Happy Birthday! I just read through your whole journal - man, you are *comitted*!
I like your writing voice, too, it makes you feel like an old friend.
If your wife is determined to make a cake, might you compromise by having her make an almond flour cake? The net hosts dozens of good recipes...that would reduce the "screwup" factor. We're not as committed as you are, and we serve them for birthdays regularly.
Grain Free since 2009, WP from 2005
~100% primal (because anything less makes me very sick)
Goal: hike across Sweden with my grandchildren when I retire in a few years