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Thread: I don't care about helping others anymore! page 3

  1. #21
    kcarol's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stevew View Post
    That's a good point about the training side of things. My workouts are normally about half an hour or so and just a few times a week. Some weeks more, some weeks less. I don't have a set plan when I go in the gym, I just do what I feel I need to on that day. But, like your boyfriend, I do remember when I used to train a couple of times a day, 6 days a week and got nowhere other than getting injured and looking bloated. It is difficult when you're in a relationship to try and 'convince' them of the benefits, but he'll have to decide for himself (or at least make him feel like it was his idea - us guys can be stubborn creatures!). Maybe point him in the direction of crossfit or something similar. Has he always needed the light on to sleep? Or is it just since he's training so much?

    I think living by example, as someone else said, is the key. I met up with a group of old school mates recently that I hadn't seen for years, and one of them said it looks like I'm the only one in the group who hasn't really aged! Years down the line that difference will get more noticeable (I'm hoping!), unless they change their lifestyle too.
    I have nooo idea about the light thing actually. He says he just prefers it? He gets sick very often too. I tried to explain the benefits of darkness and hormonal signaling and the whole health shtick about sleep, but I think it goes in one ear and out the other sometimes. Oh boys... (Oh, I think one thing I haven't mentioned is that I'm majoring in biochemistry. He was a business major. He'll "listen," cause he knows this is my thing, but I don't know how much he retains. :P)

    I have done CrossFit in the past, so he definitely knows about it. He actually told me it was too hardcore for him! Now I've left CrossFit and am trying to stick to weight training and walking (I want to lean out as much as possible right now, and I've heard this is more conducive to leanness than CrossFit, albeit a brutally awesome workout). But now I'm "lazy" for just walking. How paradoxical right?

    I agree with your last part. I think that's ultimately what I'm sticking too to, waiting for others to ask. Buuut, with all his teasing, I can't wait to lean out a bit more and give the "I told you so" verbal beating coming to his sorry ass for calling me lazy 1000x times. I'll be soooooo ready.

    In the mean time, mouth shut, focusing on myself. That's all I have the patience for.
    Last edited by kcarol; 02-01-2012 at 08:52 PM.

  2. #22
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    The only thing I'm a total nazi about is processed food. Do I believe that grains should be the staple of anyone's diet? No. But I don't think that American's got fat because they ate bread. I think Americans got fat because you can grab a bag of oreos instead of having to put work into home baked cookies, and because portion sizes are way out of control, and because people eat out all the time now and visit fast food establishments several times a week. Because people start their mornings with 300+ calorie coffee drinks Etc.

    I believe in this diet, but I also believe in moderation. I don't deny myself the things I love (and they have to be good, well made things with quality ingredients) because denial leads to bad things.

    I do involuntarily shudder any time I see someone with Kraft Mac and Cheese in their shopping carts.

  3. #23
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    The only thing I will still harp on is when people ask me how they can lose weight is telling them to "read the label" and tell them not all food is actually packaged according to serving size. Great example pop-tarts, two servings in one sleeve....

    I still don't understand how it is supposed to work. Am I supposed to eat pop-tarts as a couples activity? Is there a magic way to reseal the sleeve? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME PASTRY?

  4. #24
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    I don't even try to convince people. I focus on myself and what I can do to improve my own health/wellness/well-being. When people ask, I'll share what I'm doing...but I NEVER nag. That's a total turn off for just about everyone, and the easiest way I've found to get people to do just the opposite of what you want them to do. I'm trying to lead by example. Hopefully, people around me will notice the changes I'm making and follow suit. If they choose to keep making unhealthy choices, I'll feel sad/disappointed/frustrated, but I recognize that people have the right to make poor choices.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Penady View Post
    I don't even try to convince people. I focus on myself and what I can do to improve my own health/wellness/well-being. When people ask, I'll share what I'm doing...but I NEVER nag. That's a total turn off for just about everyone, and the easiest way I've found to get people to do just the opposite of what you want them to do. I'm trying to lead by example. Hopefully, people around me will notice the changes I'm making and follow suit. If they choose to keep making unhealthy choices, I'll feel sad/disappointed/frustrated, but I recognize that people have the right to make poor choices.
    I know what you mean. I guess the difference is that people can make poor educated choices, not poor uneducated choices. Like when someone wants to eat a steak and they start saying "Man, I'll need to lay off the red meat for the next couple weeks!"

    I'd like to chime in and tell them they can eat it if they want, that it's GOOD for them, but the onset of knowledge alone meets resistance. I guess it's not really the lifestyle choice I'm against, it's the resistance to knowledge. My mom knows all about paleo/primal now that I finally got her to read the book, but she'll eat bread sometimes. At least I know she knows what she's doing, just like I don't chime in about her smoking habits. She knows what's up, I don't need to say anything.

