Cassanina's Primal Journal (Hooray!)
Accountability. That's what this is.
I come from a family of fairly overweight women, except, by some miracle, for my two younger sisters. My mother, my aunts, my grandmother....all overweight. Scratch that. All OBESE. In fact, my mother just had Lap Band surgery a month ago. Pre-diabetic, and my grandmother is full out diabetic with many other health problems. If I don't change my ways, I'll end up just like they are.
Thankfully, I'm not obese. But I definitely have a good 25-35 pounds that shouldn't be around. I'm in the military, and while I can (sometimes BARELY) pass their body fat standards, I am unhappy with how I look and feel. Even worse, I'm an officer and supposed to be setting a good example for all those around me. Epic fail! (So far at least).
When I was in Iraq in 2009, I first heard of the Paleo diet and read Loren Cordain's book. It made a lot of sense to me, and I was able to change my ways, but I was still severely addicted to carbs and would binge at least once a week, and hard. Come to find out, I have been living in denial about having an eating disorder for the last 5-10 years. I am an overeater, a binge-eater, and (I think) a recovering one now.
I was abused when I was around 4-6yrs old (and wow, I just posted that to the whole world) and share that in hopes that it may eventually help others who have been. As a result, I shaped this whole self esteem inside my head where I wasn't good enough, which resulted in a full blown eating disorder in my 20s. I went to counseling and it wasn't until I started working on the abuse (the cause) rather than the eating disorder (the symptom) that things started to get better.
So here I am. Extremely knowledgable about what food is good for me, and what food isn't, but still struggling with carb-binges as a result of a recovering eating disorder. And thankfully it's not January yet, so I can make this "resolution" without the corny-ness and ultimately futile ending that comes with New Year's.
I WILL TAKE BACK CONTROL OF MY LIFE.
I WILL FEED MYSELF FOOD THAT IS GOOD FOR MY BODY AND MY MIND.
I WILL CONTINUE TO WORK OUT MY EATING DISORDER THROUGH COUNSELING AND PRAY THAT I WILL ONE DAY DEFEAT IT.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, I WILL NOT END UP LIKE THE REST OF THE WOMEN IN MY FAMILY.
I'm 28 years old, 5'6" and probably 175-180 pounds. Weighing in regularly really messes up my eating disorder, so I choose to gauge myself on other things. I'm wearing a size 14 (loose).
Goal: 145-150, size 6-8
I've been doing Crossfit for about a month and absolutely love it. I'm also supplementing it with the 100-pushup challenge (and also doing the situp, dips and squats challenges).
Oh, and I just ordered about 1/8 of a grassfed cow from a local farmer near Austin, TX, as well as a bunch of chicken, bison, pork, bacon and butter from US Wellness Meats.
And I signed up for the Whole9 Nutrition seminar that's coming to Austin in two weeks. Hooray!
Hoping this journal will keep me accountable, and also will let me see how far I've come!
的t's a lifestyle--train like there's no finish line".
Army Officer by day.
Practicing Crossfitter, Yogi, Chef and Hiker by night.