Primal Journal: Like a boss page 3

[BecomeYourDream]

Ugh. I HATE to do this to you al09 but I don't think I can do this challenge right now. : ( . I don't want to let you down so I am going to support you the whole way but I just don't feel like I am in a good place to commit to something like this right now. I just got some bad news in my family. Everything is okay I just know I am not in a good state of mind to do this, have some distractions now, and know I would probably go off on major binges or something so I think its best I don't. BUT You better kill it!! And I will be here to be supportive! I hate to do this to you last second but don't let that stop you from being diced and awesome. Sorriessss -BYD.

[al09]

What a bummer I understand what you're saying though, and you don't want to put yourself in a situation that will only make things worse. I'll admit though, I'm nervous to do this alone! But seriously, don't feel bad because you don't owe me anything and you need to do what's best for you! With that being said, I'm still going to do this. I need to. I need to change my ways and get back on track. I can see and feel my health slipping. I'm feeling super tired, depressed, and uncomfortable in my own skin. I've definitely gained weight and I feel disgusting and bloated and gross. I've been thinking a lot about what I want these 30 days to be for me, and this is what I've come up with:

Like a Boss Manifesto
-absolutely no nuts. none.
-no dairy
-no chocolate!!
-no sugar!!!
-limited fruit
-keep doing PBF/BodyRock, yoga, and walking/jogging
-start sprinting!
-I'll also be incorporating some supplements (tryptophan and/or St. Johns Wort most likely)

Goals
-lose a few pounds (I'm going to try not to get hung up on numbers, so I'm not going to specify an amount. I just want to lose what I've gained and FEEL better)
-improve body comp
-get rid of SIBO symptoms again
-be able to do 3 pull-ups in a row!
-stop binging/purging

That last one is big. That's the real main goal here, but I know it's easier said than done. I just need to focus on my health, and realize that binging/purging is not conducive to health AT ALL.

So, I feel like this is a bit sloppy, but I've been doing homework all day and I can't really form coherent thoughts right now.

I just want to be healthy again! I want to radiate health and wellness and be a shining example of Paleo success!
Like. a. boss.

OH! And when the 30 days is over, my reward will be a purchase from Lululemon! Huzzah! No food rewards here!!!!

Your input and suggestions are welcome and encouraged

[wooty]

good luck! keep us updated!

[al09]

Weeellll hello!!

So today was Day 1, and it was actually an awesome day! Which is surprising because physically I'm so bloated I look like I'm hiding a pregnancy. I am seriously bursting out of my pants right now, but I'm just reminding myself that it's all the bad food working its way through my system, and that this is why I'm doing this challenge!

So, despite getting almost zero sleep last night (I was super anxious and uncomfortable and just could not sleep), I had a really productive day at work (aka practicum for school), ate well, and was generally in a good mood! I'll take it! Apparently I love parenthesis.

My food for today:

B- black coffee, tin of sardines, two raw carrots (random? yes)
L- chicken breast and zucchini, mushrooms, spinach sauteed in coconut oil, raw cucumbers
Snack after work- natural beef stick, 3 eggs sauteed in coconut oil (this "snack" was rather large because I had a freakin meeting this evening. Don't people want to eat dinner?!)
D- a butt load of turkey cold cuts, bowl of frozen veggies (cooked, obvi), and some of the beef sliders I made for tomorrow

So dinner was not the best, but hey, I didn't break any of my rules, and it was strangely satisfying. I'm weird in that I either like super strong flavors (hello, sardines for breakfast? wtf) or super plain things, like plain veggies and turkey. Oh well, I'm not trying to understand I'm just going with what I want. I'm blaming my random and large dinner on the fact that I wasn't prepared enough and didn't bring good food with me to my meeting. Lesson learned! I came home tonight and made a batch of green sliders from Nom Nom Paleo, that way I have something good on hand in a pinch. I made them with grass fed beef and organic veggies, so they are the real deal. They are super tasty too, check out the recipe!

Didn't get to workout at all today, and I won't get to tomorrow either since I have crap to do from 9am-9pm. Ohhh well, I'll definitely get my ass in gear on Wednesday.

Hopefully I'll look less 16 and pregnant tomorrow...definitely not a hot look. I'm so amped for Day 2!

PS- aren't "ice breaker" activities the absolute worst? Find me someone who actually likes that crap and I will give you my life savings (full disclosure: I'm a grad student and have approximately 35 cents to my name).

Peace out Grokkers!!!!

[al09]

I dare you to find something that tastes better than local bacon and organic black coffee!

[al09]

Gonna try to keep this quick for my sake. I'm exhausted.

