest of my body. Woohoo! I'm excited about this, but I do want to keep feeling really great, not lose sight of why I am doing this in the first place.
Maybe after work I will take my girls on a long walk. I bet that will make us all feel great! Perhaps I will even try jumping onto the bench at the playground. I do have a gigantic fear that if I try to do this my foot will get caught and I will end up with a bloody nose or a knocked out tooth.. Hmm, no time like the present to try something new I guess!
Well I sort of fasted.. Okay not really I guess. Almost.
Yesterday I had lunch at about 12:30. I had some sautéed spinach, onions, mushrooms in butter, 3 eggs, and 3 pieces of bacon. It took me two sittings to finish it all because I wasn't very hungry. By the time I got home for dinner I couldn't imagine putting anything else into my body. So I just skipped it. Wow. I'm pretty sure I haven't done that in my whole life except under extreme circumstances where I literally physically couldn't get to food.
My husband got GREAT news yesterday about a job offer. He has been looking to change careers for a while and so this was just a wonderful piece of news to come home to. Because of this he went and got one of those huge bottles of red wine. I decided to celebrate with him, not thinking about the fact that a) I haven't really drank any alcohol for a while and b) I skipped dinner. I had 2 glasses of wine with a little seltzer water mixed in and BOOM I was feeling it! Not really in a great way either. So I downed a big handful of pistachios, drank 3 glasses of water, and went to bed. Lesson learned. If I am going to partake in celebration wine, don't do it on a fasting day!!
Woke up a tiny bit groggy this morning, but recovered fairly quickly. I haven't eaten yet, though I am hungry so I am going to be munching on something yummy very soon. Just have to figure out what that might be first. I was feeling pretty good about the way I looked in the mirror this morning so I decided to put on my size 12 jeans that I bought 2 years ago and never even took the tags off of. They slid up, buttoned, and zipped!! Still a little too tight to be really comfortable to wear to work but I bet by next week all my 14s will be folded nicely in the "doesn't fit" closet!!!! This is big big big!
So happy for this lifestyle and this forum. I think about all the years of weight struggle and just have to laugh at how easy it has become with just being a little bit informed.
I don't usually get on here on the weekends, but as I am currently obsessed with MDA I thought I would post. I decided to choose Friday as my official weigh in day. I realize that many say that the scale is the devil, but as a former WW girl, I just need to see the progress. Besides I have more than 40 lbs to lose and the drop in weight is a nice treat to see : )
So I hopped on the scale, all excited about how great I feel, and NOTHING. Not a tiny bit lost! But I was okay with this becuase I have lost almost 2 inches in my stomach. So I know that my body looks so much better. I honestly can't say where that fat is hiding because it looks as though I have lost some in many parts of my body.. All well, it can't hide forever! I expect next Friday to be a pleasant weigh day!!
Today I didn't plan on any sort of fasting, but I actually didn't eat until 12:15. This isn't a test of endurance or anything, I just honestly wanted to wait until I was hungry. Actually, I am wrong. I did drink coffee with a bit of half and half this morning. But no meal until lunch. It feels so good not to be a slave to food!! So for lunch I had leftover pork chops, and a big salad with balsamic vinegar and EVOO with a touch of honey.. Yummm. Sooo good!
Tonight my daughters and I walked around the neighborhood for about an hour and then I did some weeding in the yard while they played. It is so nice spending the evenings outside being active with the girls! I feel like I am such a better mom since going primal. My life priorities are shifting so much that my family doesn't know what to think. My 5 year old daughter, who is not the least overweight, got tired on our walk. I thought to myself, "Oh no, now we are doing this longer and every night. There is no way she should be tired by this little walk around the neighborhood!!" I realize that I have allowed her to be very sedentary without even thinking of it. Ick, it makes feel feel gross to think about it.
Anyway, things are changing around this girl's house and my poor husband is hanging on for dear life.
I drank a beer tonight with dinner (mussels in a garlic tomato butter sauce) and it was fine, but I didn't really think it was worth it. So I threw part of it out and grabbed a glass of my husbands Cabernet.. Yum. Going to sip on this and enjoy the rest of the night. Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!
Had a great weekend. Got a little relaxed with the food intake at times. I still had no wheat or processed junk but I did eat rice a couple of times and went out to a coffee house on Saturday night and got the most delicious caramel macchiato ever. It was a little sweet, but I think that is because my tastebuds have changed a bit. So not too bad, just not really strict like I have been.
So Sunday morning I woke up early (because I work on Sundays, ugh) and got showered, dressed, looked in the mirror and AGH!! I looked horrible to myself! All of this hatred self talk came rushing into my brain and kind of started to suffocate me. Questions such as, "Why in the world are you even trying? You look the same as you did a month ago" and "God your face is fat. How would anyone know the difference in your weight when your face looks so FAT?" It was horrible. It kind of knocked me down and I had to sit on the toilet shaking and trying to stop myself. I have thought mean things about myself before, but I actually thought they were true. I mean, I was huge and unhealthy and lazy and ate fast food. But now, I know those thoughts aren't true, I just didn't expect to be still thinking them! It was a very strange situation.
So I dragged myself off to work, feeling really terrible about myself (and yet STILL didn't grab any crap to eat). About 20 minutes into working (I work at a church as the Sunday Coordinator) my pants started falling down. I had decided to wear the 16s because I was so ungodly huge after looking at myself. Well at this point, with my pants falling down and getting compliments left and right, I decided that maybe I needed to start being a little more gentle with myself. I started laughing and just kind of giving myself a mental pat on the back for surviving such an abusive barrage of thoughts and still maintaining control of my food intake. This situation really helped me realize that I need to do some mental work as I change physically. I need to really start liking myself and valuing what I am doing for myself and my family. It was crazy.
