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Thread: Primal Challenge Journal (MamaGrok) page 115

  1. #1141
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    I learned yesterday that Thyro-Gold is actually 2.6 grains per capsule. !! That explains why I got so hyper-thyroid feeling when I got up to 3 caps last spring! I had gone up 1 cap each two weeks thinking they were more like 6 caps = 1 grain or something like that.

    That also explains why I went downhill last summer. I can't remember if I stopped taking them over the summer b/c I wasn't noticing any effect (the little improvement I had had I thought was either TG, CT, or just time elapsed since quitting grain & dairy 100%), or if I kept on at 1cap/day. If the latter is the case, STTM says that staying at too low a dose for too long can mean a feedback result where you start feeling worse again. EXactly what happened.

    So I was on 2.6 grains till fall, then added NT, building up to now where I'm on 3.5 grains a day. That means I'm taking 6.1 grains a day and still feel very much like I have room to go! Crazy. My thyroid must be toast.


    Just saw Lou Holtz do a Catholics Come Home commercial. Cool.
    5'4" 36yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
    Starting: 185 lbs (March '10)
    Current: 132.5 lbs
    Goal: 135 lbs (Hit Jan '13)
    Beating bingeing since 10/31/11 on my Leptin Reset journey

  2. #1142
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    More musing...

    I keep catching glimpses of myself in the mirror and realizing how nice everything's looking finally. The bloating being almost gone, almost all the time, is AMAZING! It's not even that bad after my huge breakfasts.

    Hashimoto's seems almost certain now, given the roller coastering LDL & TSH, the extreme gluten intolerance, and the need for so much NDT (natural desiccated thyroid).

    It seems pituitary function may be poor b/c my TSH doesn't match my free T3 levels at all, and its insanely low level (.03!!). But at the same time, I tried the circadian T3 protocol to help my adrenal function, which isn't supposed to work if you're hypopit, so I hope it's not!! Today is the first day of it. It's just taking some of your thyroid two hours before waking up, to support the adrenals in getting cortisol going for the day. Boy, do I need that. I've been miserable in the mornings for as long as can remember.

    Low adrenal function seems almost certain bc of that, sensitivity to strong light changes, less-than-great morning and TERRIBLE noon cortisol, and orthostatic hypotension at times.

    I feel like I'm *finally* being able to connect some dots and see a bigger picture here that is connecting all the dots.

    Gluten intolerance -> severe fat malabsorption -> nutrient deprivation -> low iron -> can't get thyroid into blood cells -> feel like death.

    Or GI -> autoimmune attack on thyroid -> feel like death.

    Or GI -> SFM -> nutrient deprivation -> nurslings with very very bad teeth.

    So on.

    Dr. Kruse said Hashi's, potential osteopenia, & perimenopause were seriously indicated by my labs. I'm slow. I understood the Hashi's that day, but I just figured out the other two.

    The SFM = losing the nutrients needed for strong bones, especially the K2, and hence, the Calcium. My lowering Ca levels + SFM = ostopenia.

    Very low Estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, VERY high SHBG = perimenopause. And now my shortening follicular phase (2-3 days short every month now!) is confirming that. Yikes. That should not be here yet.

    Plenty of hope, though. I see these things. I know what to do. I have a plan. I have a very loving, supporting father. Let's go!
    5'4" 36yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
    Starting: 185 lbs (March '10)
    Current: 132.5 lbs
    Goal: 135 lbs (Hit Jan '13)
    Beating bingeing since 10/31/11 on my Leptin Reset journey

  3. #1143
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    Last note: It's been 5 days since last time eating somethign other than meat & fat (and last night, two bites of a fairly innocuous sweet potato casserole so my grandmother didn't realize I had only eaten turkey at her wonderful Christmas feast. I pushed around three other grain-y dishes. ). Status:

