Journey to Bootylicious~Or At Least No Muffin Top page

[BeachTeach]

I like to write. Writing keeps me honest. Too many days I assumed I'd eaten healthy and forgotten about the donut snack and chips with lunch while I was face down in a candy bar at the end of the day. My mind can be a very effective conspirator, imposing temporary memory loss to make half a pie seem like a good choice.

As my husband told me early in our dating relationship, "Aren't Hostess fruit pies a healthy alternative to snack cakes?" <grin>

I began the Paleo lifestyle on January 2, 2012, but I'm no stranger to low carb. I was happy and healthy on Atkins about 10 years ago, then I gave it up because my hubby became pescatarian and it was a pain in the butt to cook two different meals. He's agreed to learn how to cook more for himself with the promise of a wife willing to wear the frilly bits to bed once her body is less Pillsbury Doughboy and more Victoria's Secret model-ish. (No illusions there, my lovelies; I'm trying to rock (grok?) my own version there.)

I've been doing really well. I've decided to have wine on occasion and one night a week where I can have bites of non-Paleo stuff. Honestly, it's been easy to adjust, and I don't really want the carbo-stuff anyway anymore. )Well, except for the coupla bites of the Spanish caramel crepes hubby ordered at dinner the other night...holy moly, that was yummy.)

I'm trying to approach this in a more balanced way than I did Atkins. If I "cheated" on Atkins, the self-loathing guilt machine would kick in and make me want the naughty stuff even more. Mark's 80-20 approach resonated so well with me; life IS about balance. The result has been that I really don't crave the carbs, and when I indulge, it's very small amounts, one a week, and I just enjoy it.

Of course as I write this, the hubby is BAKING BREAD. He deserves to go spend some time in a very dark, dank hole for that, because other than bacon, is there a more heavenly scent than fresh bread?

Gah.

More later. I guess this is Day #15.

Tune in later to find out how the first attempt at a pull up since the humiliation of high school PE went. I plan to laugh at myself heartily.

[BeachTeach]

So, you know those super-assisted, I'm talking chair underneath you, pull-ups Mark has in his 21 day transformation book? Um, yeah, can't do a full set. So I did 2 sets of 15.

The cats went wild, like what the hell is momma doin'???? It was hard to hold my plank position because I was giggling so hard.

So, baseline, we've established I am a supreme weakling and am working up to the baseline on the weeny modifications. And that's okay. I am where I am. A month from now, I'll be somewhere different.

[BeachTeach]

Good lord, I'm cranky today. Hubby saw my head spinning and pea soup vomiting and high-tailed it down to his office with his coffee. Poor guy.

I slept like crap last night. Suddenly felt sick as a dog about 9 PM~flu-like symptoms. Many trips to el bano. Pain. All that is gone this morning, so I can log it all up to only one thing:

Damn craft brew. Teensy little glass. Sooo delicious. Poison, apparently.

I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as the 3 hour flu, so it has to be something I ate. Pretty sure it's not the free range chicken breast I had and cooked to temperature, so there's no other option.

I was hoping I'd be able to indulge in the craft brew from time to time, but it seems my body has loudly proclaimed DO. NOT. WANT. on that account.

At least there's still wine.

Pork roast in the crockpot for tonight~already smelling noms.

Happy groking, y'all!

[BeachTeach]

I'm not weighing, measuring, or any of that compulsive tracking I used to do in the past. Keeps me sane, and quite frankly, all that matters is how I feel and how I look.

Well, score one for ME! This is Day 17, and the jeans I couldn't fit into at Christmas because they were strangling my thighs not only fit, but were a little loose in the thighs and bootay. Next stop: new jeans.

Got a pork roast in the crockpot, getting ready to make turnip-cauliflower mashed "potatoes," AND I FIT INTO MY SKINNY JEANS WITH ROOM TO SPARE!!!

Life? She is good.

[bellavida]

BeachTeach...I need to not weigh myself. I started my primal journey 1/3 and a week later I weighed myself and even though my pants that were sausage tight on me for months weren't as tight and I "only lost" 3 pounds I felt like a failure. Then I got the stomach flu. I will continue on my journey and concentrate on how I feel and how I look. Good news about the pants! That's fabulous!

[BeachTeach]

Hi Bellavida! It's for exactly the reasons you described that I decided not to weigh myself this time. I did that before, and my mood was determined by whether I lost or not, how much I lost, etc. It made it more of a diet instead of a lifestyle change.

Because I'm in this for more than the weight (though I'd be lying if I said it wasn't pretty important to me), I wanted to focus on all the other benefits. More energy, sleeping better, joints don't ache, headaches gone, mood leveled out (this morning's grumpfest aside), rarely hungry, no cravings...goodness, those things alone make it worth it. Now, add in the fact that MAH PANTS FIT ME WITH ROOM TO SPARE, well then, it's a no brainer.

Give your scale to a friend to hold on to and try it out for a month. Pay attention to how you feel and how your clothing fits. Weight is just a number. I have a good friend who told me she weighs 150, but she's got a great body and is rocking size 2 jeans. She's got muscle, and muscle weighs more but takes up more room. Don't care what the scale says if I look anything like her!

