Man, I really can't believe the last time I posted was only a week ago! So many highs and lows (mostly lows though, but then highs!) have happened since then. I am such a mood swing queen.
As you probably guessed, I've been absent during the past week because, yes, I've been sick again, with sinusitis this time. Only I got so sick from it I actually had a fever and was in bed all day, which is all kinds of messed up I think. When I shared this sentiment with my doctor (well not my regular doctor), she said that my immune system is probably all hyper from the mono, so that whenever something small happens than can be perceived as a threat, like a small cold, it starts to produce these nuclear strength mononucleosis-defeating antibodies that give me a fever and make me feel miserable. She gave me some pills that my pharmacist said were commonly used to stop allergies, but that I'm not taking because they contain something called pseudo-epinephrine and, ahem, hello, anxiety suffering ex-junkie here (?), but she probably didn't see that in my file or something.
Anyway the whole thing reminded me a bit too much of all these hyperactive immune system stories on this site so instead of putting two and two together like I should have and clean up my act, what do I do? As soon as she puts me on leave from work (yes, again...) for the rest of the week I lock myself in the house and spent all day eating bagels/frozen pizza/Ben & Jerry's and playing computer games in my pyjamas. Cue horrible nightmare's/waking up covered in sweat/constant stomach ache/general depression/social phobia/even more binge eating until on Friday night I snapped and cried my eyes out to my boyfriend and then we actually had a fight because he doesn't even think that what I am doing is that wrong (apart from the staying indoors all day when it's sunny out) and according to him "there isn't that much of a difference between 60 kilos and 70 kilos" (well duh, 10 kilos! ), so I cried even more and he ended up just hugging me because he doesn't have the slightest clue but is a sweet guy who tries hard.
So on Saturday morning (yesterday) I sucked it up and made myself some bacon and 2 eggs sunny side up, then sat outside on our back (= private) porch and leafed through my "Primal Blueprint: Quick and Easy Meals" that had just come in the mail (I took that as a sign, and our landlord had just come that morning to install our new furnace, so we have 4 burners again, another sign!).
Fast forward to present: I am totally in love with this book! I've had to eat alone for two nights in a row now, which is usually my 'me' time of eating in front of the TV (we don't have cable so watch TV only rarely and save up shows on DVD) and tonight I actually felt that eating in front of the TV would be blasphemous so I sat alone at the dinner table listening to the radio, all mindfulness-like
I got so excited I even took pictures:
^^ this is courgette 'pasta' with chicken and creamy walnut sauce (only I made it with pecans), as on page 195 (I know the tomato slices are way corny in a circle like that, but I was feeling giddy ) The sauce is amazing and I am already planning a summer garden get together with raw veggies and all those wonderful primal dips! I tried it today with cucumber: yum.
Then I ruined it by eating an entire package of Oxfam's 70% chocolate and then some more (14 squares to be exact) so today, I gave the last package I had left to the boyfriend and asked him to make it disappear.
We took a long walk today (well, more of a long stroll) and got lots of sun and I realised somewhere in the afternoon that my stomach ache is gone already. Then I finally got some studying done and at night, while the boy was at band practice, put some pork in a zip lock bag in the fridge along with some Fennel and Lemon Rub (p215), and used the other half of the pork to make 'pork salad with date vinaigrette' (p97):
... and I think I had a culigasm or at least a culi-crush on this Jennifer Meier lady. I ended up eating only half of that plate, btw. The vinaigrette is so incredibly rich you simply can't eat that much of it, but man, is it fabulous! Dates, lemon zest, anchovies and garlic? Who would have thought? Anyway, after that particularly adventurous combo (I even ate fennel, which I normally hate), I have 100% blind trust in this woman and am planning to make every single recipe in the book. And I still have the basic primal cookbook and 'Paleo Comfort Foods' arriving next week! (I ordered them all on Amazon UK, but then had to wait so long for them to come in from the US that I almost forgot about them)
Pfff! This post is about as bipolar as I've been feeling (for the record, I am not bipolar, just, I don't know, maybe sometimes I am a little... :-/). I really want to stay on the wagon this time. The boyfriend may not think so, but I really do have some eating disorder-remnant and mood disorder type problems that all seem to get better the better I follow this life style. And I want my immune system to chill the $%@# out already. There's work to be done here!