    Unlike the vegetarian who might ask you "How can you possibly be eating that burger?" we'd say, "You know I just read a book reviewing the medical literature on saturated fat."

    This diet has a great basis for scientific discussion, absent of any underlying agendas and moral implication. And THAT'S why it's frustrating. People get defensive when they realize they're about to face their own ignorance, and just plain stubbornness too. Sharing knowledge shouldn't be considered forcing an agenda or preaching a lifestyle.

    Does that make sense?
    Last edited by kcarol; 02-02-2012 at 11:03 AM.

  6. #26
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    When I started Primal and had success and it clicked so well for me, I was super excited to "spread the word". People reacted really weird to the no grain thing tho so I dialed down the enthusiasm. If people asked I would tell them I was eating more whole foods, cutting back on carbs. The general person seems satisfied with this answer.

    I started this with my husband and he's doing pretty well - he's enjoying the benes too, tho he misses pasta/pizza more than me and will cheat occasionally. I don't care and I don't express any negativity - other than when he does cheat, he becomes a huge stink bag and I have to smell it!

    I did tell a couple of close friends. Both HUGELY obsessive about exercise/calories/fat/body image. One ended up loving Primal and feels "freed" from conventional wisdom and "diets"... the other could NOT do it, she has to calculate calories and fat and percentages and feel hungry and tired in order to feel like she's getting anywhere. She kept telling me how "hard" primal was - to calculate the exact protien, fat, carb portions and calories and percentages.

    So I guess if someone asks and they REALLY want to know I will give them the name of the book along with a brief description - but won't put my all into telling them cuz it seems people have to come to it on their own. They have to be open to change and the ideas presented in the books.... you gots to believe and be willing to try something other than what you've been told all your life or it won't really work.

    Shrug.
    Last edited by Shanster; 02-02-2012 at 11:14 AM.
    We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. - Oscar Wilde

  7. #27
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    I guess the difference is that people can make poor educated choices, not poor uneducated choices.
    Does that make sense?[/QUOTE]

    Makes total sense. One of my biggest pet peeves in this world is deliberate ignorance. I love knowledge, CRAVE knowledge, especially from novel points of view or differing ideas. That's how I grow as a person. Some people are just not open to novelty. In order to stay sane, I have to accept that about some people. And it will take a while to overcome the CW...look how long that stuff has been preached, it's not going away anytime soon. Educate the ones open to the experience and wait patiently for the rest (or as patiently as you can). Hopefully, they'll come around.

  8. #28
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    I agree totally that it is a mega head-banging experience attempting to convince others ... but let's not lose sight of the fact that if Mark and other pioneers hadn't cared, most of us wouldn't be here and wouldn't have seen the progress that we have made so far.
    F 5 ft 3. HW: 196 lbs. Primal SW (May 2011): 182 lbs (42% BF)... W June '12: 160 lbs (29% BF) (UK size 12, US size 8). GW: ~24% BF - have ditched the scales til I fit into a pair of UK size 10 bootcut jeans. Currently aligning towards 'The Perfect Health Diet' having swapped some fat for potatoes.

  9. #29
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    I think the difference comes in whether you are out trying to convert people to primal/paleo or are simply open to discussing it when they ask. People like Mark and Robb and so on took the time to blog and teach people, but that's not the same as feeling like you have to convert everyone you meet and preaching the ancestral health thing until your friends want to pelt you with stale bread.

    If people ask about how I eat and so on, then I will politely explain it and say that it works for me. If someone starts going on about how they shouldn't eat something because "OMG FAT!" then I will talk about how research showing the benefits of fat and maybe talk about sugar as a problem. But I won't get into arguments over it, and I certainly won't drone on about it. If people want to know more, they'll ask, and maybe they'll do their own reading (I lend out back issues of Paleo Magazine, send people to the MDA site, or share my books with folks who are curious). If they take it up, great. If not, well, it's their body, not mine.
    “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

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  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by paleo-bunny View Post
    I agree totally that it is a mega head-banging experience attempting to convince others ... but let's not lose sight of the fact that if Mark and other pioneers hadn't cared, most of us wouldn't be here and wouldn't have seen the progress that we have made so far.
    This.

    I always tell people when they ask. I don't sugar coat it and I don't argue. And I make sure that I'm not 'attached' to their outcome. Their outcome is their outcome. Not mine.

    If they try to argue I just shrug and say "Works for me, it may not work for you, everybody is different." If they keep pushing I just walk away or change the subject.

    The first time I realized that primal worked for me - even though it wasn't called primal yet - was in 2003 when I lost 30 lbs quickly doing almost exactly what the Primal Blueprint is. Despite that, I still thought I lost weight using CW and I heard about similar ways of eating for 7 years before I actually believed it and tried it.

    So even though people won't listen to me and won't change right away, every time they hear it pushes it closer to the point where they will actually try it.

    ~rc

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