[BeachTeach]

Loving this lifestyle, but holy shit, I've had a couple of nights where I've gotten leg cramps and there's nothing short of, oh, I don't know, a bucket of ice water getting tossed on you while you're sleeping, to replicate the harsh way you're ripped out of sleeping with those suckers. Does anyone know if I need to take a potassium supplement or if I can just eat a banana every day?

I'm also running into a really interesting problem. The hubby and I have been going to bed earlier so we can get 8 hours of sleep, and my body thinks it's wakey-wakey time about 45-minutes earlier than the alarm is set, about the amount of time I've adjusted my bedtime. I'm sleeping a lot better so it's less harsh, but dangit, body, didn't you get the memo?

I realized the other day that for a good chunk of my life~adolescence until recently, really~I treated my body as if it were an enemy to be conquered. Now, that can't be healthy. It's that sort of loathing and hatred that perpetuates self-harm. I WILL eat this giant slice of pie and you can SUCK IT body seemed logical. I think I've finally come to a truce; I don't actually love my body, but I respect what it wants now. Instead of fighting it and lobbing grenades at it, we're finally working together.

It makes all the difference. I'm happier, my body is happier (aside from the leg cramps)...we're finally on the same side.

Oh, and is anyone else creeped out by the way your toes curl all freaky-like with leg cramps? Makes me just about barf. But maybe that's just me. I think veins are gross too. Used to have to wrap my arm in a towel while I was writing so I didn't have to see them wiggle as my hand moved.

Up next: Bacon time. And leftover pork roast. And salad. SO love not being deprived!

[BeachTeach]

Ze first milestone-ish has been reached:

I can wear my wedding rings again!!!

Last week I was able to EITHER wear the engagement ring OR my wedding ring, not both on my chubby little fingers. That alone was a victory; it's been about a year since I was even able to do that. On a whim today, I decided to try them on together, expecting progress but still having to cram them on my digits.

Nopers. Slid right on. They don't slide around, but they sit nice and comfortable where they belong again.

Three days after rendering my legs unbendable from squats, I can finally move about and sit without groaning like someone with an intestinal disorder. Of course, that means that tomorrow I can do another round of pain and suffe--I mean squats, push ups, planks and pull ups. I'm all a-tingle with delight.

So, you're probably already familiar with the bacongasm, the pleasurable sensation that comes from eating bacon. However, you may be less familiar with the bananagasm, which is not as pornographic as it sounds. Bananas used to taste mushy and sort of bland, but after several weeks off sugar, they are sweet and flavorful and Oh. My. God. Truly delicious. Warm it with a little cinnamon and nutmeg? Bananagasm.

If I had to eat low fat and be thin or eat this way and keep the junk in the trunk, hands down I'd choose this. Thank goodness such food fantasticness is also good for weight loss. WOOT!

[theprimalcajun]

BeachTeach...I am enjoying reading your posts. I had to smile when you were talking about putting on your wedding rings. I too am now able to slip them on in the morning where as prior to going primal I couldn't. Sometimes I could get them on later in the day but I was always to puffy in the morning. Some days I couldn't get them on at all & hated it cause I love my rings!

I also have the occasional leg cramps & oh. my. God. the pain!!! And oh yes...the toe curls...yuk!

loved the bananagasm!! that made me laugh out loud for real!

have a great evening & Grok on!

[BeachTeach]

Hi PrimalCajun!

Glad you're enjoying reading along and that the bananagasm made you laugh. I just can't get over how *good* food tastes now, and I haven't been a packaged food eater for quite some time for the most part.

No leg cramps last night, but I woke up at 2:30 AM because my bladder was threatening to detonate. This, too, is new. Anyone else find they have to pee a lot more? I'm a frequent pee-er in general, but I could drink a full glass of water before bed and be fine and dandy until morning. I also find I have to go go go more during the day. Think I need to brush up on my pee-pee dance moves...maybe I'll stroll over to the Kindergarten area today during my lunch break to get some tips.

(A note: I think kinder teachers are the MOST AMAZING PEOPLE ONE THE PLANET. Kinders are scary. They always have that gelatinous green-yellow slime under their noses, cry a lot, and sometimes have accidents in their pants. Plus, I have no idea how anyone can teach them how to read~they have attention spans as small as gnats! Give me my big stinkies, the middle schoolers. Sure, they're surly and they smell...interesting, but they're funny and they don't wet their pants. Much.)

Getting ready for morning bacon and eggs. I get this garlic/olive oil/red pepper/herbs paste (not really paste, it's much creamier, but I don't know what to call it) at the farmer's market that I seriously could spoon straight out of the tub. I've been putting it on my eggs, and it soothes the loss of bread to balance out the egg taste. I'm going to figure out how to make it myself because $5/tub is an expensive habit unless I ration myself. I suppose they deserve that $5 though; SOMEONE has to peel all those garlic cloves, and that's a special bit of hell all in itself.

Grok on, y'all!