Congrats on your resolve and fresh start. You can do it!
Hi. I think I'm in for real now after a few false starts. The thing is, I am so very attracted to food that is bad for me that I've had to have a few "last suppers" the last few weeks which turned into "last weekends" filled with fast food, doughnuts, things that I would "never have again so I needed to enjoy today for the last time" *sigh*. If it wasn't such a pattern in my life that has kept me slightly overweight and going back and forth in a weight range I've been unhappy about for years, then it would be funny.
So I've hit a weight that is just unacceptable to me and I haven't been at this weight for a long time (like for two years) and now suddenly I've been at it many times in the last month, which means it's for real, it's not just water weight. I am 5'2" and weigh 143. I've been bouncing between 140 and 146 for the last six weeks. Before the holidays, I was mostly in a 137-139 range. So my weight has jumped up and I know I have myself to blame.
I have to get serious about this, I have to just take the plunge and do it, no more talk and then backtracking three days later. In order to do so, must acknowledge my weaknesses:
Things I will possibly miss forever and will be a challenge to give up for awhile at least:
1. cupcakes with buttercream frosting
2. fresh doughnuts
5. naan bread
6. rice-lentils cooked with Middle Eastern spices and topped with fried onions
7. McDonald's french fries and coke and fish filet sandwich
8. Take out Chinese food (the bad stuff, not the steamed vegetable option)
10. Chips and salsa
11. Margaritas and other non-wine alcoholic beverages
Also, my parents invite me over a lot for dinner and they aren't on the same wavelength, so I'm still not sure how I'm going to handle that bit yet.
I frequent another forum that focuses on calorie counting. Every single day in the forums there are posts like, "I exercise 6 days a week for an hour of intense cardio, I eat 1200 calories, I never drink alcohol or eat junk, and I haven't lost a pound." After reading so many of these, I started to feel that something just wasn't right. I mean, given the person isn't lying (seems like a waste of time to lie on a forum where nobody knows you, but who knows, lol) or making huge errors in calorie counting calculations, something just isn't right. According to CW, you eat less, you exercise more, you lose weight. So why aren't all those people losing? I couldn't tell you for sure, but what it really meant for me is that the usual calories in, calories out formula does not seem to necessarily work for some or maybe most people. I have lost weight before by counting calories, but I found it tedious and the minute I stopped paying attention for a week, five weeks of hard work was down the toilet.
Having experienced low carb in the past and knowing how it made me feel, I know getting rid of unnecessary carbs (non-vegetable-and-fruit carbs) was critical for me to lose weight and feel better in general.
I'm also interested in getting off some hormonal medication, but I don't think I can risk it until I get my diet under control and take it seriously.
So, day 1 so far:
Weighed in: 144.4
I went for a walk for 2.6 miles at a brisk pace (it was so cold or I would have walked longer). I did a modified version of Jillian Michaels 30-day Shred (I left off the ab exercises because I am also doing Pilates which is heavy-duty ab and I took some breaks while doing the strength because I'm not in shape at all as far as lifting) I also did a plank. The 30-day shred already includes push ups and squats.
I ate at 10:30 a.m. I had chicken wings I made with chicken wings, hot sauce mixed with butter. I just ate until my hunger was satisfied.
Lunch: (early): 4 chicken wings with hot sauce/butter, 1 square very dark chocolate, pinch of cashews
Yes, I realize that the nuts and chocolate are not hardcore Primal, but I need to ease into this with some treats or I might give up too soon.
Once you give up grains you will lose the taste for those addictive (yes, they act on the same opiod receptors as heroin an cocaine - see Mark's recent post) wheat & sugar products. Your body will love you for it.
Thanks for the support, curlygirl and analog6!
Day 2: Feb. 19
Weigh in- 144.0
Challenge for today: My parents live in the same town I do (LONG, sordid story as to how I ended up back here, but I moved back to the same town I grew up in 3 1/2 years ago after a terrible event forced me away from where I was living with my husband overseas...it took me a few years to get my life back under control, but here I am still...). My mom has been out of town for the last week for a business trip, and so I've brought dinner/will dinner to my dad on Sundays while she is/was gone. There are no take-out places that are good bets for primal eating. Pizza is out, Kentucky Fried Chicken or other fast food places are out. I really don't have time to go over and cook an elaborate meal. I'm thinking of going to a Thai place maybe or Indian food place and just making sure there is no flour or cornstarch or sugar in the sauces. Hmm....
Yesterday I mostly did good.
early lunch: hot wings (homemade) (about 4 chicken wings smothered in a butter-hot sauce combo), a few cashews, square of dark-dark chocolate
snack: a few tablespoons guacamole
dinner: a small smoothie made with half a small banana, 1/4 cup coconut milk, a handful of frozen berries, then left to freeze so it had the consistency of ice-cream, some wine.
Notice the lack of vegetables. Did not do that on purpose. I do love and eat a lot of vegetables on a daily basis normally, so having one day where I didn't is not going to hurt me. Wine is my weak point, for sure, as I've discussed here and in other places. I would like to wean myself so that I only had it a few times a month. Right now I usually LOVE having a glass while I'm cooking and preparing food. There's something so relaxing about cooking and then taking occasional sips. I think I can still have it as long as I don't hit a major slump where I can't lose weight. On the weekend, I tend to have more than one glass because I know I can without worrying about waking up early for work the next day.