    - still a tiny bit bloated. Not bad at all.
    - Still weird pee smell in AM
    - Still puffy face
    - Thighs still up 1/2"
    - Weight up only 1/2lb. I expect to see some huge changes in the next week, b/c all my pants are fitting loose in the rear & thighs!!
    5'4" 36yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
    Starting: 185 lbs (March '10)
    Current: 132.5 lbs
    Goal: 135 lbs (Hit Jan '13)
    Beating bingeing since 10/31/11 on my Leptin Reset journey

  4. #1144
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    Eating breakfast on the deck (33 degrees) with bare feet and no coat, like a boss!
    5'4" 36yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
    Starting: 185 lbs (March '10)
    Current: 132.5 lbs
    Goal: 135 lbs (Hit Jan '13)
    Beating bingeing since 10/31/11 on my Leptin Reset journey

  5. #1145
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    Yuk, I've been sick with a headache & fatigue the last two days while my kids have had a 6-hr stomach sickness one after the other. We almost never get sick, but this is going through *everyone* we know and it looks like we have it about 1/8 as bad as they have it, so there's something.

    136 today! I've been bloated slightly (3.5-4mo), and it's probably b/c I was having coconut cream for a few days, and haven't used ox bile the last few days. Just ordered a whole mess of labs, including enterolabs, and can't wait to get results back to geek over.

    Happy New Year! Here's to another five years of amazing progress like the last five have been!

    The last year brought me down to my high school weight, saw bingeing reduced to about 5x in a year instead of 2x/day (as it was 5 years ago, or every weekend, as it was the previous year), brought me enlightment in the form of definitive diagnoses of CFS, binge eating disorder, & Hashimoto's hypothyroidism, and put me on the path to energy I haven't had in nearly a decade. Thank you, ,Naturethroid & Jack Kruse!
    5'4" 36yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
    Starting: 185 lbs (March '10)
    Current: 132.5 lbs
    Goal: 135 lbs (Hit Jan '13)
    Beating bingeing since 10/31/11 on my Leptin Reset journey

  6. #1146
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    In fact, I think I'll share here something I just sent to Dr. Kruse.

    This starts with something I wrote a while ago, and finishes with a realization I came to yesterday about your role in my recovery.

    8 years ago, after my 3rd child was born, I bought the entire Lord of the Rings DVD trilogy. I had never read one page of any of the books, not even The Hobbit (although I was subjected to a horrible cartoon version in the 5th grade), nor seen one minute of the movies in the theaters. I had written them off for geeks, forgetting, of course, that I am one. However, one day I read an article talking about Tolkien's Catholic worldview and realized from it that I would not just like, but love these movies. I sat down with my newborn and watched them one after another, then every minute of the extra scenes and behind-the-scenes clips, for days on end. I then read every word of the Lord of the Rings, the Hobbit, and even the Silmarillion.

    The films were full of beauty, the intensity of the good & flaws of humanity, but it was at the end of The Return of the King that I had my most profound contact with the God behind the Lord of the Rings. It's at the Battle of the Morannon, the Black Gate of Mordor, when Aragorn, the long-hidden king, and a small army led by the Captains of the West march on the front door of the vast land of the evil lord Sauron in a selfless attempt to buy time for Frodo's mission to destroy the Ring before Sauron could use it to rule the earth. They, even with their great captains and King, have no hope of winning or even surviving the battle, because behind the gates are legion upon legions of Sauron's orcs and other hideous creatures.

    There is no reason to hope.

    Yet Aragorn hopes. He knows that there is no other option for him, because this is the only chance for Frodo, and thus, all the races of Middle Earth. He knows it is the right thing to do, even if they all die, and there is no reason to imagine they will do anything but die. He hopes, because as Tolkien tells us through the old hobbit The Gaffer, "Where there's life, there's hope (and need of vittles)." He hopes, because he serves Eru, "The One," who oversees all and will only allow the evil exercise of free will to occur when greater good can come from it. We see the action of The One in The Hobbit when Bilbo "finds" the One Ring, and when Elrond reads the map to Erebor on the exact night of the year it must be read; we see it countless times in The Lord of the Rings, as in the Resurrection of Gandalf the White, the awakening of Theoden, and numerous just-in-the-nick-of-time rescues (trees coming to Dunsinane, anyone?). Aragorn knows that if it's the will of The One that he should live, he will.

