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Thread: Frustrated with other peoples opinions!? page

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    LisaAnn's Avatar
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    Frustrated with other peoples opinions!?

    Primal Fuel
    I just wanted to express my feelings on a few issues to see if anyone agrees and/or has or has had similar experiences. I am currently trying to lose weight. I am not totally primal but I follow to a certain extent. What I do works for me and I feel healthy so that's all that matters to me. Over the last two months I have lost 13 pounds and gained some muscle through strength training.

    I am so sick of people giving their opinion to me. Well, that sounds bad but here is what I mean. When I decide to make a certain food choice in front of people or when it comes up that I am losing weight someone always has an opinion. Friends, coworker, customers (I've worked part time in a small restaraunt for years therefore I know many of the customers more than I would even like to). always have something to say. It usually goes like this "Oh, you don't need to lose weightt." Or "Don't get too skinny!" Or "You're crazy! Aren't you going to be hungry?" I may not be obese but I don't believe I am healthy. Before I started I weighed 204 pounds. I am 5'10'' I don't think I look huge but I know I wasnt carrying around 40 pounds of muscle. When I hit 200 I knew something had to be done. I needed to drop some weight.

    The restaurant I work in is a Sicilian pizza place. Our food is TERRIBLE healthwise! Some people come in 4 times a week. This is why I am on a personal level with them. Sometimes they ask "How do you stay so skinny working here?" I am not skinny by any means. I am just not morbidly obese like some of them. I don't just go out there saying I am on a diet or trying to lose weight, I mean more of when it comes up in casual conversation. I was recently in my best friends wedding and the brides cousin said she didn't want to be in a wedding with all of her cousins SIZE 2 friends. I actually wear a size 12 in pants most of the time. (They're getting loose, hehe). She thinks I'm a size 2?? Just because she is a size 22?? I don't even really know what the point of this post is! It's just so frustrating the way this country is. People think I am crazy for trying to lose weight but I know if all of you paleo followers saw me you would see I have some work to do. It's like oerweight is normal now and it's not until you are morbidly obese that you have a problem!

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    Laconophile's Avatar
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    Crab mentality - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    Crab mentality, sometimes referred to as crabs in the bucket, describes a way of thinking best described by the phrase "if I can't have it, neither can you." The metaphor refers to a pot of crabs. Individually, the crabs could easily escape from the pot, but instead, they grab at each other in a useless "king of the hill" competition (or sabotage) which prevents any from escaping and ensures their collective demise. The analogy in human behavior is that of a group that will attempt to "pull down" (negate or diminish the importance of) any member who achieves success beyond the others, out of envy, conspiracy or competitive feelings.

    This term is broadly associated with short-sighted, non-constructive thinking rather than a unified, long-term, constructive mentality. It is also often used colloquially in reference to individuals or communities attempting to "escape" a so-called "underprivileged life," but kept from doing so by others attempting to ride upon their coat-tails or those who simply resent their success.
    Ye shall know them by their fruits.

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    To be fair, often when people say things like "Don't get too skinny," or "You don't need to lose weight," they are trying to be complimentary. Often people think they need to lose weight to look better and it is a way for someone to say "Hey, I think you look good already."

    Not perfect but I don't think they are being malicious. Just my opinion of course

    BTW You don't need to lose weight! Here, eat a calzone! (Kidding. Grok on with your bad self)
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

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    Laconophile's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    To be fair, often when people say things like "Don't get too skinny," or "You don't need to lose weight," they are trying to be complimentary. Often people think they need to lose weight to look better and it is a way for someone to say "Hey, I think you look good already."
    They are trying to be complimentary but their unconscious motives are selfish. When an obese person tells an overweight person that they are skinny, they are attempting to flatter their own ego too. The implication is that the obese person's weight is 'normal'.
    Ye shall know them by their fruits.

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    LisaAnn's Avatar
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    I hear you, It's just frustrating. Maybe compared to them I don't need to lose weight and maybe they would be happy to only be 30 pounds overweight but it's usually people who are really really overweight saying this to me. My point is that this is what our society has come to? People thinking being overweight is "skinny."

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    magnolia1973's Avatar
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    Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one.

    I'd go ahead and find some healthier people to hang out with, outside of work. I ride horses with a bunch of teen girls. Looking at them confirms to me that I need to lose some fat, even if I am looking svelter than the ladies at the WalMart. And yes, slowly our society is accepting fat as the norm... I do believe the obesity rate in America is 30%. Probably at 5'10/200lbs (well, 187 now! congrates) you probably do look thinner than most. The funny thing is we still worship unattainably thin as beautiful- god forbid we have models with some biceps, glutes and shoulders.

    And I think people like to drag you down to their level, it's easier than rising up to yours. It's work so you really can't be honest with them.

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    sakura_girl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laconophile View Post
    lmao, I totally need to use this in some of my discussions or as refutals in convos with people

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    And well, maybe you should thank them for being fat- probably helps keep ya off the pizza...

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    I'd just say "Aren't you sweet! Would you like a refill?" and hope for a nice big tip.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
    Starting squat: 45lbs. Current squat: 175 x 3. Current Deadlift: 225 x 3

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    LisaAnn's Avatar
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    Lol, I do hang out with some healthier people! Work used to make me feel good because I would think "At least I don't look like them!" I work at one of the busiest/best pizza places in my town. I make awesome tips but sometimes it's sickening! Because the place I work is so popular I see some crazy people. They chow down on trays of pizza that is deep fried in peanut oil, and our salads are really popular. We serve them in deep fried tortilla shell bowls. Everyone orders them with "low fat italian dressing and a diet coke, of course!" It's hilarious. I like my job because of what I see. I'm not making fun of people, I just naturally pay attention now and I make so many observations as to what people order. The worst part is when they are feeding it to their chubby little kids. As adults we have a choice, young children do not.

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