Hi. I think I'm in for real now after a few false starts. The thing is, I am so very attracted to food that is bad for me that I've had to have a few "last suppers" the last few weeks which turned into "last weekends" filled with fast food, doughnuts, things that I would "never have again so I needed to enjoy today for the last time" *sigh*. If it wasn't such a pattern in my life that has kept me slightly overweight and going back and forth in a weight range I've been unhappy about for years, then it would be funny.

So I've hit a weight that is just unacceptable to me and I haven't been at this weight for a long time (like for two years) and now suddenly I've been at it many times in the last month, which means it's for real, it's not just water weight. I am 5'2" and weigh 143. I've been bouncing between 140 and 146 for the last six weeks. Before the holidays, I was mostly in a 137-139 range. So my weight has jumped up and I know I have myself to blame.

I have to get serious about this, I have to just take the plunge and do it, no more talk and then backtracking three days later. In order to do so, must acknowledge my weaknesses:

Things I will possibly miss forever and will be a challenge to give up for awhile at least:
1. cupcakes with buttercream frosting
2. fresh doughnuts
3. enchiladas
4. rice
5. naan bread
6. rice-lentils cooked with Middle Eastern spices and topped with fried onions
7. McDonald's french fries and coke and fish filet sandwich
8. Take out Chinese food (the bad stuff, not the steamed vegetable option)
9. Pizza
10. Chips and salsa
11. Margaritas and other non-wine alcoholic beverages

Also, my parents invite me over a lot for dinner and they aren't on the same wavelength, so I'm still not sure how I'm going to handle that bit yet.

I frequent another forum that focuses on calorie counting. Every single day in the forums there are posts like, "I exercise 6 days a week for an hour of intense cardio, I eat 1200 calories, I never drink alcohol or eat junk, and I haven't lost a pound." After reading so many of these, I started to feel that something just wasn't right. I mean, given the person isn't lying (seems like a waste of time to lie on a forum where nobody knows you, but who knows, lol) or making huge errors in calorie counting calculations, something just isn't right. According to CW, you eat less, you exercise more, you lose weight. So why aren't all those people losing? I couldn't tell you for sure, but what it really meant for me is that the usual calories in, calories out formula does not seem to necessarily work for some or maybe most people. I have lost weight before by counting calories, but I found it tedious and the minute I stopped paying attention for a week, five weeks of hard work was down the toilet.

Having experienced low carb in the past and knowing how it made me feel, I know getting rid of unnecessary carbs (non-vegetable-and-fruit carbs) was critical for me to lose weight and feel better in general.

I'm also interested in getting off some hormonal medication, but I don't think I can risk it until I get my diet under control and take it seriously.

So, day 1 so far:

Weighed in: 144.4

I went for a walk for 2.6 miles at a brisk pace (it was so cold or I would have walked longer). I did a modified version of Jillian Michaels 30-day Shred (I left off the ab exercises because I am also doing Pilates which is heavy-duty ab and I took some breaks while doing the strength because I'm not in shape at all as far as lifting) I also did a plank. The 30-day shred already includes push ups and squats.

I ate at 10:30 a.m. I had chicken wings I made with chicken wings, hot sauce mixed with butter. I just ate until my hunger was satisfied.

Breakfast: none
Lunch: (early): 4 chicken wings with hot sauce/butter, 1 square very dark chocolate, pinch of cashews
Dinner: ?

Yes, I realize that the nuts and chocolate are not hardcore Primal, but I need to ease into this with some treats or I might give up too soon.