    And so, exhausted from fighting countless battles before with many losses, and with no reason to expect success, he fights again. Aragorn, whose name given in childhood to conceal him from his enemies was "Estel" - "hope" in Tolkien's invented language - hopes without hope. He doesn't know that Frodo is destroying the ring at that very moment, that eagles are on their way to rescue them, or that the tower of Barad-Dur, which gives inordinate strength to all the evil creatures they fight against, is about to crumble. But he fights on.

    When I saw this scene, I was battling against overpowering cravings for food, especially grains & sweets. I had been fighting it for nearly five years, and making no headway at all. I lost on a daily basis. I thought I had a serious problem with self-discipline, and couldn't understand why I couldn't make any gains, no matter how hard I tried or how much I prayed. But as I watched this heroic king rally his men and not just defend, but charge forward to meet the enemy, I saw the spiritual truth behind it: I can never give up. I can never stop praying; I can never stop trying. It's not like going back, quitting, doing the wrong thing willfully, is an option. There is only forward. There is only fight another day. And I committed right then to keep fighting against this, knowing that either one day God would save me or I would die trying.


    ****
    I was reminded of this today, when I saw Peter Jackson's epic production of The Hobbit in the theater. There, after numerous close encounters, death is now imminent. The dwarves, Gandalf, and the little hobbit cling for their lives to trees, set the surrounding woods on fire to deter the werewolves below, and have nowhere to go. The flames climb higher, and just as death is about to close in, from nowhere comes unexpected help. The eagles save them at the last moment possible, taking them precariously through the air at massive speeds to the peaks of the mountains.

    It was then that I realize that Jack Kruse is my eagle.

    In 2011 - after more than a decade of fighting a losing battle unarmed - you came and gave me a sword and a shield and an army. Like Gandalf as well, you didn't fight for me, but gave me a bit of knowledge & help here and there, so that my own efforts were magnified, and finally made fruitful. I have begun winning the war, and victories are far more frequent than defeats these days.

    My prayer of 2004 has finally been answered, and you were the vehicle.

    Thank you.
    5'4" 36yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
    Starting: 185 lbs (March '10)
    Current: 132.5 lbs
    Goal: 135 lbs (Hit Jan '13)
    Beating bingeing since 10/31/11 on my Leptin Reset journey

  7. #1147
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    Hey MamaG. Sure sounds like you are almost there.

    I hope Jack publishes your email as a guest blog post. You said so very well what is true for so many of us.
    63 yo male
    Started reset Nov, 2011
    SW: 291
    CW: 230

  8. #1148
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    134.75!!!!!!! FIFTY POUNDS LOST!!!!! It only took three years.

    I just finished transcribing my 1hr consult with Dr. Kruse from a few months ago. It took me four hours of typing and 16 pages of Word doc, but finally finished. Amazing how many things I've "discovered" over the last few months that he told me right there and I just didn't "get", or forgot, them. LOL.

    Hi, Huck!
    5'4" 36yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
    Starting: 185 lbs (March '10)
    Current: 132.5 lbs
    Goal: 135 lbs (Hit Jan '13)
    Beating bingeing since 10/31/11 on my Leptin Reset journey

  9. #1149
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    Congratulations!!!!!! I have never written in your journal, although I've followed your journey. I'm inspired by your resilience and have enjoyed following along. By the way, LOVE the new profile picture. Bet people think you are a sister, not mom, to your kids
    -- Ruth

  10. #1150
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    Thanks, Ruth! My 14yo still looks like a little girl, but in another year or so, I bet people will be wondering, lol!

    I need to take a pic to commemorate today's big milestone, but here's one I just stuck together.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Last edited by MamaGrok; 01-03-2013 at 07:44 AM.
    5'4" 36yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
    Starting: 185 lbs (March '10)
    Current: 132.5 lbs
    Goal: 135 lbs (Hit Jan '13)
    Beating bingeing since 10/31/11 on my Leptin Reset journey

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