I've been fuzzing with quitting. I should and want to quit. I get ALL the praise weed gets but in my life, I shouldn't allow it for a number of reasons. The most relevant for MDA readers is that it makes me eat shit, it doesn't MAKE ME but it turns off my "don't eat that!" response and I look forward to indulging in non primal snacks.
I smoked yesterday after fighting the urge for hours and I had chips for the first time since going primal and now I feel pretty bad about it. I know the 80/20 rule could apply here and that it isn't the end of the world, but it sent a strong message to me about what further changes I need to make in my primal journey, letting go of marijuana has to be one of them. It's unfortunate that I don't have the mental fortitude to embrace some the benefits and fight off the negative aspects.
I'm replacing (hate to put it like that) weed with tea which I've become a big fan of, unsweetened tea rules and I'm going to buy some at Teavana later today. My job can be long and sometimes stressful and I've "medicated" by smoking when I got off work, it's become too habitual and it feels more like a crutch. I don't pay attention to the things I need to do if I'm high. I wish I could be like the functional folks I read about but I'm not and it's important to accept and understand that and act accordingly. I think there's space in my life for it as a once in a blue moon actually RECREATIONAL drug, not an every other day, just because it's there thing. Feel lame admitting this, but I never do anything great or fun when I'm stoned either, I always end up in front of a tv or playing a video game and inevitably munching on garbage. I've even tried making primal snacks and once I wolf those down I'll reach for a pint of ice cream or something. No more, need to get a hold of my consciousness and keep my mind fresh, use the time after work to wind down with some tea and work on my studies and other duties. I need to start applying for big boy jobs for after May when I graduate and I can't go into it with a traceable drug in my system.
Sorry for the long post + the bump of an old thread, but I needed to write this for myself, to keep myself accountable and to present to anybody reading this and saying to themselves "yeah, weed is primal!" to be wary, if it works for you that's great, but if you're like me you may want to watch your level of indulgence.
I used to seriously post here, now I prefer to troll.