I don't see the masculinity thing as an issue of being "tough". With the exception of maybe the weallthy upper class, women have historically been tough as well, just in a different way. Childbirth is no walk in the park without pain meds, and it's a good example of the difference between "man tough" and "woman tough". Men used to do things like fight in wars - things where you have confrontation and tend to need brute strength. On the other hand, women were expected to do things that required being tough in a different way - birthing a dozen or more babies, fixing up bloodied warriors - things that were less confrontational and more along the lines of "bearing up" under difficult crcumstances. Traditionally, men have been expected to handle the more violent and confrontational type of hardship while women were expected to handle the long-term and less- (or non-) confrontational type. Just an observation.
Back in the day (1863), my ancestors' town was the target of Quantrill's Raiders, since he wasn't exactly thrilled with their anti-slavery stance. When he raided the town, quite a few of the men hid in cellars while the women beat the crap out of the raiders with shovels and farm equipment. So maybe my genetic pool has a bit more testosterone in it than most.