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Thread: divorce page

  1. #1
    canes84's Avatar
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    divorce

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    After dating for 5 years (married 9 months) my spouse sent me a text message this morning while I was away for the weekend stating that our relationship is over. I realize that this is not at all primal related but my whole life now feels meaningless and out of control and I felt the need to just write it.

    I am crushed. I don't not even know how to begin to pick up the pieces.

  2. #2
    Grok's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by canes84 View Post
    I don't not even know how to begin to pick up the pieces.
    You could start by posting a message here.

    My initial reaction is that this doesn't make any sense. Why would your spouse suddenly get up and leave you after five years?

  3. #3
    Zophie's Avatar
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    What?! a text, Really? That is such bad form.

    I am so sorry.

  4. #4
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    Been there... through divorce that is. Your husband certainly could have handled this better. But no matter how you get the news, no matter who wants the divorce and who doesn't, it is a traumatic, life-altering time.

    In time, you will get through this and will find happiness again. But it does take time. The best advice i have for you is to take care of yourself, eat well, workout.

  5. #5
    canes84's Avatar
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    It doesn't make any sense. None. Last week we were talking about children, this week we're done.

    The only thing that makes any sense is that there is someone else in the picture.

    Thank you all for the kind words... I;m at my parents house now (on the other side of the country) and checking out the local crossfit in the morning. I have had 3 meals in the last 72 hours (since the strange texts began on Friday) and they have all been primal. Eating primal and doing crossfit are the only familiar things to me right now....I'm not letting go of that.

  6. #6
    canes84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zophie View Post
    What?! a text, Really? That is such bad form.

    I am so sorry.
    5 years of love and devotion and all I deserve is a text message. a text message.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by canes84 View Post
    5 years of love and devotion and all I deserve is a text message. a text message.
    something is definitely wrong with him/her. That's not even remotely sane. Will your spouse speak to you at all?

    also, amazing that you refuse bad food and couch hugging for comfort. You show incredible strength
    A change in perspective is worth 80 IQ points - Alan Kay

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by canes84 View Post
    5 years of love and devotion and all I deserve is a text message. a text message.
    Which only serves to illustrate the fact that he is not man enough to deserve YOU. There is a greater life waiting for you once you see yourself through this pain. Believe it and take good care. <hugs>

  9. #9
    Orannhawk's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear about this ... don't worry about how to begin picking up the pieces, because right now it's going to be too overwhelming. Take the time to grieve, to acknowledge your hurt and the loss ... yell, cuss, rant if you need to. Then stay focused on doing what you need to do for yourself, eat, breathe, workout, sleep .... be kind to yourself. Your life is not meaningless, it has changed. Obviously not in a way you want, but it has changed and you will move forward.

    It just takes time, but I know it is truly shattering when it comes out of the blue like this. My ex-fiance came in one morning with the panniers to his bicycle, sat down and told me he was leaving me (after living together for 2 yrs.). We never fought, and our relationship was really good. We had just moved into a different house two and a half weeks before, but two weeks later he was riding his bicycle from NM to CA. I was devastated, in a total state of shock and with big time anger. Did a lot of crying, cussing and stayed on the phone a lot with his Mom and sister who were an amazing support system for me. A year or so after this, I talked to him on the phone and he did tell me that yes, the relationship had been good, and he did love me, but he just wanted something different (as in another woman). Lame excuse in my opinion, but whatever.

    It's been over five years but I can look back now and know with certainty that there was a reason he became an ex. You will get to that point too. Hang in there.
    Last edited by Orannhawk; 01-29-2012 at 03:57 PM.
    Everything's shiny, Cap'n. Not to fret.





  10. #10
    canes84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orannhawk View Post

    It's been over five years but I can look back now and know with certainty that there was a reason he became an ex. You will get to that point too. Hang in there.
    I look forward to being in that place. I want to be mad, I really do...but all I feel is pain

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