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Thread: She-Groks Only.......... cuz it works different for us page 108

  1. #1071
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leida View Post
    1. If I got a C on the test, I would not be happy with myself, but i can foresee myself being happy with working hard and getting an A.
    1) If your child busted his/her butt consistently but only ever achieved a C grade would you be upset? Would you tell them to try harder because their C wasn't good enough?

    2. No, this is hardly the place to discuss the overall life's level of achievement and interests beyond fat loss, paleo eating, play and fitness
    2) What? fat loss is tied to your life. If you can't enjoy yourself because you think you are "fat" how are you living life to it's fullest?

    3. To arrive to one's destination, one has to know what the destination is. Stumbling around aimlessly hoping to come upon something you like... not me.
    3) You need to pick a realistic destination.

  2. #1072
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leida View Post
    The belly roll, the bulge on the outer thigh, and the muffin top. It is very visible. I don't know if it is 15% or 18% that gets rid of that, but by pic comparison I am between 22-25% BF. Paula did not mention taking drugs. I see plenty of women who do not sport extra fat that I sport in the pool. Zoebird on this forms speculated that dropping to 17-18% BF is no biggie. i would take that if I could stay there, not ride back up every time I get close.
    You are not Paula. You are not Zoebird.

    Occam Razor says that all things being equal, the simplest explanation is the best. Yep, there is some genetic variation, but all and all, I figure those fit women are simply better than I am at not over-eating. My over-eating comes from the life-long addiction to sugar. Now, that's the real problem, not that I look at the mirror the wrong way.
    Or maybe your "sugar addiction" is direct result of constantly restricting yourself and over exercising.

    Every time I tried to 'just accept myself', I gained weight. In the past 2 months, I did not control my food intake, but ate clean. The result? 4 lbs gained and gearing up. That's the second time that happened. No external control - unstoppable weight gain. And I have had a rather scary glimpse to where that road ends. I have seen myself overweight. I see that photo in my mind. I am afraid of ever getting there again. It is so easy for me. I just don't have to do anything... give myself a break, you know.
    These thoughts here show that you DO need to talk to someone.

  3. #1073
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judg View Post

    And Kerry, stick with it. Do buy new clothes, or at least stop wearing the baggy ones. (But do save at least one outfit, so you can try it on every now and again to marvel at how much room there is in it.) And you will reach a point, quite suddenly, when everyone will see the difference. I think eventually our proportions change so that people start seeing us in a new category. When we are very overweight, it takes quite a while to get there. I am betting you are on the verge of hitting it. Be prepared. Everyone will let you know. And the good news is, you will change categories faster after that. I think it's probably mathematical, to tell you the truth, but I am way too lazy to try to figure it out. Something about the width to height ratio, and how the mind will round it off. When the ratio changes enough, people see you as an entirely different shape. I say that because almost everybody seems to notice at the same time, so there must be some kind of objective thing going on.
    Such a nice message, Judg, thank you. OK, I'll ditch the baggy stuff and stick with the smaller sizes. I'm taking heart from your assurances!

  4. #1074
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leida View Post

    Every time I tried to 'just accept myself', I gained weight. In the past 2 months, I did not control my food intake, but ate clean. The result? 4 lbs gained and gearing up. That's the second time that happened. No external control - unstoppable weight gain. And I have had a rather scary glimpse to where that road ends. I have seen myself overweight. I see that photo in my mind. I am afraid of ever getting there again. It is so easy for me. I just don't have to do anything... give myself a break, you know.
    Have you considered that in your pursuit of your 15% bodyfat you have actually messed up your hormones and metabolism. Your calorie deficits coupled with the extent that you exercise has to stress your adrenals,etc.

    Sometimes the body and it's systems need to heal from the stresses diet and exercise, like yours, create. During that healing time weight gain is possible. After healing happens the body tends to self regulate.

    The fact you said, "I have seen myself overweight. I see that photo in my mind. I am afraid of ever getting there again.", speaks volumes in regards to the psychological aspect of your "mirror image" and how that image is tainted by the photo in your mind.

    No amount of dieting and exercising will change the image in your head or the fear of being overweight again.

  5. #1075
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    Leida, there are many settings on the dial between 0 and 10. Just because I'm saying I am happy with the progress I have made and that I am willing to be happy when I am less than perfect doesn't mean I glorify fat. I always, even at my most obese, thought it was ridiculous when people tried to justify being fat. I do not want to look like a Titian or Reubens model, thank you very much. Obese is unhealthy and usually unattractive. Some people manage to be attractive even when obese, but they invariably look better at a lower weight. And they are healthier.