Now for the weird. I am a writer on the side, have so far had one short story published, am working on a novel, blah blah blah. Anyway, one thing that I have done and need to get back into is early morning journaling. There is something about that time when you first wake up, before your inner editor kicks in, in which you come up with some really interesting truths and insights. I will never forget one morning about five or six years ago, when I was also struggling with weight (*sigh*, did I mention this nonsense has been going on for far too long?), I started babbling in my journal and suddenly I started writing in second person. I thought some of the nutrition advice I gave myself was some of the best advice ever. Did I end up following it consistently? Of course not. Or I would probably be my ideal weight. It was actually very close to Primal style, too, although a bit weak on the fat and meat. But I think deep inside, I knew what I needed to do -- to drink lots of water, to cut all sweets except for an occasional square of chocolate, to have wine maybe once a week, to continue fast walking and Pilates/strength training, to eat big salads for lunch, to include berries, nuts, and avocado, and to have chicken for meat mostly! I think I'm going to tinker to try to get close to what my inner me was telling me to eat for this week. So that's my goal for this week.
analog6: Yes, I can totally see where the addiction to grains, etc. is like cocaine. *nods*
Good luck with your goals. I like your writing style, you would make a good novelist. Good luck with that. I struggle with grain addictions as well.
I encourage you to stop looking at this as "never, ever again," with a deprivation mindset. We rebel against can't; it's much better to stay in the mindset of choose. After all, you are choosing to eat this certain way, and there will be times you choose to eat something off plan. I give myself permission to be imperfect, to have one meal each week (usually the night hubby and I go out to dinner) where I'm less strict, to strive for 8o0% and be okay with that. It's been very successful, and quite frankly, even with the permission I've given myself to eat off plan, I mostly don't. A few bites of hubby's dessert, some rice or potatoes, a bite or two of bread~that's the damage. Honestly, I now find potatoes and fries bland and strangely textured, bread is meh, and rice is just okay.
I also have stayed off the scale because weight goes up and down for a hundred different reasons, especially for women, and *for me*, having that daily or weekly number would drive me to obsession. I choose this lifestyle because I feel better overall, and the weight will come off in its own time. I measure my progress by how I feel and how my clothes are fitting. I've dropped a size and a half since the beginning of January, but maybe the scale might only show 5 pounds. Heck, I do not care if the scale reads 10,000 pounds if I look and feel good, so what's the point?
Keep breathing and look at this process as a marathon, not a sprint. Do your best does not mean be perfect.
I blog about living life to the fullest at The Hairy Edge. Check it out! (Or not. We can still be friends. )
mystic: Thank you! And haha, I thought my writing was a bit careless in this post! Thanks for stopping by!
BeachTeach: It's funny. Sometimes I crave McDonald's like crazy, but then when I actually have it, I feel disappointed and gross. Like part of me already knows it's bad for me. I just need to listen to that part and understand that the cravings are a separate thing.
I like your attitude a lot on not expecting perfection. I tend to try to be perfectionist and then get disappointed when I inevitably have a failure. Then I think, "What's the point? This isn't sustainable for me." and then I try something else, like counting calories for awhile or intuitive eating, find out for the millionth time that THAT doesn't work either, go back to something like this, and the cycle continues. In no way do I stick with anything long enough to see success. Consistency has never been my forte.
Good point about the scale. I am only weighing myself initially right now because I'm so distressed by seeing such an unusually high number for me on a somewhat consistent basis (after nearly a year averaging between 136-139 with 141 or 142 being upper-upper for me and only occasionally) that I really want to at least see it go down to the "norm" for me (which is still too heavy for me, mind you). Just since the holidays when I REALLY indulged hardcore, I have felt like I have this extra tire around my gut and it feels awful. Whether or not the scale moves, I want THAT feeling to go away.
Remember too that once you get to your goal, you don't have to give up those foods forever. Eating them on a regular basis : yes, but having a doughnut once a month isn't going to kill your primalness. That said, I experienced what a poster above mentioned: you really do lose your taste for many of the things that held you slave to it.
I'm a moron. I meant to write the below information on this thread, not the other one that I wrote it on, so I apologize if this is a repeat to anyone!
I didn't feel bad today, even though I went a "little" off plan this evening.
Well, we shall see how I will pay for it tomorrow, lol.
B: coconut/almond pancakes (I saw the recipe somewhere in Paleo land -- 1/4 cup almond flour, 1/2 cup coconut milk, 2 eggs, a touch of vanilla, a pinch of baking soda) and some bacon for breakfast (this is a weekend treat, not an every day type breakfast).
L: Taco salad (paleo style). Ground beef with spices over lettuce, tomatoes, onion, and with salsa and guacamole. Yum! I had a square of dark-dark chocolate afterwards.
D: I ended up getting KFC for my dad (he's sooo picky) and then I went to a Chinese place and ordered steamed vegetables and hot sauce on the side for me. I had a little bit of rice (maybe 1/4 cup), the veggies, the hot sauce. Then I had about half of the hot and sour soup I ordered (I suspect there was some thickening agent in it so it was a cheat probably). I ended up having a few thin mint cookies for dessert (eep, that WAS a cheat) and 2 glasses of red wine.
So not great, but not as bad as I normally would go. I feel intensely satisfied. I have to understand that when I go to my parents' house, there WILL be cheating of some kind. It's just something I know I have to add into my plan.
Tomorrow I am going to take an online break and not be on this forum or any other that I frequent. i've decided to set "Self Control" all day so that I can't get on the internet. I have a lot of work to do on my day off! So I will see you all in a few days!
Even though I said I wasn't coming on today (and trust me, I am about to shut down the internet for myself for the day, as it is only 6 a.m., lol), I wanted to report that despite having a less than ideal night last night, I dropped weight!
Total loss: 1.6
My first mini goal is 138, which is where I was before the holidays. I'm hoping to be there in a few weeks, maybe sooner if some of this freaking extra weight isn't just water retention of some kind...4.8 pounds to go until there!