Last night my daughter really wanted some ice cream, so we got some. I had a small bit. It was every single bit worth it! No cone for me, but I didn't miss it. I went to bed nice and early and feel pretty good today. I have resolved to get back into my strict mode for the week, so I haven't eaten yet. I'm trying to decide if I want to wait until dinner or not. I'm starting to feel a little bit hungry as it's lunch time right now, so I think I am just going to go grab some soup to hold me until my pot roast tonight. I was enjoying the fast 5 last week and would like to continue that this week.
I have found so much insight and motivation on this forum that I am just feeling really grateful today. Even though my silly mind is screaming at me that I am failing (which I am obviously not), and filling me with a terrible sense of self-doubt, I have support and advice from people that are going through the same experiences that I am. Life is good : )
I seem to be in some sort of holding pattern with the weight loss. This is frustrating to say the least. I have a lot to lose, at least a good 40 lbs, 50 would be nice. So for me to be stalling out in week 3 is pretty annoying. I guess I have eased up a bit on sugar (drinking wine too often), but all in all I have been feeling pretty good about what is going into my body. I'm going to chalk this one up to the fact that my body is just confused and things are going to start dropping again very soon. I've been really looking forward to being comfortable in these size 12s and they are just sitting on my chair in the bedroom mocking me. I'm ready to show them who's boss!
Feeling pretty good today!
I had to go to a 3-year-old's birthday party this weekend. We had a lot of fun and I ate before we went so that I could stay away from the Pizza. I did have a bite of cake (so worth it!), but all in all I was really happy with myself. This morning I woke up at 5am and went to the "boot camp" held at my gym. This was my first day and I was really pleasantly surprised. The instructor focused on strength and core training with a bit of cardio. It felt like exactly what I should be doing. I will be going to this class on Monday Wednesday's and Friday's for the next 8 weeks. Let's see what happens!!
I wasn't able to fast until this afternoon after working out this morning, so I ate a huge meal of sausage and peppers and onions around 11am. I'm thinking I could probably eat a light dinner this evening and be really satisfied.
This weekend really proved to me that I have made a real transition. This is an honest lifestyle shift that I won't be turning back from. Now it is just time to get my family on board.
I started a boot camp class on Monday morning with a girlfriend. The class is 8 weeks Mon, Wed, Fridays from 5:45 to 6:45 am. I'm not exactly the type of person that would normally do something like this. My idea of exercise usually consists of nice, leisurely walks with my girls. But I got talked into it.
So I wake up in the middle of the night (5:00 am) and drag my self to this insane class that turns out to be... AWESOME. It is a circuit training class using weights, body weight exercises, some cardio, and resistance training. It feels very primal and I feel like I kick butt while doing it. Yesterday I could barely move. Or breath. And God forbid I laugh or sneeze! But this morning as I woke up to go to my second class, I felt good. And now, this afternoon, I feel GREAT! My body shape is already starting to look a little tighter. I'm sure the weight loss is helping. I'm down another couple of pounds. I will know exactly how much on Friday (weigh-in day). Anyway, I told my girlfriend that I better look awesome at the end of 8 weeks if I am going to be going through the torture of dragging my behind out of the house before the kids get up. I can honestly say, I don't think I have to worry about how I will look. It's going in the right direction so fast. Yes!
Tonight we are going to an Italian (gulp!) restaurant for my father in law's birthday. I haven't really touched any wheat in weeks, but the thought of that fresh bread with olive oil is already making my mouth water. So we'll see.. Not sure what my plan is yet. I can easily stay away from the pasta I think.. For lunch today I have a HUGE salad with homemade balsamic vinegarette and a leftover burger with sautéed onions from last night. After the workout this morning, I'm not sure how long I will wait to eat.. It may be more of a brunch!
I hope everyone is feeling as good as I am today.
It's funny how much exercise improves my mood. I am feeling positively BOUNCY with happy energy. Yesterday was kind of a funny day for me. I couldn't get the idea of needing a candy bar out of my head. I knew I wasn't hungry and I had no dark chocolate so I tried to ignore the lure of the convenience store. But I ended up caving. I went in and bought a Butterfinger. I got through about 3/4 of it before I realized that it tasted HORRIBLE! I mean, gross! The chocolate tasted waxy and too sweet. The middle was sticky and just 'ick'.. So I shook my head and laughed at myself for the change in tastes. It was a good lesson that giving in to OLD cravings just doesn't work for me anymore.
Later that evening we had to cancel our restaurant dinner plans because my poor MIL has shingles! She is miserable and kind of quarantined into her room for a while. So I didn't have to worry about the lure of fresh table bread. Instead I took the girls to my moms house where she made the most amazing parmesan encrusted tilapia with asparagus and rice. It was better than any restaurant meal I have had in a LOOONNNNGG time. She is not following primal really, however whenever I come over she makes meals with real butter and no bread or white potatoes because she wants to support me in any way that she can. I tell her to make rice because my girls love it so much. My mommy is the best!!
We ended up staying over because she and I really enjoy hanging out and the girls love to play over there. So we watched Survivor and had a great time talking. Many times during these gabfests in the past we would have been eating and drinking wine. Not so much anymore. Last night we had seltzer water with slices of lime and just enjoyed the company instead of more food. It was wonderful!
I decided last night after dinner that I would just go ahead and fast through until dinner tonight. I've never done this for a whole 24 hours but I am going to try. I think I can do it. I just have to keep my mind off of food and keep my body busy. The good thing is that I am trapped in an office with no food until 3 so that takes me pretty far into my day. I guess we'll see how it goes!