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Thread: Nursing Home Serious Questions page 2

  1. #11
    Saoirse's Avatar
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    i think it varies by home, but we have a family member who works as an RN. S/he has told me enough stories of medical incompetence of superiors and things bordering on neglect to know that I would never put anyone in a nursing home unless it was absolutely necessary. Most of what was told to me was actually legal, as is what you've said above. i'm trying to plan for my financial future so that we can afford to have a MIL's apartment on our home or property. I have 3 parents (incl. a stepdad) and of course my husband's 2 parents, and no faith in my brothers or my inlaws to believe anyone else will care for our parents if they need it. the discarding of elderly that's so rampant in our culture is truly saddening.

    that being said, i do think there are situations which might require an elderly person to be institutionalized, and i have to hope that there are nursing homes run by caring staff who want to promote health. i just don't think it's the norm. also, my mother has specifically requested that we put her in a nursing home. she has a few years to decide (she's in poor health, but is only 52), i won't hold her to it.

    if your friend wants his relative on a certain nutritional regime that's not supported by the nursing home staff, he'll have to fight for it through the doctor. the key is finding a doctor who will give that order (the specific vitamin D supplementation and nutrition plan), and then the relative will have to be vigilant about making sure the staff follows through (and report them if they don't).

  2. #12
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    Have the rules changed? My grandmother lived in a nursing home some years ago and they did not have control of her finances. My mother had power of attorney and took care of all of her affairs. Medicare would not pay for the facility until she had run through her own money, though. This happened the month she died, so we never did have to deal with them. I think the rule, back then at least, was that she was allowed to keep a small amount of savings in reserve for final expenses but that was it.

  3. #13
    Saoirse's Avatar
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    as far as the "confiscation" goes, i have heard of that but the typical course is to gift most of it to family instead of leaving an inheritance.

  4. #14
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    I've heard many middle to older aged people comment that they'd better make sure to transfer all their assets/wealth to their closest relatives before they get to the point of needing a nursing home as otherwise their closest relatives will NEVER see it.

    If the experience I was involved in with my grandparents about 10 years ago is any indication, then YES! Nursing homes are in the business of systemically removing all wealth from the people that are in their care before they die.

    The attitude seems to be that the "next" patient will probably have nothing to pay them and they will be forced to care for them (by government regulation) anyway so whenever a Granny comes along that's "loaded" they'd better milk 'em for all they've got to "make up for it"

    It's sad and I'm sure there are exceptions, but I think when evaluating the industry norms that's *exactly* how the game is played.

    By the time I'm that age...on one hand I shudder to think how bad it will be, but on the other hand, I figure by then I'll be declared "too much of a burden" on the socialist medical system and will have already been terminated for "the greater good"
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  5. #15
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    My father has been in a nursing facility. One thing that alarmed me- I called him one sunday, and he was garbled and did not make sense. He frequently receives breating treatments, so I assumed he had the mask on and could not talk. Turns out he went from being a coherent, friendly man fighting an infection, to being completely out of it. My mom, who visits every day had to push to get him more help. Turns out he had carbon monoxide poisoning due to something with his oxygen. It annoyed me to no end that no one on staff noticed the friendly talkative man slipping into a state of delirium OR didn't think anything was wrong.

    My mom is allowed to visit everyday- if she didn't I think he'd be dead. He is supposed to go home soon- thank god, because it did feel like a death warehouse. Only ONE staff member seemed to care- a physical therapist who encouraged him and helps him prepare to go home.

    I guess I am not suprised- most of the workers could probably make more at WalMart. But no way in hell would I be happy if my mom could not see my dad DAILY. Quarantine sounds like BS. He had an infection and had to stay in his room, but people could see him- we just had to wear masks and scrubs.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
    as far as the "confiscation" goes, i have heard of that but the typical course is to gift most of it to family instead of leaving an inheritance.
    I can't remember where you are? US? Some years back they changed the rules in the US, you must have "gifted" your estate at least 7 (I think) years prior to admission to the nursing home or they are subject to confiscation. I think too many people were doing what you had heard of so they put a stop to it.
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  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaisyEater View Post
    Have the rules changed? My grandmother lived in a nursing home some years ago and they did not have control of her finances. My mother had power of attorney and took care of all of her affairs. Medicare would not pay for the facility until she had run through her own money, though. This happened the month she died, so we never did have to deal with them. I think the rule, back then at least, was that she was allowed to keep a small amount of savings in reserve for final expenses but that was it.
    Your description is correct. My mother was a geriatric nurse and then a care manager at a nursing home. I grew up volunteering with mom on the weekends. The truth is that it is very sad. The place I was took good care of people, but it is very, very challenging to give awesome care to people with so many medical issues. Once there are cognitive issues on top of it, things are even harder.

    No doubt there are serious abuses that go on. But it is a very difficult issue. People are living longer than they should.
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  8. #18
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    I use to be a social worker in a nursing home. Many of them must follow strict Medicare guidelines are are subject to yearly state inspections. The residents who live in nursing homes have rights and the nursing home must accommodate their rights to a point. If you have concerns, a great advocate for the person living in the home, as well as their family members is the long term care ombudsman. They serve as advocates and mediators. All these issues could be explored with the LTC Ombudsman.

    I do know that many will supply an alternative diet to meet the needs of their residents. If someone requests something very much out of the norm (a T-bone every night) the cost would fall to the resident. They do make substitutions though. Their meals are guided by dietitians, yet of course we know how skewed the recommended diet is here in the U.S.A!

    Some nursing homes are wonderful. Residents create friends with staff and other residents and they can provide the support someone needs when others cannot take care of them.

    I hope that helped.

  9. #19
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    Depends on the place. I worked at a home for 7 years that had the Eden philosophy, which called for the nursing home to be elder's HOME. Plants, animals, children, decor, all the things you would have at home. Elder was the boss, if they want to sleep in til noon, fine. If they didn't want to take calcium pills cuz they were too hard to swallow, fine. The residents plan the menus and even help cook some meals, bake cookies, give recipes to the kitchen to make. The halls are divided into neighborhoods and the neighbors have councils on events and schedules.

    I wouldn't mind living there when I'm old.
    AND Grizz- They must have a Dr's order to administer even OTC meds, so get a script and he can have the vit D
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  10. #20
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    Oh and the finance thing, it's a requirement of Title XIX that a person have no source of income (ie a house to sell for money) in order for them to pay for a nursing home. If Medicaid/Medicare is going to invest allllll that money in your care, they have to be sure you really don't have the money to pay for it yourself.
    "I tried to call the nurse again, but she's bein' a little bitch....I think I'll get outta here." Pink

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