    I sometimes see myself as fat in the mirror too. It's not delusion, there is still some fat there, more than is necessary for health, and more than is attractive. The fat is not attractive. However, I am. I can look attractive, even with those 17 extra pounds. I will look more attractive without them. That's why I'm still trying to lose them, because honestly, at this point, it's not so much about my health anymore. I'm out of the danger zones and into acceptable or even optimal ranges for most readings (CFS not turning up on most of the tests they do). So the rest of it is just for feeling attractive. I get that, I do. However, I refuse to make myself miserable because I'm not there yet. I also refuse to disparage myself or consider myself unattractive because I'm not there yet. There are many settings on the attractiveness meter between 0 and 10 also, and why shouldn't I be happy if I've made it to 7 or 8 instead of being stuck at 2 or 3?
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
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  6. #1076
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    Quote Originally Posted by marcadav View Post
    Have you considered that in your pursuit of your 15% bodyfat you have actually messed up your hormones and metabolism. Your calorie deficits coupled with the extent that you exercise has to stress your adrenals,etc.

    Sometimes the body and it's systems need to heal from the stresses diet and exercise, like yours, create. During that healing time weight gain is possible. After healing happens the body tends to self regulate.
    +10000

  7. #1077
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    There is really nothing wrong with the current me, metabolically, hormonally, mentally. I had a couple of leftover bad habits from the way I was raised in regards to fruit and after-supper teas - I am sure it is habitual, not physiological. I believe that my goal is perfectly achievable. I have found what works great for me in fitness, and it snapped into place. I see no reason why I can't find the correct nutritional balance. I will.

    Anyway, this is going in circles. Sorry I've raised the issue.

    There are many settings on the attractiveness meter between 0 and 10 also, and why shouldn't I be happy if I've made it to 7 or 8 instead of being stuck at 2 or 3?
    And so you should. Still doesn't hurt to aim for 10. In fact, I have a feeling that it is a pre-requisite to staying at 7 or 8.
    Last edited by Leida; 06-26-2012 at 01:00 PM.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  8. #1078
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    Quote Originally Posted by teach2183 View Post
    bakers3, You are way low for vit D. My levels came in high 20's in Feb and my doctor suggested 5000IU. I think the rule is 1000 for every 10 you want to raise your level.
    AGREED......... thats what my doc says too.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

  9. #1079
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    Ladies, Leida is right this is going in circles but I think there is something here to benefit everyone.

    I really don't think it helps to jump on someone and tell them they "need help", etc. when they are expressing a desire to improve their physicality.

    Yes, there has been too much societally imposed defining of "perfection" and yes we should throw off those shackles. Good. Done. But I think that it is possible to swing to the opposite extreme too. We shouldn't get on someone's case just because they have high ideals for themselves.

    I don't think anything Leida has said would lead me to believe that she would do anything radical like starve herself, take drugs or make herself puke just to achieve an "unrealistic" goal of body perfection.

    People told me on my calorie counting thread that I clearly was suffering from body dysmorphic disorder just because I chose to pursue awesome and not settle for pretty good.

    This is an individual choice and we should be supportive, not telling someone they need to "get help" just because we have different goals.

  10. #1080
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judg View Post
    Leida, there are many settings on the dial between 0 and 10. Just because I'm saying I am happy with the progress I have made and that I am willing to be happy when I am less than perfect doesn't mean I glorify fat. I always, even at my most obese, thought it was ridiculous when people tried to justify being fat. I do not want to look like a Titian or Reubens model, thank you very much. Obese is unhealthy and usually unattractive. Some people manage to be attractive even when obese, but they invariably look better at a lower weight. And they are healthier.

    I sometimes see myself as fat in the mirror too. It's not delusion, there is still some fat there, more than is necessary for health, and more than is attractive. The fat is not attractive. However, I am. I can look attractive, even with those 17 extra pounds. I will look more attractive without them. That's why I'm still trying to lose them, because honestly, at this point, it's not so much about my health anymore. I'm out of the danger zones and into acceptable or even optimal ranges for most readings (CFS not turning up on most of the tests they do). So the rest of it is just for feeling attractive. I get that, I do. However, I refuse to make myself miserable because I'm not there yet. I also refuse to disparage myself or consider myself unattractive because I'm not there yet. There are many settings on the attractiveness meter between 0 and 10 also, and why shouldn't I be happy if I've made it to 7 or 8 instead of being stuck at 2 or 3?
    +1. You deserve to be happy, we all do.
    F 5 ft 3. HW: 196 lbs. Primal SW (May 2011): 182 lbs (42% BF)... W June '12: 160 lbs (29% BF) (UK size 12, US size 8). GW: ~24% BF - have ditched the scales til I fit into a pair of UK size 10 bootcut jeans. Currently aligning towards 'The Perfect Health Diet' having swapped some fat for potatoes.

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