Day 2 was a success! I ate as well as I could (I literally had work, meetings, and class from 9am-9pm), and I feel pretty good.

Food:
B-black coffee, 2 little beef sliders, 4 slices of bacon
L- (not till 2:30, work was busy) more sliders, raw cucumber, decaf coffee with coconut milk
D-even MORE sliders (6), 1tbsp homemade mayo, nuked frozen veggies, 2 hb eggs, decaf coffee

So, it's probably not good for a person who is trying to lose weight to eat almost an entire lb of beef in 24 hours. It seems like I'm eating a lot of food, but I'm hungry! Maybe I'm just adjusting from being a "sugar burner" while I was off the wagon, to becoming a primal fat burner again. The other concern is that while I'm eating so much, my digestion is still so effed up from last week that nothing is, um...exiting. If you think that's gross, then get over it. Sorryi'mnotsorry. ANYway...mentally I feel good! Still excited to be doing this. Physically, I feel ok, but I look like dog crap, and that's kinda getting to me. I just need to realize this is not a quick process. I look how I used to look...before SCD and Primal. Bloated and gross. Hopefully not for much longer.

Didn't get to workout at all today because I was so busy, but tomorrow I will fo sho, and I'm looking forward to it.

Goodnight!

[Lex26]

I think "sorryi'mnotsorry" is my favorite new word.

Yeah, sugar withdrawal does not feel good. Just know it's temporary. On the constipation front, you might want to keep looking into the stomach acid and HCl supplement thing. If you're not digesting things well - especially protein - yeah, things get stuck and you get bloated. It's a common complaint that high-protein diets cause constipation, but digestion just needs to be improved. Don't rush meals, chew thoroughly and think about HCl supplements. Also, fat literally greases the path . Ew.

[al09]

Hey Lex! Yea, my roommate hates the term "sorryi'mnotsorry", sooooo I've been saying it a lot lately because I'm an ass.

Thanks for the tip on HCl, I didn't realize that could have something to do with it. Also, the fat thing. usually I eat lots of fat but I guess the past two days haven't been as fatty...so I guess I'll try that route too Thanks!

[al09]

Day 3!!!

Today was a pretty sweet day! I had an important "pre-interview" phone conversation this morning about my upcoming internship, so I was SSSUUUUUPER nervous about that. But, I got through it, and I made a better choices regarding my stress eating hahahah. Ohhhh I know one of my goals is to stop using food as a crutch, and it still is, but I'm going to chalk this up to progress and not get super upset that I in fact did stress eat. Can't win 'em all.

Food...this was a bit off today, but still within my rules!

Morning (since I was kind of "grazing" until my interview at 1pm I'm just making this one big category)-
-3 beef sliders (finally killed those suckers. They were delicious)
-raw green cabbage with homemade mayo (totally satisfied my need for a crunch. I actually ate a ton of cabbage, but ummm it could be worse?)
-some random turkey cold cuts
-2 eggs sauteed in bacon grease

Then I did a PBF style workout and realized:
1. skipping a few days of working out makes me clumsy and elephant like
2. I've definitely gained weight and I DON'T like how I'm looking right now. G-ross.
3. Feeling gross about yourself makes me not want to workout.

I pushed through though. And then I took my new Vibrams for a walk!! It was 42 glorious degrees here today, so I had to take advantage and walk outside. I love the Veebs, but I'll admit, after 40 minutes my little toesies were freezing!

Late Afternoon (4p)

-1 can of tuna in water with some homemade mayo and balsamic vinegar (my dad's recipe, it's the bomb)
-little bowl of broccoli and cauliflower with some coconut oil and Franks

Then I went to hot yoga! Fuck yea!

Dinner
-5oz steak
-3 slices of local bacon
-sauteed spinach
-1/4 cup salsa

Snack
-2 more oz steak, coconut oil

I usually try not to eat so late but I was actually hungry, and the left over steak looked really good. I'm not going to make it a habit because I'd like to get back to 16/8 fasting.

Bacon and steak in one meal you say? Ohhhh yes. I'm a boss.

[Lex26]

If you can at least make your stress eating healthy that's the first step. Then there's finding the strength not to do it at all. It's still a weak spot for me, but I've been good for the last month. Today was another major writing day so I all of a sudden had evil cravings for sugar. Luckily I was able to distract myself with a walk and my iPod. In those situations I just have to try really hard to get the logical part of my brain to say, "This pressure sucks but eating really isn't going to make it better - never does." That part of my brain basically has to yell at the top of its lungs when I'm stressed out in order to win. The more it wins, though, the easier it gets to realize that those cravings are temporary and conquerable through a mix of calming down/distraction.