“Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love
One can feel deep humiliation from being cheated on without having told another living soul about it. The humiliation, at least for some, stems from insecurities about themselves and their somehow missing the signs that it was happening/about to happen.
Your friend sounds like she needs a medical checkup (get off the antidepressants?) and a visit to a therapist. Maybe her libido is screwed, or maybe he's a real bastard behind closed doors with a fat bank account. Does she still masturbate, fantasize? Or is it just sex with him that she detests. If it's the latter - we all know what they need to do. Sorry to hear about situations like that...
“Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love
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Psycologically every trauma we will ever have happened prior to age 7. she would need deep regression therapy to find the source. The easy answer is her mother hated sex. but that leads to a regression of her mother. Another easy target answer is that she was sexually abused by a male as in infant or child. That one is harder to deal with as getting the truth is much harder. a final low hanging fruit here is the child seeing sex and being yelled at for it. IE walking in on the parents. There are several more that spring to mind. but these suffice.
Personally when i encounter these blocks i use an ACT AS IF senario to deal with them, i figure that even if i am wrong i will eventually shot gun the problem.
IE what if i walked into my parents room and saw them copulating and they yelled at me, as an adult how would i interpret that interaction? What do i need to tell my younger self about it? then move on. I have several journal entries that are me writing to my younger self giving me advice to deal with that WHEN, now.
Optimum Health powered by Actualized Self-Knowledge.
Predator not Prey
Paleo Ketogenic Lifestyle
CW 315 | SW 506
Current Jeans 46 | Starting Jeans 66
Contact me: quelsen@gmail.com
I wish I knew the answer myself. I think a lot of it had to do with men coming from broken families and being raised mostly by women. The father's weren't around much and a lot of them like my father were too absorbed in their own stuff to be a dad. I spent most of my life thinking I just needed to find the right woman to make my life better. I was wrong and alienated a lot of people. At almost 44 years old I still have yet to learn how to change a tire or the oil in my car but I know thats on me now. Watch Fight Club.
It's a particularly good one, you should definitely read it. But I thought about that too, as I've seen quite a bit of discussion in the "paleo-sphere" (here and elsewhere) about how society was set up. Evolvify has some interesting posts on the topic as well.
Pin the tail on the donkey? Ring around the rosy? Hmmm, I never realized kid's games could sound so dirty.the only thing I want my woman to specialize in is games to play with my weiner. Everything else is obviously a shared answer from which both of us can derive reward and enrichment.
But seriously, I think specialization leads to sequestering all on its own and leads to many of the perceived differences between the sexes. Obviously, there are still differences, but working side by side, especially on the same tasks, can lead to a kind of camaraderie as can learning things from one another. One of my hobbies is redoing furniture, which I'd always wanted to do but didn't really know where to start until he and I worked together and I picked up or improved skills. He's totally supportive of me learning, shows me how to use different tools. I just bought a chest of drawers this morning that I'm going to take the top off of, replace it with something stone, paint it, cut down the bottom and add steel legs. And Really, we're best friends who happen to have sex.
Personally, I like men to look like men and women to look like women. Life is much more beautiful that way imho![]()
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Meh, I never liked sex in high school, wondered why everyone hyped it up so much. Sort of came to assume that sex really was just something women do for men to get them to like us. Then I (finally) figured out I was gay, and everything made a hell of a lot more sense.
Oh, and magnolia, I'm not implying that that's the problem your friend is having, hah, just trying to add some humor to the discussion. All kinds of things -- hormonal imbalances (due to poor diet/lifestyle), birth control, etc, can mess with people's sex drives.
Subduction leads to orogeny
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