Leida, there are many settings on the dial between 0 and 10. Just because I'm saying I am happy with the progress I have made and that I am willing to be happy when I am less than perfect doesn't mean I glorify fat. I always, even at my most obese, thought it was ridiculous when people tried to justify being fat. I do not want to look like a Titian or Reubens model, thank you very much. Obese is unhealthy and usually unattractive. Some people manage to be attractive even when obese, but they invariably look better at a lower weight. And they are healthier.
I sometimes see myself as fat in the mirror too. It's not delusion, there is still some fat there, more than is necessary for health, and more than is attractive. The fat is not attractive. However, I am. I can look attractive, even with those 17 extra pounds. I will look more attractive without them. That's why I'm still trying to lose them, because honestly, at this point, it's not so much about my health anymore. I'm out of the danger zones and into acceptable or even optimal ranges for most readings (CFS not turning up on most of the tests they do). So the rest of it is just for feeling attractive. I get that, I do. However, I refuse to make myself miserable because I'm not there yet. I also refuse to disparage myself or consider myself unattractive because I'm not there yet. There are many settings on the attractiveness meter between 0 and 10 also, and why shouldn't I be happy if I've made it to 7 or 8 instead of being stuck at 2 or 3?
5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again
More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
- Lewis Mumford